Sex Education

My school teaches the abstinence-only type. Ironically, my school also has the highest rate of STDs in the area. I also find that abstinence-only sex ed is kind of derogatory to the girls (read: cis girls. I guess trans people don't exist according to all sex ed), comparing them to stuff that the guys should keep out of to avoid the STDs, and then go on to the typical 'virginity is sacred' rant. I don't think it's effective. I also hate that all sex-ed assumes that everyone is straight and the abstinence thing assumes that everyone is going to get married and have kids, which just sits wrong with me.

I had this discussion last week with 2 girls at lunch who thought abstinence only sex education was the best (and only way) we should be teaching teenagers. I honestly believe we need to add more information into sex education. I remember having some sex education between 9th and 10th grade, but I don't remember what all we learned (so clearly it wasn't much). I honestly believe that if you don't teach teenagers other forms of contraception (i.e. condoms, birth control pills, IUDs, etc), then they will be ignorant about it and go out and have unprotected sex. It's clearly shown in states like Alabama and Mississippi, so what makes people think it works?

@ independence.
Fear.

Seriously, though no one seems to carry this abstinence-only lifestyle past high school. There are a few individuals I know saving themselves for marriage, but this entire culture of purity sort of gets shot to shit once you graduate and can't be a high school parent anymore. No one shames anyone for premarital sex after graduating.

It's just this fear that if children (teens) know they will do, but I'd rather them do safely.

@ dru is beautiful.
I even tried telling them that teenagers are going to have sex either way, so if they're going to do it, they might as well know the precautions they can take. Whenever I said that, their logic was "but we aren't having sex!" And the one girl said "If you take away their safety nets (condoms, BC, etc) then they won't want to have sex because then they'll go 'Hey, I don't have anything to keep me from getting pregnant/getting someone pregnant'". I kept trying to use Alabama and Mississippi as examples and they wouldn't listen. I was like

@ independence.
My parents are under the impression that taking birth control away from people will prevent sex from happening. When I was 16 I asked my mom if I could start birth control and they said no, because they didn't want me having sex and I would become promiscuous if I did. I used condoms instead without them knowing.

@ Name Of Misery.
It's just ridiculous. It's proven time and time again that it doesn't work. Sex is going to happen either way, so you might as well give people the precautions they can take so it doesn't become a problem.

@ independence.
I agree. And I felt hurt that my parents assumed bad things about me just because I wanted to have safe sex. Instilling fear is not a good way to teach (abstinence-only education is very good at that).

@ Name Of Misery.
Exactly. It's the same way I think when I told my mom I wanted to get my tattoo. I think she assumed I was trying to be rebellious or any other stigma associated with tattoos, when I wanted it because I loved the idea I had came up with. The precautions are there for a reason, so we don't end up with lots of unwanted children or women being pressured into having kids they can't afford or any other consequences. Sex isn't just to reproduce. It's also for fun, but a lot of people (especially around my town) seem to think otherwise.

I'm homeschooled so it's my parents responsibility to teach me about sex. But they haven't. Which is okay I guess since I've learned from other people. The only thing is what if I didn't know about sexual diseases? What if I got one and just kept going around giving it to people because I never even knew I had one/knew what one was/knew that could happen.

@ Hannah1999
The problem with learning from other people is they may be wrong. Like the douching with Coke keeps you from getting pregnant, virgins can't get pregnant, etc. It's SO important for parents to teach their kids about sex and most parents think that means they're advocating sex. My mom talked to me about sex ALL the time growing up. Most of the time I thought it was disgusting. It, in no way, made me want to have sex even though she was discussing it in a positive light.

@ dru is beautiful.
Well I have married siblings and so I they keep me educated. But yeah, that's what I mean.

My opinions on sex education are weird, I think.

I feel as though men should be taught that rape is wrong (a friend of mine was raped so that subject is dear to me) as well as also educating men that forcing women into sex is not okay. Maybe even teaching women the same with men. I feel there should be more education on the likes of one night stands, sex and alcohol, sex and drugs etc. Just to keep people safe in this world. Sex is a beautiful thing but so many people abuse that.

I went to a Catholic school and was basically told that we couldn't have safe sex, that we weren't allowed to use condoms... That's not right. I understand that some people have their own beliefs but I feel as though regardless of your religion you should still be telling teenagers to use protection.

I also feel there should be safe sex talks for people in the LGBTQ community because my first time was so awkward, I literally had no idea what to do. I don't know if people would want to have that explained in class but I feel that it should have a mention.

@ cupid boy
Don't feel weird. My friends and I have the same opinions. Consent culture is important. My friend had a sex ed teacher that told her class if you rub a girl's clit you can pretty much rape her and my dad's taught him ten no's and a yes is still a yes

@ dru is beautiful.
WHAT THE HELL? Oh my god, that teacher deserves to be seriously reprimanded like, at the very least. I almost said fired, but then remembered that not everyone becomes a good human being on the same timetable and I can't expect everyone to be like that, but JESUS CHRIST. Also, your friend's dad is, at best, a dumbass. I'm just gonna go bang my head against a wall now.

In happier news, I took a Human Sexuality class in university and it was the best thing ever. Although gender wasn't fully covered, but considering the fact that it was only a semester long it can be forgiven. Especially considering we covered brief history of sexuality, anatomy (detailed anatomy, not just 'guys have penis, girls have vagina, good luck in life'), STI's (detailed), contraception (all forms), abortion, pregnancy, miscarriage, sex positions, masturbation, consent, homosexuality, sex in later life, and a few other things.

@ CallusedSilk
Sorry, I meant my dad's sex ed teacher, not my friend's dad. It is so fucked up and this all happened before the word 'viral' means what it does now. I'm really glad this shit can be called out on social media now, but it obviously all doesn't.

@ dru is beautiful.
Oh. Still screwed up, but slightly less since the further back in time you go, the worse the rape culture is. Not that we're anywhere near 0 when it comes to rape culture, but yeah.

As a middle schooler who is doing sex education, it was actually fairly decent. We discussed condoms, though only for one day, and there was a little note of "even though I'm telling you not to screw around one of you idiots is gonna screw around anyways so here's how to avoid a baby."

@ Swordsman-Cat-Lover
Did they discuss consent at all?

I remember in my sex-ed class they did that whole thing with the rudolph vagina.
Never thought of Christmas the same.

@ isadora in bloom
The whole thing with the rudolph vagina? You can't just say that statement without explaining it.

Because I have no idea what the hell you're talking about.