Sorry if I offended you. I love music too. I wouldn't say it is my life, but I love to listen to romance and japanese music as much as I can. But you did have a lot of good points in your journal.
I can imagine that it would be frustrating. I'm probably not the ideal person to be giving advice, but just take it day by day. Look to your friends and family for support and I'm sure you will find a way to cope with it. :)