Ponyess / Comments

No problem, and can't wait till yo update

You can easily click Custom layout to fix that.
I don't know how you found that story, it's pretty old, wrote it a while ago and it's not good at all.

"The characters in this story isn't exactly very well developed just yet, are they? There is also the question, as to how much the characters can express, in the scenario, in the chapters I've posted this far. How much can I reveal, in each scene, as they progress? I only have a main character, the rest, at least this far, are 'Walker-On', showing up, but with no real part to play, more of back ground, really? They're require to be seen, but have nothing to add, on their own?"

Maybe to make things easier, above are your most recent questions.
1.) You are correct the story is not developed yet, but neither is the intro. The intro MUST be developed. The intro is what determines the story.
2.) They may be what we call minor characters, however they do show up and they must reflect human characteristics. A normal 9 year old girl probably will not be wondering around without her mother, she will definitely not be wondering around naked, and most certainly would not jump into a lake on a strange farm. Each character must contain human characteristics even a dog, a dog in a story must act like a dog, a cat in a story must act like a cat, etc.

Send me in a private message what your plot diagram for this story is.

Actually I even did the math wrong, I just deleted 44 pages.

In regards to your last comment, that's something you can read yourself writing in a notebook, but when publishing here on mibba, it's being put out for other's to read and that should be your goal. However nobody can clearly read them. This is what I'm referring to. And most stories are about the length I just described.

As for scenes, that is all fine, but again scenes in a play contain just as many details. In the "Phantom of the Opera" during the Don Juan scene, Christine is playing "tag" with the masked tenor. She and those of the audience do not quite know who is under that drape cloak. So much detail is put into that. When however Christine touches her face she realizes the truth. She can feel the half face mask underneath the hood of the costume, her fear is expressed in her facial looks. That fear shows not only the fictional audience but the real audience watching the show who it is, but under that cloak is the Phantom. The phantom being the mad man with a distorted face which he under a half face white mask. He lives and petrifies the theater.

This can all be taken from one scene in a play, as a writer if I were to translate that scene into words, that entire scene would be so long. So many details are in that scene it's unbelievable!

Most play scenes are that way. Right now your "scenes" are almost like puppets. They don't even have another facial expression, only just one. They have stiff movement. That's what your story is, it's a boring puppet show, if you want to write it like scenes, wouldn't you rather write a scene like an action play with real live actors?

The one story I'm currently writing, I had 33 chapters in, I just deleted 11 chapters. My rule is I have 4 Microsoft word pages in each chapter. So 3 times 11, I just deleted 33 pages of hours of work. I did it though to make it better. Writing is all about sacrifices.

Foreshadowing is a good literature tool, however you NEED to have more details on things in the beginning. I would recommend giving the story to somebody to read over first, chapter by chapter and ask them their opinion before you put it up here to be publically read. What I do is I retread each chapter but I put myself in the shoes of readers. I ignore what I know us going to happen and read the chapter. I make sure it makes sense, that each chapter flows one into the other, each chapter flows, each sentence, even each word. If you get good at this, I'll arrive at a conclusion if what I as the reader would expect to happen, this makes for each plot twists, but don't worry about this until you have everything e,se down, particularly the details. What I recommend is restarting this story and I'll gladly help you with this. Restart it putting in the right amount of details. Once this story is completed I'll help train you with any other story of your choice, I'll help train you so you can become a much better writer going from like a beginners level to an intermediate level.

Well that's fine, but you need to give at least enough details so readers have a basic understanding while also catching the readers interest. Not that I'm trying to get you to read my stories, but go ahead and check out the first few chapters of any of my stories, most of my characters I only release some details of the characters, not everything though because character development is a key element in plot development.

Next about the bark, you shouldnt tell me in comment, what you told me should have been in the story!

You don't explain anything is the problem.

Chapter 1- You tell us the character arrives at this orchard. We know she inherited it.

What we DON'T know is enough about the character, we don't know her background. We don't know how she inherited this farm.

You Introduced about needing to hire workers, particularly girls, you never explained why girls

Chapter 2- The character is getting settled in. And she obtained a girl who jumped in a pool of water.

What we DON'T know is why the girl jumped in the pool of water in the first place, why the young girl is naked, and why the main character is turning her into a tree.

Also you explain different rubbers and adding bark(barque as you put it, a European way of spelling it), but we could use more details, explain what the rubber does, what the bark does, what the lens do. You should tell us this.

Chapter 3- You mention fertilizing

We Don't know yet even about this tree and everything.

And you're right, we are all amateur writers here on mibba, however we use mibba to learn and grow upon. It's through other amateur writer's we learn how to write. Hence forth why I commented on your story, every story I read I always leave a comment of criticism. Your story is very, very different and if taken in the correct direction can go from one crazy messed up thought of a crazy messed up person to a crazy messed up though from a creative writer.

In regards about "guy", it can be both girl or boy, I was just referring it as unidentified first character. Though the title may show possession, it does not particularly reveal anything about the main character. It up to you in the story's content to reveal the details of the character.

Also in reference to details and explanation, what I mean is you first off skip around way too much jumping from scene to scene without any explanation on truly what was going on in the last scene. How I would have gone about things, if I think I know what you're saying in this story...
Chapter 1- The un-name main character arrives at the farm. Explain how he/she inherited the farm and why. Talk about the character getting settled in.
Chapter 2- Start to give the readers a tour of the farm as the main character takes a look around, perhaps they reflect on a memory of an older time they were there perhaps as a child. Slowly begin to reveal this farm isn't your typical farm.
Chapter 3- Reveal how the main character went about obtaining their first "crop"(?). By the sounds of it, you're making the girl the tree. Go about explaining why, reveal how this occurs. I doubt also the girl will be calm and relaxed while you turn her into this rubberized tree.

Also in each chapter show some emotions into the characters instead of this dull character.

Another thing I wanted to point out, I don't want to be rude about, I'm just merely going to reveal to you why you don't have a ton of subscribers and why I'm the only one who commented. The story sort of makes you seem like your messed up in the head, no offense. All writer's can be messed up in the head, and great stories can be written from the craziest thoughts and imagination of writer's. Simple stories that reveal this are Shutter Island, Christine, Inception, and many more. Most horror, sci-fi, mystery novels main outline can be the craziest thoughts in the world, stories deprived from the craziest people in the world. However the difference between you and them, they put forth details that lure readers in.

This may not be a horror story(personally I think it should be) here's a simple guide on how to go about things...
How to Write a Horror Story

I could go and on more about how to help improve your story, but I want to make sure you understand this much first before I continue.

Ha I did notice the mermaid story was part of a series. And believe me I read them.

Yes I've found several very interesting. You are a very good writer.

I was confused, most likely, because I haven't read any of your other stories. I'm just waiting to find out what exactly is going on I guess. :)

Thanks, sweets. Yeah, it's been hard. I'll check out some of the new stuff.

I said get rid of because I couldn't find it. But I found it do it's ok :) never mind.

Hey. :) This new layout for the site makes me sad. :( When did it change? And now I can't figure out how to see or edit my profile. Can u help?

Hey. :) This new layout for the site makes me sad. :( When did it change? And now I can't figure out how to see or edit my profile. Can u help?

Thank u, darlin'. I am...not well, but standing tall. I've been going through a bad breakup, & haven't been able to concentrate on writing my stories on here.

Unless I get a warning from the admins, the only reason a story goes down, is if I find a duplicate.
I keep the stories up, even if none will ever read it, and the stories died prematurely.
So far as I know, there is no limit on how many stories I can publish here, or how much space they take on the drive? If I was to hit such a limit, maybe I would consider taking a story down, in order to free the space?
The only other reason, is if I intend to put the story up for sale, and hope to maximize my income, but then the story would have been concluded for weeks, or months first.
(I hope I'm not seen as greedy for it, I may need to take the story down, in order to put it on sale, and I still need to make ends meet.)

Did you get rid of "The Girl Farm"?

No problem. ^_^