Yeah. I just felt bad afterwards, but she was pushing too much and I couldn't control it.
Thanks(: I just have so many ideas, I get comments and other sweet things, and then I abandon it. Now, I have like a ton of fanfic ideas but I'll probably never write them.
You're right. I can't keep doing this to myself. It's just too much on me. Too much on one person.
I know. I snapped at one of my best friends one day and I felt like shit afterwards. Sometimes, I just want to drop off the face of the earth.
It makes me feel frazzled, honestly. I can't even finish a single one-shot. I've written two recently that're up, but that's it. It's just horrible.
My parents probably can't afford it, and they'd think I'd want attention. I think I should wait until I'm sure, and then go on my own. I get my learner's permit next year and the year after that, I get my license. Two years isn't much---I've been waiting a lot longer. Then I can see and everything.
I feel guilty afterwards, but I don't know...my stomach churns and shit when I'm done taking the pills, but at the same time, I feel better knowing that I did it to myself. No one else was hurting me but me. It was easier to pin the blame on me knowing that it was my fault. I shouldn't have done it, but I'm sure I'm going to do it again, no matter how bad. I'll just try not to. That's really all I can do right now. I don't know what's wrong with me, but there's something wrong, I swear.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhh<3
I love you billions. Those were just splendid. Seriously.
I feel like explaining it to you.
Well, one of the reasons I didn't come on was because I just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I just...didn't really care about anything. I was pretty much a dead person walking around, laughing at stupid things and whatnot to keep my mind off of things.
The second thing is that I felt bad that I didn't update because I had readers like you that were really supportive and the less I got on, the better I felt about it. It just didn't make me feel like a failure.
The third reason was because I was scared that I had OCD like my mom. I've inherited a lot of things from her, so it just frightened me. Right now, there's a lot of disorders out there that fit me, and I'm scared I have them. So I never really got on.
The fourth reason was that lately, I've gotten really frustrated and I did something I haven't done since last year. No, it wasn't cutting. I kinda...well, I took a pill overdose. Four instead of two in one hour, but as long as I didn't increase eight over twenty-four hours, I just took them and convinced myself that it was okay. Then I cried to myself and wondered why the hell I was a failure. The last time I took a pill overdose, it was about 13 (three different types, too) in three hours. It scared the shit out of me, and I only told one of my friends about the other two times where I took three instead of two. The 13 one was a while ago and I wasn't going to tell anyone. I was just scared.
I'm really sorry, I am, especially that I'm dumping this on you, but I wanted to tell you.
Thank you so much, Angela. Even though the picture didn't work, it doesn't matter. Seriously, you're such an amazing person even though I've been a bitch and shit.
Awwwh, darlin'<3 I love you so much.
THANK YOU MY LOVE!
Gorsh, I haven't been on in forever. Life's been pissing the hell out of me, and today's the fuckin' worst day of the whole fuckin' year.
So how are you, love?
Beeteedubz, if I had to have a Valentine, it'd totally be you in a no-homo way of course<33333x1000000
www.corruptedlayouts.webs.com, and the html code is different (the one i made) so if you wanna fit it in your background, just comment me back with the layout you want and i'll do it
THANK YOU BBY! ;D
OH AND DID YOU HEAR, I UPDATED SHMAB ;D