vanete. / Comments

Thank you, bby.
my mom is calling my doctor at home, that's the best I can do since I'm at university and in the middle of finals. :C she's really worried because her diabetic friend blacks out when her blood sugar is low and has done things like drive the wrong way in traffic. i'll be staying inside so hopefully that will minimize my chances of accidentally killing myself. XD

thanks, v. :') I don't know how much I'll have to talk, per se... it's a group to help people who've just been released from prison get community support. I'm just definitely not going to be an asset to it... i'm hideously uneducated and inexperienced about so many things compared to other students at my level. I have the good academic performance, but who I am has prevented me from doing much in the way of leadership, internships, volunteer work, or jobs, and I haven't taken the right classes so I'm not properly trained in sociological methods like everyone else at this stage. I have done no work in social justice. I have no friends, experience, or valuable contributions to make. And this guy... has everything. I like him. I want him to like me. And I can't make phone calls, so I can't call him. I can't. And I'm a fucking retard, I swear. I'm sorry for dumping this on you, and I don't expect you to convince me otherwise. nothing can anyways. :( I just needed to vent. I love you so much for always having my back. I'm glad you're going to check with your doctor. my v should be healthy and happy <3

I love you so much, v! I'm sorry I wasn't there for you the other night. I hope you're okay. and please know that no matter what, I'm here, and I will always love you utterly unconditionally, no matter what. <3

You're welcome. It should have more comments tbh.

I see the hint you're dropping there. xD Awesome.

P.S. oh my god, just punch the girl! someone's got to do it! actually, come to think of it, sending her my way for a looooooooooooong lecture on the obesity-hunger paradox and the fantasy of being thin might be more torturous.

i will try not to lecture YOU (lmao, sorry, apparently I'm the lecturing type) so I'll settle for: food =/= fat, you = beautiful, always. <3

1. okay now YOU'RE being too sweet. quit it. :P ooh, getting out of classes is good (especially math! stupid math.)
2. I love that feeling. It makes me nostalgic... it's so rare to find something that profound (for me, at least), but it's incredible when you do! I guess did reread LOTR again in the past, now that I think about, but I haven't been back to it in years. I REALLY want to reread the His Dark Materials books again, though, before any other rereads... I even brought them to uni with me and I still haven't done it. D:< I was too young to understand them fully, especially the third one, when I read them originally, so that calls for a second go!

exactly! I'm still excited about it, but it was kind of a big surprise to be considering it when I had never thought about it before. I was kind of like "...but I never even got to visit!" I'll be moving there without the tourist experience first. XD But I guess that's even more exciting, in a way. :) I actually might end up living there forever, though... that's one of the reasons my advisor was really insistent that I go to University of Maryland or John Jay... since they're in/near government centers, there's a better chance of me getting a job in the criminal justice field there because I'll have (hopefully) made contacts during school/internships. But man, I have noooo idea how it's all going to turn out. anything could happen :'3

awww, thank you. as always, you are a sweetheart. i'm so lucky to know you; I will never forget it. :')
as far as helping goes, you profile comment came at a good time, so you've already met your helping quota for today ;) really, though, talking to you is always a good way to put a smile on my face. <3 and to try and ignore any ridiciculous twitching muscles so I don't GET MAD AND RIP THEM OUT OF MY LEG -glares at leg- maybe now it will stop? :3

I love you too, v.

LIGHTNING FAST COMMENT REPLY! i always feel like a creep in these situations, but i'm procrastinating on the last sentence of my essay and i have no life, so what can i dooo?

1. no such thing as too sweet ;) I hope the induction went okay, although clearly it was not as monumentous as an occasion as I originally thought. X'D
2. LOTR, gah those books actually profoundly changed me/my life/the world when I read them in middle school. I can't describe it at all, but I had honestly never, ever experienced anything like that before (or since, really, I suppose). I should reread them, but I think I'm afraid that it just wouldn't be the same experience and I want to hang on to that first discovery, you know? ahh, thank you for the link! some of those sound really interesting! lmao at their one-liners! I'm particularly amused by "spunky lesbian comes out with a bang."

It could still happen, I AM applying and it's down to who wants me :3 (oh, and money. that too. XD) I would happily meet you in philly! or take you sight-seeing in NYC. I've never been and I never ever wanted to actually LIVE there... just a tourist visit would have been plenty. XD But John Jay has the best criminology program, and it's public so the cost will put me slightly less in debt for the rest of my life, so I may well end up living in Manhattan.

1. asdfghjkl :S so appaaaaarently I may be a little (okay, a lot) behind the times. sorry. people should congratulate you anyways just for being an amazing human being, how's that?
2. tell me some of the highlights on your book list! the one I wanted to read is called (I think) The Psychopath Test... it looked like a nonfiction (but maybe slightly fictional) exploration of the mental health industry, specifically around psychopathy, and it seemed critical of it all, which fits in well with my preconceived beliefs, sooo. XD I don't know WHY there doesn't seem to be a library downtown. obviously there are all the university libraries here, but they probably don't have this book yet.

I KNOW. one of my potential grad schools is in Delaware and you have no idea how much I wanted to go there in hopes of dropping by and creeping on you in person but probably I'll be going to NYC instead.

1. I DEMAND THIS PICTURE. I will be heading immediately over to facebook to creep on it. oh yeeees, you're a smartie who's in NHS! I hope induction goes well and everybody who knows you showers you with praise like I would if I was there :3 you will look totally dashing, even if dressing up is a pain. <3
2. ahhhh, that sounds really good! I'm going to watch the trailer when I get a chance; the cast does look fantastic! :') I'm going to put the book on my list of books to check out, too, in case it's my thing, but I hardly read so I will probably not get to it for a long time anyway. I can't find a library near me anyways, wtf. and I saw a book at the bookstore I'd really like to read, but didn't want to splurge. D:<
you are so adorable, seriously, that made me laugh out loud. :3 I wish I could see it with you... we'd be so excited and yet so clueless.

two things:

1. is tomorrow the day you are being chaplin?
2. what/who is that Tinker, Tailor etc. movie about? because I was with my mom a few weeks ago and I saw a poster and I made a big deal and she had no clue why, and didn't know what it was about either XD But obviously it was because I had heard YOU mention it. a very good cause for excitement even over things I'm totally ignorant about.

extra for your confessions. i'm here if you need me. <3333

no matter WHAT, you could never, ever, ever let me down, so that's one less thing for you to worry about.

I don't know everything that you can/can't do, or what your IQ is, or anything like that, but from what I DO know about you, I know that you've got everything necessary to qualify as brilliant in my book. :') maybe you're not one of the people who things come easy to - god knows I'm not and I wish I was more than anything. it's tempting to correlate that with being smart, but I think there's a difference... they can certainly go together, but from what i've seen, there are brilliant people who have a hard time with things, too. it's horribly unfair, i think, but it doesn't diminish the value of their intelligence any. i struggle with this a lot, and of course it's harder when it comes to myself, but I do believe that things don't have to come easy for you to be smart.

what would i ever do without your immense kindness? thank you from the absolute depths of my heart :'3 you never fail to make me blush and feel completely undeserving. but in a very good, flattered, lucky way, if that makes any sense. <3

and v, you're not stupid, you're NOT. there is no goddamn way in hell. if you are stupid then i have no fucking idea why i even go on living, there really would be no fucking point. i've been in SCHOOLS full of supposedly brilliant people and i think you're one of the smartest i've ever had the privilege to meet. i can't even describe to you the beautiul things i've seen you do with your mind that i can't. i don't say that to put myself down, just to illustrate how in awe i am of you, constantly. I know that horrible feeling of stupidity so, so well and it breaks my heart that you'd ever have to feel it too i doubt either of us is stupid, but I can only speak for you with 100% confidence, and you are the farthest thing from it. <3

you are so incredible. thank you. THANK YOU. i know there is so, so little i can do but if you ever need ANYTHING, just ask. <3

I love you so much, v. when you're eighteen I'll only be twenty-two, and I need you in my life a hell of a lot longer than that.

you're the best, v.
and I've missed you! i get excited when i see you post :')

I was just so happy to see you'd posted! and I really do like the excerpt. i'm kind of a sick soooo...
i mean, if you're not satisfied, you can always try to transform it into something new; that's what i try. even if it goes nowhere in its new form, it's a pretty useful and fun exercise anyways. but I thought it was fascinating. you've got a truly amazing way with words; there's always something fresh I never could have imagined, and I appreciate that so much in writing.

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you are a brilliant genius. fyi.