...Sorry to spam your wall with that quote; I just wanted to give you something to consider to possibly understand Bri a bit more right now. I know it seems like it'd be best for Ava if he let it all alone, but at the same time, from his perspective, that's not what's best for Ava at all.
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- I get why you hate Bri right now, I really do. Hell, I think everyone hates Bri a bit right now. And I get what you mean about how he shouldn't be able to pick Ava so easily over Zacky, since he's supposed to be both of their best friends. I get that. And let me promise you, time this to back in What We Left Unsaid right before the two of them decided to mate with each other, and put Brian standing in between the two of them with one car about to crash into Ava and one about to crash into Zacky, and Brian wouldn't know who to save. He wouldn't dive for Ava first without thinking about it, I promise you. He honestly wouldn't be able to make the decision.
He loves both Zacky and Ava. He considers both of them his best friends. However, he's been in the role of protecting Ava for longer, because while Zack's just been a best friend, Ava's also been like a little sister, one that he feels responsible for. That weighs him a little differently, and while he doesn't love one more than the other, he feels more inclined to protect her because he feels that she needs it more than Zee does.
Yes, Ava and Zacky have both done shitty things, and it's always seemed like Brian is on Ava's side. With the mating thing, he assumed Zacky had forced Ava into it, and when he believed that Zacky had raped Ava, he couldn't help but side with Ava. He tried to check that at the door once he realized how much of a dick he was being, though, and if you remember from that very brief point of time in WWLU, he did get better about it. And then there was Zacky almost killing Ava by almost strangling her, which threw that into chaos again. Yeah, he was pissed and way hateful and completely on Ava's side then, but he was still looking for a way to redeem Zacky. He couldn't believe that his friend could do such a thing (he'd told Ava before that Zacky would never actually hurt her, remember?), and he was still desperate to find a way to forgive him, beneath all of the anger. He told Matt he was. He told Zacky they could work past the almost-strangling thing, because he knew that they could.
But him leaving her there in the explosion? Brian can't get over that. I know, I know, your point is going to be that she didn't die, she only almost died... but that's not what Brian lived through. She died to him. Not almost, did. He buried her. He mourned her, and never got over it. And he put all of his pain and hatred into Zacky, partially because it was the easiest way to deal with the pain, and partially because he honestly hated Zacky. They're not best friends right now. To Brian, Zack doesn't deserve to be treated as one, and it's no longer choosing between two best friends. Zack killed Ava... he did the one thing that Brian never thought he was capable of doing, something so utterly horrible and devastating that the only way it makes sense to Brian is if he was wrong all along about Zee. If they weren't ever actually best friends. Johnny pointed out that he does still care about him in the most basic of levels, but Bri's a wreck. Emotionally, he hates Zacky. Logically, he hates Zacky. But a part of him does care about his wellbeing... he just manages to lock that part away because he can't deal with all of them together.
Yes, he says hateful things when he's angry. Things that even make Matt (pissed as he was) uncomfortable. It's not just Zacky he says them to, remember, as he was pretty up in Matt's face in the last chapter. But he's worst with Zacky, yes. Don't forget that he's a pureblood. He was raised in a world where anger and hatred went hand in hand with saying vicious, awful things. And for all of that indoctrination, Brian has managed to come out of it not having prejudices against mutts and whatnot. But when he's so emotional, so devastated, it's easy to revert back to those kinds of familiar things, it's easy to take comfort in lashing out like that, even if it's not what he truly believes.
I couldn't be Zack either. And don't get me wrong, I don't hate Zack; I don't believe any of the things Bri does about him, because I know what Zee went through, too. I know how devastated and wrecked he was. But knowing that doesn't change Brian's own devastation, you know?
Yeah, Ava's alive. That'll make things better for Brian, but it doesn't just magically make her death seem any less real to him, you know? Like I said, he buried her; it's still real to him. And more importantly, the Ava that's coming back isn't Ava. She doesn't have her memories, and as long as that is true, to Brian, it's going to seem like everything she does is nonconsensual. If she isn't in her right mind, after all, she can't consent. Can't consent to being with Zacky, to forgiving him, to anything. He's... not wrong. I mean, I don't really agree, but I don't think he's wrong to feel that way, either. To him, once again, not only has Zacky killed Ava, but he's using her, he's forcing her to be with him against her will... and worse, he's getting away with it. Matt defended Zacky, and that only made Brian all the more motivated against Zacky, because he feels like everyone should see it the same way he does, and if they don't, then he needs to compensate.
