Nine Twenty-Two / Comments

Best of luck with your new roommates! Hopefully they treat you well. I wish I had some advice to help you but it's looking like you should just go with the headphones idea... Or make the library your second home?

Looking forward to your "Friendship Replacement Process" poem. :P

Hmn I suppose with the argument of bringing a child into the world being cruel could also be debated the other way around. Maybe it's cruel to NOT give that opportunity to a child. But honestly it's not like the world is in need of a greater population and it's not as though we are actively stopping "our children" from existing. They don't exist yet. They're just little clusters of cells etc at the moment. The human struggle has been on going from the time we had to struggle for our survival in the stone age, to psychological struggles, industrial struggles, technological struggles, internal and external, individual and collective. We're always struggling and we will always struggle unless you make an effort to change your perspective and get through it. And it's not impossible. I know plenty of people who are genuinely happy and yeah, they go through hard times like everyone else, but they know how to not let that stop them. They enjoy life, they live their lives. It's us helpless, stupid so-called 'artists' who can't get out of our heads. I'm not trying to be all broody and hipster, 'tragic heroine', bohemian about it. It's an actual sad state of affairs. I wouldn't wish this type of dissatisfaction for life on anyone.

And whoa, you just captured what I was going for in the poem I just posted. That's a frightening coincidence. ANd you're absolutely right. The beauty of the half-nightmare we live in. Poetry in the disaster and tragedy.

I wish I could say I was a morning person. And I'm actually not too horrific about it. The terrible thing for me is physically getting out of bed. But once that's done, once I'm out of the shower, I'm not always too bad.

I wish I had set a timer for when I started typing out a response so I would know for sure. But yeah, it generally takes me a while to write you a long response. If I'm speedy I might get through pretty fast but even then, we might be looking at over an hour at least. Haha, I usually don't take a break or anything thought. :) That's why I often take a few days to send a response because it has to be when I have the time to actually sit down and devote the attention to it. I don't know - I just wouldn't send a quick unthoughtful reply. Still, you're quite good at replying fast. Well done. :)

ONLY two iPads. Seriously guys?!

Oh my god, I struggle so much with the 140 character limit on Twitter. But it's not like I'm actually posting meaningful stuff. They're mostly pointless. I don't know how I've managed to get over 5 followers. As much as we bitch and moan about Mibba - no that's be terrible for it to just go down like that without warning. NOOOO!!!

Oh, I'm pretty sure everyone except the writer found the ending of Inception confusing.

What? 'Flash' is specifically NZ slang? I had no idea!

Yeah you can't even compare NZ to the US on the surveillance front. Have you watched Enemy of the State? Pretty freaky stuff. And you guys even have retina technology and everything. I remember being a bit spooked by it when I was at American airports. I think NZ has certain monitoring over our internet activity as well. And quite recently there was this huge thing where America is using some of their new surveillance technology on NZ as guinea pigs. "Trading freedom for safety" that is surprisingly accurate. Oh we definitely have very little privacy. I'll bet we don't even know half the stuff that they're using on us. o_o

Josh. Seriously. You are FAR FAR FAAAAAAAArR from being the 'worst' writer. Sometimes I get some poetry through you even just through our conversational writing in these messages. Like when you were talking about our half-nightmare lives. Some of that was really poetic.

LOLLIES.

Whoops, I only did upload that poem now so you probably didn't find anything new when you were looking for it! Haha, I do hope your muse returns. :)

P.S. Toothless is a masterpiece of a character. Also I want one. And your man-card is in no way revoked because of your plushy! If anything, it increases my respect for you!! And yeah they really did do quite a great job with the soundtrack. Everything in the film really tied in well and I've heard that the live performances/play of the film are pretty spectacular too. They have these special robots for the dragons - very realistic and everything.

Yes exactly! We’re expected to spend a lot of time independently studying as well and even when courses interest me, sometimes it seems like the most difficult thing in the world to motivate myself to do so. And even while we’re supposed to be studying for a ridiculous amount of time, at the same time we’ve got these massive student loans just building up and are forced to look into getting part-time jobs. Tertiary study is painful. When will it end??!!

Well I suppose that if we want to be optimistic about it - at least as people lose friends, they tend to gain new ones. It’s terrible that it sounds like some sort of replacement, renewal process, but what can you do? Although for some reason, for a long time I’ve been pretty reluctant for any of that to happen.. I make an effort NOT to socialise. It’s the plight of the city-dweller; surrounded by masses, but still alone.

Oh thank god you were being sarcastic. I was worried for a second. That’s nice of you to say - about not being sure if you want kids because of the strain your future wife would have to go through. It’s unfortunate but true that a lot of guys really don’t consider that kind of thing. I haven’t thought about this long and hard and I tend to change my mind a lot, but to be honest, it feels cruel to have to bring more humans into this world and force them to suffer the brutalities of our existence…

God - I am bitter this morning. (It’s 8.20 am in NZ)

YES I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. Seeing 7 year olds wizzing over smart phones and iPads just doesn’t seem right to me. But then at the same time you have to consider that we would have been attached to our walkmans and gameboys back in the day - it makes sense that kids are adapting and advancing with the times. I think I’d piss and moan over not having wifi for a while, but honestly we can do it. We won’t spontaneously combust. We’d get over it and find some other addictive means to procrastinate with.

Haha, of course you would treat the apocalypse like a game. Actually, the way you put it doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Certainly it could be a way to distract ourselves from losing our minds?!! Lol. I look forward to your post apocalyptic short story. How unfortunate for your cause of death to be lack of medication for some basic illness, while the rest of humanity are struggling through tragedy and horror.

Twitter looks a bit like Facebook now. Usually I don’t see the point of Twitter updates because I really only use it from my phone - to see news/celebrity/i don’t know updates or tweet something stupid. So it doesn’t really make a difference when they update their appearance since things don’t really matter in the phone format. Mibba on the other hand… I don’t even know where to start for THEIR updates.

If paradoxes screw with your head, then I can guess that you didn’t particularly enjoy Inception? :P I’m pretty sure I recall the makers of Doctor Who once saying “Never apply logic to Who” - that clears a few things up at least!

Haha, you lot don’t say “flash”? I don’t know if it’s New Zealand slang… maybe it is! You know… to describe something that’s … yeah idk, sleek? State of the art? New? Striking? I’m not really doing a good job with this. lol Let me know when USA embraces it! And yeah, that works perfectly “You have a really flash car”. I suppose it’s used to describe objects… technological objects, but then you wouldn’t describe a person as “flash”. Just gadgets, vehicles … I’m pretty sure you can have a “flash” room. AH I’VE SAID THE WORD FLASH TOO MANY TIMES AND NOW IT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE A REAL WORD.

I do know that the NZ government has decided to install more CCTV cameras around traffic lights to moderate traffic etc. WHICH IS AN OUTCRY because I studied “The Surveillance State” JUST last semester, and CCTV cameras started in the UK as a mechanism for traffic control AND NOW the UK is the leading place with the most CCTV cameras. Apparently, the average person going about his daily life in the city would be caught on 300 different cameras. People call these cameras “security” but it’s getting closer and closer to surveillance. George Orwell definitely wasn’t far off with his predictions.

Okay, I can easily say without even having any evidence that you are in no way one of the worst writers on here. Hello! I’ve read your stuff. And even the stuff that isn’t lyrics or poetry. You have a writers flare. And don’t be ridiculous. There must be countless terrible writers on here who write awful things which are crimes against literature. I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say we’re not THAT bad.

Yeah I know that NZ gets a lot of things like most “free” country in the world or “heaven on earth”. We’re not terrible but we’re also not perfect. Every place has it’s faults and in New Zealand, a lot of our faults are often hidden or overlooked. But by all means, come on over. I’m pretty sure you can find cola candy in any of our corner stores.

More trivia for you! We call what you guys call “candy” - “lollies” here. :D

I appreciate that you appreciate my appreciation. :P I’ve finished another poem, but not too sure if it’s one of my “wow” ones.

P.S. How to Train Your Dragon 2. Haven’t seen it yet but oh my god, the first one was brilliant.

Temporary brain death. Yup. That sounds about right. And I'm on break and all but I'm still freaking out about results. I care so damn much and I WANT so much, but dude, the amount of effort I put in isn't nearly as enough.

Ah yes. Friends are a tricky thing. Which is weird, because they really shouldn't be. I'm sorry to hear that youve been losing so many which seems so improbably because you're such a nice person, but what can you do? I suppose it's a lesson in truth and individuality..? ... We can be all philosophical about it, but that doesn't stop it from hurting.

What's so bad about continuous pregnancy??!!! Oh Josh, Josh, Josh. I hope that was you being sarcastic or else I'm going to have to unleash the feminist wolves on you.

I read a textpost somewhere were a teacher was trying to explain how the British put a tax on sugar but kids just weren't getting it and couldn't understand what was so bad about it. So then she compared it to having restricted wifi or something and then the kids were all like "oh fuck no" "I would probably murder someone".

In the case of an apocalyptic event, there's no doubt - I would never try and survive. I would just accept it and get myself killed in the quickest way possible. What's the point in hanging on? Everything has to end. And I don't think Id be good at the survival thing or have the patience to start again. Just take everything as it comes.

Humans are pretty brutal, yeah (understatement). I suppose it's the downfall that comes with having intellect.

I barely remember the old mibba layout. We might be due for an update but i find that when Facebook or Twitter updates, it's always for the worse - so many we're better off this way.

Hipster paradox? That's too much. Even for me. Haha, if you lvoe that kind of thing then maybe you need to get into Doctor Who. Gotta love all that wibbly wobbly timey wimey jazz. :D

I've only got a smartphone because I only did get a phone recently and it made sense to get a moderately flash one, for convenience, if not anything else. I'm not exactly tech savy but I just like being able to access the internet from my phone. And yup. That's it. Though don't get me started on how bad all this technology is for us - with all the signals and wifi everywhere, not to mention the surveillance society. NO ONE IS SAFE.

Yeah - coke flavoured candies aren't exactly advertised and in great demand or anything here. They just are kind of there. And always have been. You can always find them at confectionery stores, but I'm pretty sure it's just little kids who buy the stuff with their pocket money or whatever. I'm sure you'll find some. And then you can gorge yourself on it and get back to me on how awful they tasted. Or maybe you'll get your chance when you're on tour in NZ. ;)

I think you perhaps should be more worried if you COULD understand what it's like to be a 15 year old girl fantasizing about dating some guy in a band. Though, not gonna lie, some writers (the older ones okay, who have better taste) are actually really incredible writers.

Yeah I remember you once saying something about writing an actual story once. Though I remember we were quite jokey about it and we talked about how we'd never finish anything or whatever. But wow yeah dude !!! - You should absolutely write something, anything! Comics, books, movies!! Maybe just give it a go, if you ever get an idea floating around your mind or something - and then see where it goes. We'll never know how good you are unless you try! I have three unfinished works at the moment and it's depressing as hell and I feel like I'm not allowed to start anything new until I've finished them.

Every time you be amazing and compliment "Reasonable Things" I just have get so delighted. I don't know what I'd ever do if I got more than 3 people say they like my work - I'd be such an easily pleased celebrity haha. For the billionth time on my part too - you have no idea how much I appreciate your appreciation! lol. Maybe now I'll really work on getting my unfinished ones done then! :D

(haha, I was half scared that my comment wouldn't post because it might go over some kind of word limit or something!)

HELLO! I’m back! After about a month of finals during which for the most part I procrastinated and then I died over my procrastination and regretted everything in my life, and then I procrastinated again. But now it’s all over and I’m terrified for my results but I also don’t want to think about any of it so yeah.

Hope that you’ve been doing well all this time! And I know I already babbled in tripped over myself to thank you for your comments on my poems in the other comments section but I’m just going to say THANK YOU over here as well. Because whoa. Really. It truly did mean so much to me. And hey, it was no problem, for commenting on your poem. Unfollows are annoying as they are but that it was your friend makes it worse. But you lose some, you gain some, what can you do, right? And yes omg, you really should be proud. I did honestly like that poem, “A ceremony for goodbye” - like I said. I just love it when things are worded PERFECTLY like that.

Anyway, back to catching up - haha! Ah yes, the sex would be a pro. Although I suppose we have civilization to thank for contraceptives and protection. Sex might be fantastic but being continuously pregnant? Not so much! lol ;)

But yes, I’m pretty sure that there are some studies about us, especially as we live in Western, technological societies, wanting, having the desire to go back to our roots; feeling trapped by all the demand and hecticness of this life. Simplicity is always the sweetest yeah. Back to the good times - it’s all very … I don’t know, makes you feel weirdly homesick… even for something we haven’t necessarily experienced, but just KNOW about. … Ah yes, though you do make a valid point about internet connection. I’m afraid I haven’t reached that level of spiritfulness yet to be content without it, haha.

I don’t think you’re a weirdo at all! You’re right - it’s all incredibly interesting - past life and reincarnation and spirits and deja vu. I mean, it’s all got to mean something right? And I’ll bet that human kind has barely even scratched the surface of all knowledge that exists for this all. We’re so clueless, we all have no idea. There are entire other dimensions that we’re probably unaware of. Whoa yeah, and I think your feelings truly do suit you. Though of course it’s sad. Tragic. The 80s though. What a time to be alive!

We’re all screwed over by the world. There’s no escaping it and everyone who tries becomes self destructive. You either go with the flow or destroy yourself trying to fight it. It’s all a pretty grim picture but hey, no one ever said life would be easy!

It’s nice to be sentimental about some things. Even as we bitch and moan about the world and call each other jerks. Its nice to breathe out a bit every now and then.

Haha, Mibba is fucking awful, but yes I’m glad to talk to you on here. And I like how this is different. It feels different and it honestly feels a lot more special than what things would be like if we talked other ways or something.

Yeah exactly. And with getting to know people - there’s always more. There’s always things that change. Things that even other people don’t see, or they themselves don’t understand of themselves. Learning about another person who is your friend or partner. It’s an experience yeah. And all of a sudden you understand them and you love seeing them do what they love and can’t bare to see them sad and it’s all beautiful and sometimes devastating. Human nature. Thrilling. I don’t understand it at all. I don’t think anyone does. There’s too much to understand.

You’re fine, you don’t need to join a grammar study group haha. If anything, I completely agree. I was nodding enthusiastically throughout your entire 5-line run-on sentence. :D

Haha yes we call it weed here as well. And there we go. It helps SOMETIMES (but take note, not in the long run) and it’s “pretty cool” being out of your head, but at the end of the day in general is kind of dumb. Yup. That’s it. Haha, Josh I’m sorry but I think I know all about your embarrassing drinking habits and everything now - there’s no hiding from me haha!! Haha, meh I’m sure if Mibba even does have a secret police, then it’ll be pretty useless, not to worry. :P

To say that I’ll be super flattered about a mention, is an understatement!

Omg, this makes us hipsters??!! I didn’t even realise! Not entirely sure I would like that label tbh haha. Oh Jesus the telegram? God- there would sooner be a war than that happening. People turn to a mess when Facebook goes down for a few minutes - I don’t think we;ve got much hope! God it’s just us that are weird enough to do the pen pals things. And we’re not even doing it the traditional way since we’re not writing letters haha.

And yes. I’m not going to pretend that I’m not utterly reliant on Google. Even more so now that smartphones are everywhere. I use it for everything - even the stupid things. Like microwave cookies. //sigh// and earlier this morning - removing lint from my black top:.... USING STICKY TAPE. Why didn’t I think of that??!! THANKS GOOGLE.

omg . yes. do it. Do the Dylan-esque hair cut ahh. Haha, you’re going to have to grow it out for some time now!

You guys don’t have cola flavoured gum?? But you’re America! You guys are supposed to have everything! It was such a major thing when I was a kid and yeah I’m pretty sure it’s still a thing now. We even have cola lollipops and all. Hmn. That’s weird. … … Though you’re getting your wisdom teeth! Ouch! You have my apologies!! I hear that it’s incredibly painful god I never want to go through it! Though sticking with chewing gum is a pretty clever idea, yeah.

Mibba Admin is so strange. Actually the entire website is honestly.The home screen kind of makes me cringe with the recs for corny love stories and all. I only use my own page and look at your poems and that’s it haha. (And now I feel like the Mibba Secret Police are finally going to decide to kick my sorry ass off this place lol :P)

And whoa. You’re right. This entire message HAS been incredibly long - even for us haha. Oh well, I enjoy our chats! :)

We were having a discussion on capitalism and society etc in one of my tutorials and i half-jokingly, half-seriously said something about it not being too bad, giving up your iPhone and going to live in a commune. Fuck education and textbooks and jobs and cars. We'll build our own houses and teach our kids, eat what we grow and philosophise about the world, be blissfully ignorant, work on not blowing up the world, and have lots of sex. I didn't say all of this to them, of course, well because I'm almost completely certain that they would never agree.

Humans have went about this entire "progress" thing in entirely the wrong way.

For your sake, I sincerely do hope that you get a good, "stable" job that you DO enjoy, that doesn't make you completely miserable and that you can still be you. I feel like it would be an absolute outcry for the world to screw you over.

Yes, I'm getting sentimental over an internet friendship. Fuck off. :D

I've shared hotel/motel rooms with friends for a few nights when travelling. Cabins with friends when camping. Spent a few night in the same bed as friends a few times! Even shared a little house for a couple of days with some friends - and yeah I get what you mean. Especially without parent/teacher supervision to instruct you, you really get a feel of yourself and a feel of other people you THINK you know, you get to know them better. Staying up late or just cooking together, getting ready together (since we're girls - it can really teach you a lot about a person) Seeing people who always seem to be at their best, at their worst. The people who get up first in the morning and the people who you have to wake up. It's all a lot of fun. :)

Yes you just said it. You didn't sound arrogant at all. I have compulsory tutorials yeah, but haven't bothered joining any study groups because I'm not sure that they would even be productive. It's always just a bunch of students sitting around and feigning ignorance and complaining that they understand nothing. Pretty annoying when you turn up to get a wider range of ideas and discussion, but even when you do contribute, it's rare to get anything helpful in return. Of course, I'm not saying all study groups are like that. I probably just haven't been to the right ones.

Well, one could argue that one ought to be out of one's head every now and then. :D Haha, we've already cemented that reality isn't exactly much of a picnic so maybe being spaced for a while is alright as long as the long term harm doesn't begin to turn catastrophic.

Looking forward to the shout-out then when you come touring to New Zealand. Though it's more likely that I'll find out via the internet or through a friend instead of actually being at your concert, but I'll know it's you. :D Your unintentionally lame shout-out.

This is pretty old fashioned of us, don't you think? Pen pal? Haha, and especially considering the largely opinionated sides of our conversations and the fact that they tend to be SOOOO long. It's a nice bit of the past we're clinging on to.

To have my work even mentioned in the same sentence as Dylan is such a compliment is such a huge thing, I can't even begin to say. I suppose I should work on getting my hair to look as fabulous as his now (I wish). He's the type of idol that guys wanted to be and girls wanted to take home. Even as it's a song, when he's singing, his lyrics have always made me felt like he's telling a story or an experience of his, something that happened the other day, let me just tell you...

Minty poetry, now there's an idea. I get what you mean about favouring mint gum. I remember being a somewhat outcast with my friends because I never really liked cola flavoured gum - gasp!

And omg - you were totally right about that mibba admin thing! It's almost funny but it's also so I don't even know, it seems stupid! I even went back to read the comment on Cult and omg. Especially if she's a 1D fanfic writer then... uhm yeah, no. And I'm a bit confused because hello! Is she just incredibly selective about what she reads or does she just not read much because you have to admit that poetry and song writing especially has been used a great deal for politics and society etc. What better way to express views and reach an audience without boring them with lengthy essays? Though she did say a lot of nice things that are entirely true so there's that, I suppose. And at last it kind of explains the strange bit about them choosing Cult, which yeah I liked and it's a very captivating read, but I've seen a lot of your work and we both know that to choose the BEST would not have been that one - in fact it would be harder because there're so many to pick from!

I actually would find it so hilarious if their system really DID fluke and it took 7 months for that comment to post. :D Oh mibba...

I'd say that although a lot of people may deny it, the entire fucking world operates on Capitalism and so living in society instead of having our own little house in the middle of nowhere with our own vege patch etc to sustain ourselves, we have to spend more than a decade on education and then you're convinced that a university education is necessary so that by the time we're done we've got massive fucking student loans that need paying off so we have to sell ourselves to a job in the economy that we might not even enjoy for the better part of the rest of our lives. It's honestly all so distressing. I get how you feel with what you told your ex-girlfriend. I have a friend who decided to wait a year before getting into uni, as a sort of gap year, but also to explore the world outside school, get some experience, do a few jobs, maybe sit in a few lectures to see if it's for her. It's smart when you think about it. Unless you're absolutely certain about what you want to do with tertiary study, it's always better to think about things first instead of wasting a years worth of money...

What I say is that you're going to live on your own, yeah maybe with your partner (and I don't know, later on kids or a dog, whatever) and so spending study years with family isn't too bad. I was going to move to a university in another city this year and I would have stayed in a dorm or something and while I can't deny that it must be an experience of a lifetime, memories you can't make anywhere else and that you never forget - well the stability of family is something as well. Thanks for doing my laundry, and feeding me and letting me stay here rent-free mum and dad! Even though more often than not they get the feel that I'm just a little shit. :)

I'm sounding all stupid and wise, but yeah well, apparently we should always remember our student years.

Lazy days, sitting around, being unproductive, bad habits - God we're all such a sorry lot. I need to make more geeky friends and form study groups or some shit...

Ah. Sucks with the alcohol. I personally think that drinking is fine - but not so much that you get out of your mind and become someone else, and then regret it the next morning. A beer at the end of the day or some wine with lunch, I don't know, if you're celebrating have a drink or whatever. But I wouldn't have so much to go overboard. My parents used to drink and all but then they just completely gave up alcohol. It didn't suit them and they didn't especially care for the taste. Alcohol, intoxication, it's all pretty interesting to me. Last year I did a study on the Greeks and their different opinions on wine. The Greeks loved wine of course, it was a luxury. But they said 2-3 cups was okay to ease you into the evening and enjoy yourself, praise the Gods, but also to losen your tongue so you could have in-depth discussions, debates and philosophise, lol. But more than that then you became someone else, you lost your nobility, you gave way to your weaker sides that allowed sensual instincts to overcome the intellect etc. I'm rambling. But it's all very interesting!

Haha, I never doubted you, don't worry! I haven't heard much about 1D for a while. But then, it's not as though I follow them closely or anything, so I wouldn't know. Well, when you're famous, I'll be able to brag about knowing you and having indepth conversations and meaningful life discussions to people! Haha, promise that you'll give me a shout out on one of your tours, okay? :D JK.

DON'T EVEN JOSH OF COURSE I TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT, A MAJOR COMPLIMENT. IT STILL MAKES ME GRIN. BOB. DYLAN. AHHH.

I have very vivid memories of writing a great number of poems on the make of math worksheet hand outs. That I never actually truly attempted. Haha. Whoa, I gotta commend you for managing the gum wrapper once, that's a whole new level! Did it add a strawberry (or mint, whatever) flavour to your poem..? ... urgh Sorry, that sounded like it would be an ok joke-ish in my head but apparently not.

Art can't be scheduled and can't be controlled! We are slaves to her whims! (God, I should stop.) I remember reading someone that there urgh, I cna't remember! Just that it was a famous english author and he was driving somewhere and suddenly! he got an amazing idea for something but he didn't have a pen or anything to write it down on so he pulled over his car and wrote on the foggy back windows "staircase". SO it just goes to show!! Sleep and art is always a strange balance, yes I agree. There's no way of winning, is there?

((of course I can write a fucking long-ass essay of a response for YOU but when it comes to uni, I'm completely blank - URGH))

University is endless and draining. I enjoy my courses and don't much mind my readings but then forcing myself to write rigid essays and study for exams kills me. Welcome to the real world, indeed. Would it be so bad if I just worked at a retail shop? I'm going through the motions of the "what's the point?" phase AGAIN. Not exactly helpful when I have the next 2 days- ish to write 3000 words. God help me.

Hope you're settled in at home, or wherever you are now. I can imagine that it must have been a mixture of both relief and remorse to leave your dorm room. Did you sort through your drawer of poems? Time going fast - tell me about it. And you're completely right - uni seems to make things go by twice as fast. I swear I can remember Christmas so vividly. It doesn't seem like it was long ago at all. But the year's half gone. I hate it.

Well no one should be allowed to study on their birthday. Though in my case, I'd very much just appreciate a sleep in and then a lazy movie watching/reading/eating/long shower day. Simple pleasures, is what I say. But then again, going out has it perks. It just never seems appealing to me until I'm actually forced into it. I think you deserve a medal for reading an entire book and writing a paper on it in one day. You have no idea how much I wish I could do that kind of thing. You should definitely be proud of yourself. What is your secret?! I'm struggling through the same thing right now except I keep on doing the most unproductive things and I'm barely getting anywhere. Go you for going drinking. Yeah, it's 21 in the US, right? 18 in NZ - not that that stops people from drinking a few years earlier. Sooooo... did you get smashed? Though, haha, I remember you mentioning of course that you've drunk before. I don't suppose being the big 21 made a difference? I'm a bit afraid to grow up and make a habit of drinking and all because though I don't know a lot about myself, I think that I have a tendency for attachments and bad habits and so once I started I could just imagine myself getting hooked, never stopping, things getting WORSE - -

- - alas, my over-dramatic self strikes again.

Well, what good is a summer if it isn't a lazy one? Though don't even get me started on jobs. Just thinking about student loans is a nightmare. I've told my parents that I'll be paying it off but I should probably be making more of an effort to get started and such. Maybe get a lazy weekday job for the summer? It couldn't hurt...

I don't mind if you pretend to hate my poems but secretly would like them. Are you also a closet One Directioner? :D Out of the two of you, I think it's easy to say that your poems are the ones that would end up on the radio. Especially considering that half of what you write ARE actually songs/lyrics. Ive told you a million times, it takes no effort to read your poems and imagine them as songs, GOOD songs. Haha, and to be honest, I'm fairly sure my poems would only ever go on some sort of ... well I was going to say classic radio station, for old people - but no. Not even that. They're not exactly very cheery, my stuff...

Recording ideas on your phone is a good idea. I remember ages ago I was waiting in my dad's car while he did some shopping and I started writing on the back of a receipt... and yeah, that one later turned out to be "scrunched up paper politics"... or was it policies? I had a bit of indecision about naming that one. Writer's lulls are to be expected but hey, we've talked about this. And well it's your summer break now so you might pick up on things. Or even if you don't, you will sooner or later. Your just a poetic person. You won't lose that. And it's good that you're at least coming up with some decent starting lines. Sometimes that's all you need and then the rest just follows.

Another month gone by. Urgh it was as though as soon as uni resumed everything suddenly became twice as fast and twice as urgent. I'm finding everything interesting yeah but university is also very lonely and it's sometimes so hard to find the motivation to do things that you even enjoy doing as well as these essays that are so fucking important - which I get, but I can't get out of the habit of procrastinating.

I'm glad I said Happy Birthday in advance in my last message because I predicted right about being slack about replying quickly. Don't know if you really did spend your birthday doing your readings (Mexican civilizations? What's that like?) like you said you would, but if you did, man that is the worst. Uni just sucks the fun out of so many things. So you said 4 weeks left... so do you now have a week or so left? Who said you have to celebrate your birthday ON your birth day? Once you're on break - go and do something that will take you away from home for a while and be adventurous and treat yourself and as much as it might seem like a good idea, don't let yourself "relax" - by which we really mean, be lazy around home. Because that's basically all I ever do and I know we're both mopy, bohemian poets, but we still should at least maintain SOME form of livelihood. Well I dunno about me, but as your friend I feel like I should be the optimist to your bitter for as long as it for us to trade places again!

I hope the rest of our lives is actually something to look forward to.

I can't remember the last "new" song I listened to. Haha, are you trying to say you won't like my poems if (for some bizarre reason) they end up on the radio some day? :)

Don't feel like I've written anything noteworthy for a while either...
Though omg I am suffering the exact same thing as you with the unfinished poem bit. Even when I think I'm done, it doesn't feel right and god, an unsatisfied artist is the worst thing to feel ...

I've got mid-semester break for two weeks. Well they call it a break but really it's a time to catch up on our course readings and make a start on the assignments for the second half of semester. Fuck you're right - everything about University is just constant exhaustion.

And whoa you're going to be 21 in a little more than a week! I guess I should wish you Happy Birthday!!!! in advance, considering that I'm always so crap at keeping to schedule with replying to messages. I hope that you do something fun and crazy - shake off the crap of uni and do something amazing. :)

I don't think I'd actually ever actively go out and try to get my stuff published. So it'll either be "discovered" or just fade away once I'm gone. I can't even imagine what my hypothetical future children might make of it if they ever found my stuff .. haha you know, in the year 2044 or whatever. (Math will never be my strong point).

I really prefer the stuff that you write to the stupid, meaningless crap that you hear in music these days. Both your poems and songs are sometimes so exceptional that I really think that you should make an effort to get them out there so others can hear them too. Also, you're not allowed to judge your own writing style because most of the time you'll see faults when I'll look at some of your work and see all that's amazing.

Urgh. I'm struggling at the moment. I have about 5 unfinished poems that are all nearly finished but not quite there and it's just so ...bothersome. urgh

Right now it's 9pm on a Friday and yup, I'm still tired. WHich is a far more depressing thought than I would have originally thought to be. Urgh student life. Soooooo many readings, soooo many essays. Remind me, what's the point of this again? Haha, idk about American uni's being easy or not but I can tell you that me myself, and basically every single other uni student I know or have interacted with procrastinates. I'm fairly sure it's an universal fault, Josh.

Hmn, I suppose it depends on whether or not your parents are the snooping kind... I know my mum can be from time to time. Though I think there's something about people being reluctant to go through a male teenager's riot of a room. Though HAHA not that you're even a teenager anymore! Gosh, 20. When did we all get so ancient?

Haha, my handwriting changes daily - no, not even that. It changes with each lecture, depending on my interest or the pace of the lecturer etc. But yeah, all but a few of my poems are dated which I really appreciate. Even knowing the year is enough to kind of get a bearing on my past, get the feel of things. But again, I really do like how you have all the originals. That's simply the best. Who knows? Maybe it'll be that thing where after you die is when you are discovered and published and praised and studied my scholars and high school students?!! haha/ maybe.

Oh, now I'm quite curious about your mental list of "best poems I haven't made into poems". Tell me more. And it's not like you have to threaten me. If I ever out of some random turn of events get a book then I'll be shoving ALL of my poems into it, not to being Becoming Blind Error. ... OKay though yeah, maybe not the earlier stuff. I'm not going to delete them but yeah they DO kind of embarrass me... :/

It's 9am and I'm tired. I'm pretty sure being 2 weeks in for Uni doesn't mean that I should be feeling this low but urgh - there's just always so much to do and I usually procrastinate what I should be doing and then end up with even more to do. I don't know why I do this to myself.

I love the idea of your drawer filled with poems. It's cool that they're all just sort of in there. Just there, not organised or anything. I have close to know privacy at home so I wouldn't be able to do that. I have scraps here and there - in between books and stuff, but usually once I've finished a poem I type it up so that's where they all are. I feel like keeping the papers like you do is much more personal, much more tangible of who you were when you wrote it. Like you said, memories.

Psychologists; odd but interesting. It'd be weird knowing how to look into everyone else like that... And well then there's Hannibal Lector, haha.

I would write in class during High School because there'd be a lot of opportunities when the teacher was fixing something or we were doing some pointless class. But in Uni, I find that the moment you stop paying attention, you're just losing all this info so there's that. Yeah, same here - I can see already how Uni is going to affect how much I write.

It seems that Becoming Blind Error will remain one of my "greatest hits". haha.

Haha I'm glad you find my technological errors amusing rather than annoying. SIGH - it's a hard life living as me.

Haha, I don't actually think we would eventually become the last Mibba users. Or anyone in fact. Though I suspect that there are and will be loads of people who just stop using mibba but leave their account. Or people who have an account but only come on to read stuff.

Oh - you should make copies of your poems definitely then. Especially considering that mibba isn't exactly reliable! But make copies! The world needs a record of everything that you have written - and espet to use for the book you publish some day! :) I've already got a word document on my computer which have all my poems and on some of them, the day they were written. I just like knowing that it's there and while I basically always use paper or my phone to write things first, I still always then type it up in that document before I post things on here.

For me basically all my cards excluding my high school ids and my library card are in good condition. It's an interesting thing that - the quality of your cards. I wouldn't know what to assume, but I suppose some psychologist would read a whole lot about a persons character from their cards. Haha. Or not.

Yup that's the attitude. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and all that. And ill bet that whenever you do come around and write something, it really will be something special. I'm predicting a bit of a major gap with my writing as I'm starting uni next week and so of course then the dying bit will naturally follow. Lol

Again, thank you so much for what you've said about Becoming Blind Error. I'd say that it was one of my peaks after my lazy holiday slump.

Oh god I am so sorry for spamming Dearest Princess with all my crap! I have no idea how I even managed that! And I couldn't even find a delete comment button! I'm starting to think that maybe it's not Mibba, maybe it's just me being severely technologically challenged. God, how embarrassing!

Haha, you never know! Maybe we'll end up being the last two users on Mibba as everyone else slowly filter into other sites. Lol

I guess you're a better person than me for looking after your ID cards. Though I do treat my credit card as a prized possession since I only got it recently and then my learners lisence is in pretty good condition. Yeah I still have all my ID cards from throughout High School (even the one that I snapped into two pieces) but nah they are hardly in good condition!

Try not to worry too much. I'm sure you'll find a good rhythm soon - especially if you've been in an inspired type of mood lately. Maybe if you are getting so many good ideas you should write them down somewhere and so then when you eventually find the rhythm and flow of things in your head you'll have all of your ideas right there for you. But either way I totally get how frustrating it gets when you can't get around to writing anything good and then you don't want to force anything either. Hang in there - you always pull through and come back with something spectacular!

For a bit I felt like "Becoming Blind Error" had something missing, that it needed a bit more; it felt unfinished. But coming back to it after a week or so and rereading it - yeah I'm damn happy with it too. Don't quite think it's my ultimate favourite of mine / but I am so glad that you liked it so much, honestly.

Okay, first of all I didn't post my comment twice - it was Mibba that fucked up. And then the other day when I came on to post my new poem I also tried to reply to you but whenever I tried to submit my comment Mibba would just freeze up on me so I gave up when it started to look like I might start strangling my screen in frustration. So yeah. FAIL.

I swear Mibba is so ... I don't know - old fashioned. I'll bet that there are loads of other sites that we could use for the same thing and that are better than this one - but to be honest, it's all far too much effort to bother with and I'll most likely just keep my stuff on here or delete it all altogether.

Oh yeah, in High School the teachers were all given their rolls with our names AND ID pictures so to say that it was pretty tragic is an understatement. And then they'd use the same pic for thousands of other things. Like I had this leadership roll thing in High School so they would display our names and ID pics on walls etc. Oh the dread. Haha, just last year I was fiddling with my ID card when suddenly I had a Hulk moment and snapped it in half. And yeah mine was in terrible condition and not because I was also swiping it and stuff like you but because I usually just chucked it alongside my crap in my pencil case as I couldn't be arsed having it in my wallet. I doubt I'll take care of this years one either.

Oh! I'll go check out your new poem right away! Haha, what are you on about? A poem "from the heart" is what counts THE MOST! It's great to hear that you're writing more frequently though. It sounds like you're having a bit of a i don't know...inspired period? idk I've just started a new poem this morning which is nice since I don't think I've had the motivation to write anything for a good couple of weeks - though I still am not sure whether I like this one yet. We'll see...

Why did it post twice?

Yeah I have a couple of friends who apparently have terrible photos as well. It's like a rule of the universe; Thou shalt not have a id photo that is in any shape or form nice-ish. Apart from the fact that I'm stuck with the same horrible picture for five years unless I actually pay for another one - I'm not entirely too bothered. It just means that no one else is ever allowed to look at it. Ever.

DID I LIKE YOUR FIRST POEM IN ALMOST 3 MONTHS? Well you saw my comment, didn't you? Damn Josh, "Dear Freedom" really spoke to me. And what a way to return to your writing! I'm glad that you wrote it the way you did and that you didn't change anything as I feel like others (someone like me) might have tried to put too much into it, tried to say too much, tried too hard. You strike a statement, you're bold and straight forward without all of that annoying fluff and bullshit to cover everything. "The striker strikes the match against the book" - - yeah that was brilliant.

Yeah I have a couple of friends who apparently have terrible photos as well. It's like a rule of the universe; Thou shalt not have a id photo that is in any shape or form nice-ish. Apart from the fact that I'm stuck with the same horrible picture for five years unless I actually pay for another one - I'm not entirely too bothered. It just means that no one else is ever allowed to look at it. Ever.

DID I LIKE YOUR FIRST POEM IN ALMOST 3 MONTHS? Well you saw my comment, didn't you? Damn Josh, "Dear Freedom" really spoke to me. And what a way to return to your writing! I'm glad that you wrote it the way you did and that you didn't change anything as I feel like others (someone like me) might have tried to put too much into it, tried to say too much, tried too hard. You strike a statement, you're bold and straight forward without all of that annoying fluff and bullshit to cover everything. "The striker strikes the match against the book" - - yeah that was brilliant.

I'm actually constantly unsatisfied with my name but I never have enough motivation to come up with a new one. Haha, if you like Love and Longing better than you better watch out or else I might steal Bitter Optimist!!

Storytime with Khyati: I attempted to do some reading yesterday and got a paper-cut. The universe hates me, I swear. Dear christ, don't even get me started on how frustrated I get when I have an unfinished poem. I hate to drag a poem out and keep adding to it that way because then I just miss the entire feel of it and it usually ends half-heartedly.

Well I see you have another poem up so I'll go and have a read after this ... :D

Ah yes Law School. Just now my Uni ID card came in the mail and I've been despairing over my bad picture for the last few minutes. It's horrific. Ohhh Business AND Law? You're quite the clever chap! I would never survive that!