Nine Twenty-Two / Comments

Absolutely. I would say that slipping into a different persona – one that you may not be familiar with or may not have experienced for is actually just another skill that can be categorized under being a good writer. There’s this quote I think that goes something like ‘A writer is not one person writing about many different characters, a writer is many different characters trying to be one person.’ ... Well it was something along the lines of that. You get my point. I guess by using your imagination, you can create anything you want. Haha, putting it like that makes it seem like it is easy to write. Though it probably is for some people. Once I’ve usually finished a piece of work, I’m super proud of it, no matter what because it generally did take some effort on my part to create.

Haha, don’t worry about being paranoid. I’m sure that the mibba stuff either don’t care or are too busy to trouble themselves with going through and keeping tabs on every single account on this website. Besides, we’re not extraordinarily interesting. ... Though on the other hand, you never know... for all we know we could have an avid mibba staff who constantly refreshes our pages and just obsess over our writing and is secretly in love with us! Haha, that’s be something! :D

It’s good to hear that a lot of your friends write and that you all share your stuff. I guess it really boosts your confidence and all as well, which is good. :) Your friend Gwynne sounds terrific though! (hmn if her name is pronounced ‘Gwin’ then it’s probably different to my friend’s because her name, ‘Gwen’ is pronounced so that it rhymes with ‘when’ - - still both are cool names I would say!) Though not to worry. Insecurity and self-doubt is something that all artists are cursed to suffer through, I think. Even when I do think I’ve done a better than usual job on something, I’m still deathly afraid to show anyone my work. We’re all, I also believe, secretly vain about our work. Accepting compliments though will always be the toughest!
(oh and you’re welcome – you don’t have to thank me for commenting on your poems, it’s my pleasure!)

I guess to that we can just say... well any inspiration is good inspiration? I sometimes think it's strange because I've never had or tried to have a relationship with anyone and yet you've read some of my more... relationship poetry. It's weird that sometimes even I write about stuff like that and so for you, who has gone through a tough relationship, struggled and all - well it makes sense that you write about it. Sometimes I'll write something and it'll obviously be aimed at someone - but then I can never explain who. I just posted a poem now 'Sentimentalist's Grenade' - and, well it's a bit of a strange piece of work. I guess it can be interpreted in many different ways. Sometimes I wonder what I therapist or a psychologist would make of my work. Whether or not they would read it and then pass me off as some lunatic or person with mental issues, depression, I don't know. Poetry can be strange in that way.

Oh, I didn't know that the Mibba staff edited our staff. As far as I'm concerned, they've never done anything to my work. Isn't that a bit, I don't know. If it's your work, they shouldn't be changing anything. Especially as what you wrote, "Chelsey Revisited", is more of a sequel, a companion piece. It's understandable if it was something explicit and maybe contained swear words (though I've said 'fuck' on here heaps of times) - but idk, seems wrong that they changed it. Strange. Haha, though I'll look out for you poem "Look at this" and be expecting it to be great. It sounds like a great idea! A bit creepy though, thinking about the Mibba Staff reading over all of our stuff. Does that mean they're reading our conversations? HELLO MIBBA STAFF in that case. Christ, what if we were talking about something private? We should have a go at them throwing a fit. Though then we might end up getting banned from the website or something! Haha

Haha, look at me, I'm just getting flustered at your compliments because I don't know how to reply to them. It's always different when people compliment your work, something that you've created. It somehow just means so much more. None of my friends (or family for different reasons) have actually read any of my poetry. Gwynne - that's a nice name. I've never heard it before. I have a friend named Gwen, but I don't know if they're pronounced the same. Though it sounds like her poetry is interesting. It's nice to read a different style every now and then. Though gore-filled poetry. Not something I've come across recently. She must write some terrific stuff from the way you've described it. If she can provoke a reaction like that from she readers that her stuff must be good. You've said heaps of times how your friends write poetry, or how you've sent some stuff for them to read but I don't know whether or not I want to do that. I guess I'm a bit self-conscience and some of the stuff I've written, haha, they'd probably start looking at me strangely. I don't even know anyone else who writes poetry between my friends. I suspect that 2 of my close friends do write, but they've never said that they do so I can't be sure, it's just a feeling. Maybe I should just confront them. :)

I think I contradict myself often. It's easy to be all optimistic, be positive, maybe inspire someone else, but I hardly have any motivation in my own life. I guess since I'm struggling and I know you're struggling too, well this way I can just hope to help you. It's better if at least one person out of the two of us does achieves something worthwhile.

Again, I'm really sorry to hear about your ex. Wish I could give you a cuddle. It sounds like she... well isn't a very nice person. You've been heatbroken over her for months and I wish I could do something to help. It's hard. I'm sorry. And sometimes you just can't get over things like this. Try to surround yourself with friends, people you trust. Maybe start doing something new. Try fitting in a walk every evening or maybe get into a new TV show. I guess with College and all it gets hard to fit things in. Maybe join a study group? Or maybe having some alone time is just what you need. Maybe this is your time to know yourself better, live alone a bit, not necessarily isolate yourself, but not .. gosh wording this is so difficult - to just get away from things.
I went to check out "False Green" and you've posted 4 poems since then. See, you're doing fine. But oh Josh. I got so sad reading that poem. From what you've told me it sounds like your ex has done nothing but hurt you ever since you two have separated as well as during your time together. I'm no relationship expert but I know you're hurting. Don't let her do that to you, Josh. Just don't. Don't let her "tear away at you".

I can't believe you're saying that you think I'm a better writer than you! I mean, really. I do think you've got a lot of interesting poems and songs that you've written. And you're right about things getting better. Things could always be worse! We can't always just let ourselves get caught up in the downside of things. Move on. Walk with the seasons. If we do manage to keep in touch for as long as it takes us to grow old and own a mortgage and lawnmower then haha, maybe we'll be laughing at our so-called dramatic selves of right now. Who knows...

I think I contradict myself often. It's easy to be all optimistic, be positive, maybe inspire someone else, but I hardly have any motivation in my own life. I guess since I'm struggling and I know you're struggling too, well this way I can just hope to help you. It's better if at least one person out of the two of us does achieves something worthwhile.

Again, I'm really sorry to hear about your ex. Wish I could give you a cuddle. It sounds like she... well isn't a very nice person. You've been heatbroken over her for months and I wish I could do something to help. It's hard. I'm sorry. And sometimes you just can't get over things like this. Try to surround yourself with friends, people you trust. Maybe start doing something new. Try fitting in a walk every evening or maybe get into a new TV show. I guess with College and all it gets hard to fit things in. Maybe join a study group? Or maybe having some alone time is just what you need. Maybe this is your time to know yourself better, live alone a bit, not necessarily isolate yourself, but not .. gosh wording this is so difficult - to just get away from things.
I went to check out "False Green" and you've posted 4 poems since then. See, you're doing fine. But oh Josh. I got so sad reading that poem. From what you've told me it sounds like your ex has done nothing but hurt you ever since you two have separated as well as during your time together. I'm no relationship expert but I know you're hurting. Don't let her do that to you, Josh. Just don't. Don't let her "tear away at you".

I can't believe you're saying that you think I'm a better writer than you! I mean, really. I do think you've got a lot of interesting poems and songs that you've written. And you're right about things getting better. Things could always be worse! We can't always just let ourselves get caught up in the downside of things. Move on. Walk with the seasons. If we do manage to keep in touch for as long as it takes us to grow old and own a mortgage and lawnmower then haha, maybe we'll be laughing at our so-called dramatic selves of right now. Who knows...

Damn. Hope it wasn't too much of a chore reading all of that. My bad.

Sorry for taking so long to reply. I just hadn’t checked my Mibba for a while. No, no don’t apologize for being “negative”. I totally get what you were saying, more than ever now, as this is the year when I really plan for my future. The thought of spending 4 years or so on a degree and then having nothing to show for it really terrifies me as well. What if I can’t find a job? What if I can’t earn a living? What then? It’s so much time spent on studying and I’m sure I’ll make the right choice and study something that interests me. But we never study what we’re passionate about. We don’t study for the sake of learning new knowledge. The world is stupid in that way. I often find myself sitting back and just thinking to myself “urgh, what’s the point?”

Your friend who makes the minecraft videos. I guess we could call him one of them lucky people. He gets to do what he loves, make others happy and earn a decent living, admittedly all the while not putting all of the hard work that the rest of us all have to. It’s hard not to get... I don’t want to say angry, but that’s just it, isn’t it? Putting so much work into something you do and getting maybe something mediocre in return, while someone else hardly makes any effort in something and receives the world in their hands. Don’t worry about sounding jealous, Josh. I understand. It just kind of . . . hurts, I guess. You just find yourself looking at yourself and I don’t know, just questioning your life and questioning what you’ve been doing. I feel like I just keep on repeating myself, but if you’re not hearing it from anyone, at least you’re hearing it from me. Stay optimistic. It’s okay to have days where you’re in a funk and all of the world and it’s inhabitants are clots – but you have to pull through on other days through.

I honestly did like your poem “Apples”. Yeah, family, urgh, I envy those who have it easy. I can never find comfort at home. Haha, we talked about our frustrations with writing ‘happy’ poetry. I still haven’t managed to do that let alone writing actual poetry on a regular basis. You seem to have no trouble with that. I swear you must write at least 3 poems every week. Kudos to you for that! :)

You're welcome! If anything it's good to hear I made you smile, at least!
Yeah I know what you mean. Sometimes there's nothing for it - you just have to tough it out and stop whining. God, growing up sucks, right? I think I preferred it when I didn't have so many responsibilities. Sad to hear you didn't get any holidays. I'm fairly certain that I'll be in the same boat as you this time next year. Here's my attempt at yet another cheery slogan: Short term pain, long term gain. ... ? Haha, anyway, thanks for the Easter wish!

You like Rebecca Black? What has become of the world? I thought she was hilarious, though all of the hate she got was pretty sad.

Oh, back to school already? That sucks. I've got a 5 day weekend (easter) and I've accomplished fuck all. I dunno why I do this to myself. ... Oh man - sounds like you're going through hell with what you've got. It's be worth it in the end! Even if it seems tough right now - which it probably does... But what can you do? Chin up and keep on pushing through! - - Gosh well that sounded like a terrible attempt at a cheery slogan. I should stop. Sorry.

I know. I just liked knowing that I had a copy of everything. Even though a lot of it was really just crap. But in a way I think I'm now more encouraged to write more. The only copies that I have now are the stuff on Mibba - so thank god for that. Yeah I sometimes look back on my other work and get all frustrated when I find I can't write like that any more. I never try to force myself to write anything. Y'know ... I just think you should let whatever comes flow naturally.
Don't apologize about rambling. All of the best people do it. :)
Urgh you're so lucky to be on holiday. I could really do with one right about now. You must feel like there's nothing to do right now but then as soon as you have to start actually working you'll miss this down time. Fun fun fun. Great now Rebecca Black's in my head. Ew. //

It's all fine. I'm just being encouraging I guess. You need to know that someone believes in you so that you can believe in yourself too. Fingers crossed that we'll both be alright. Or better than alright. Haha, if I seem smart over the internet... I don't know. I'll take your word for it. Must count for something.

Outside of our talk about "future stuff" I just plugged my flashdrive into my computer to find out that an entire folder that held all of my documents and assignments from last year and this year - essays, theories, everything important and even the one document where I put all of my poetry and creative writing that I haven't published anywhere - yeah that entire folder went corrupt. Tried everything and there's nothing that I can do now. There's nothing gone that will completely damage me I guess... it just sucks, you know? Eh. I'll be over it soon. Some of it was crap anyway...

How 'bout you, Josh?

I know how you feel. For University next year there's one that I really like in my city and one that I wouldn't mind going to as a last resort - but the University that I actually really want to go to the most is in another city, Wellington; ... I'd say that it'd take 8 hours at the least if I were to drive down from where I'm staying. Yeah so money really is a factor for me too. It'd be great if I could get a Scholarship or something....

Good to hear that you're pretty much sorted job wise - sure you'll do splendidly where ever you go.

Fantastic to hear that you seem to be more confident/determined to move forward it life! Eh, no big deal if you slacked off in the past or whatever. We all go through rough patches. As long as you move on and learn from your mistakes. You're doing good now and that's what matters!

I'm sure you'll do splendidly in Business - as long as you put your mind to it. Pretty sweet that you get to choose out of 2 schools, more options, I suppose... Scary, exciting and stressful - that seems like an accurate summary of adulthood!

I like "Fighting the Gravity". It's a good pen-name. But, y'know, change is always good. Sometimes I hate a name but I just keep it there because I can't think of a better one to replace it with.

Life has been ... going. It's happening. I think I've finally stepped out of my holiday-mode mind set but I still really am not warming to the idea of school work. But it's my last year in High School. I guess I should at least try to make it a good one, right?

And how about you, Josh? Decided what to do with yourself yet? :)

I figured that I'd just check up on you. Knew that you were alive, since I saw you update a little while ago, but you can never be sure, right? It's the start of the year, you're entitled to slump if you want to.

Ah yes, the name change. I just got to the point that for some reason I couldn't look at "I'd Rather Be Flying" without cringing. /shrugs/ :)

Hope that you're still alive and functioning. :)

Exactly. What your English teacher said is exactly correct. Creating creations - it's all great and it's all important. I think of all my poems to hold some merit - even the ones that I don't like so much. I'm still proud of all of them. I grin like a jerk whenever I've finished a good poem. You just feel good, you know? Your poems are perfect - especially for people our age in these modern times/places. The cold hard truth. Telling it how it is. We don't want confusing metaphors and hard to follow language etc. I mean, "Or so I Thought" really touched me. I could understand what you were feeling but at the same time your writing isn't anything trivial that I would write off as anything tacky, lame or worst of all, fake. It was real emotions that were only able to be brought across because it was written well.

Mibba definitely won't get sick of you talking about her when you're writing all of this great poetry. There isn't anything that makes you "less of a writer". There's no rules to writing in the first place. It's all up to you. And also, it's the down times that serve as the best form of inspiration. Not to be negative or anything, but I've never really succeeded in writing anything on the happy side or something that is upbeat. It sounds a bit sad when I say it now...

And of course, before leaving I think I should say, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope you have a great holiday, the next year isn't too far off and well hopefully it'll be a good one for us both! :)

Macklemore - hmmn, I don't listen to a lot of rap music either but that's a really nice quote. You should never regret going into the arts. As artists, we've created new things, poems, songs, music, - things that hadn't existed before, entirely unique, original, our own creations. If that isn't worthwhile, I don't know what is. It doesn't matter what you grow up to do as a career, you'll always always have your music with you, Josh. (I know it's cliched but...) - no one can take it away from you and you don't seem like a person who'll just stop. You have that passion, that drive to strum a melody. It'll stay with you until the day you die. The thing with careers - you should do what you love. My sister, right now, has just finished her first year in Nursing and while at first people said that being a Nurse was stupid, the work was too hard, you had to have long and tiring shifts etc. etc. she still did it. And you know, just this morning, while she was talking about a chat she has with one of the hospitals' patients, she was happy, because no matter what, she's doing what she likes and what interests her. I don't know if I'd be interested in being a Lawyer. I haven't even looked into so much as to what type of lawyer I'd be or what lawyer's even do - I don't know! But teaching - I know I definitely want to teach English and History, I know what teachers do, the interaction, sometimes despite the money problems and such, sometimes... I don't know.

"Master of the metaphor" - haha, that's some pretty decent alliteration! I'm content with my writing right now - the little comments that I get on the poetry that I put up here are enough to get me basking. I still haven't given up on the publishing book bit either. How hard can it be? If you wrote a book, I'd definitely read it! You're poems are better than "pretty good" - a lot of them actually are really heart-felt. People can relate to your poetry.

I'm scared too. Things could so easily go wrong. What if they don't like me? What if I suck at it? What if I can't find a job and if I do will I end up being one of those teachers who the students all hate and never listen to? I've always wanted to be an author. I've only been writing poetry for the last 2-3 years but even in Primary school (you guys call it elementary?) I remember having set in my mind that I wanted to write books. But practicality always wins out. I don't think I'm good enough to stand out and I'm still waiting for the inspiration that'll make the next 'Catcher in the Rye' or 'Perks of Being a Wallflower' It's a shot in the dark. It's sad when you realise that you can't always afford to follow your dreams. The thought that one day, in the future, I might be too busy to take time out to write down my thoughts or create a bit of poem or piece of text. I've told myself that I can still continue my writing. It's not something that we have to give up - you too, with your singing, song writing and guitar playing. Don't ever give up on your music. I'd much rather be good at this (whatever this is) then being good at math. (I'll probably regret this when I'm in my 30s and am struggling to pay the bills) We can enjoy it and share it with those around us. Lord knows we both have written enough poems to publish a book or two! Wishful thinking? Well you're close to starting your adventure! There's no telling what will happen and you never know, you might just find what you're looking for. I'm not going to talk about finals. Urgh. It's all I ever talk about with family and friends these days and of course I'm procrastinating like ever. And yeah, you were my 100th profile comment! Honestly 97% of my profile comments are all from you so ... clicks for Josh? I gave you a mini shout-out on my page none-the-less. It's always refreshing to talk to you. Just going to say "thanks" now since I don't think I ever have. ... Thanks! :)

I'm sure you'll be great with whatever it is that you decide to do. In any case you'll be a terrific business man who also happens to rock at writing songs and poetry. Go wherever your instincts and gut tells you to. I've always personally thought about teaching as a career even though I've dabbled around a bit with thoughts of going into Journalism and then Law (even an author at one point!) but right now I'm pretty set on teaching. Really, it's kind of the idea of teaching and sharing the passion that I have about a subject with others, with students who might be like who I am right now or who I was for the last few years. Inspiring someone, watching them learn, get interested in something - being the one to spark that interest or actually just being there to see them hit that 'A-ha' moment. That's what I'm thinking. And yet, you never know. I'm only 17. I get what you're saying - I have no idea what next year is going to be like. Whether I'll do well in my classes. Even if I go on to be a teacher, who knows if it'll even turn out to be what I expect it to be like. The pay for teaching isn't extraordinary here either - for the last couple of years teachers have been going on strikes about it. But I feel that it'd be enough. I won't be a millionaire, for sure, and I'll probably never get around to getting that house on the beach, but no, it'd be enough. I really do hope you find what suits you best and what you're looking for. And it's really great that you've actually thought things through and that you aspire for the greater things. :) You'll get there Josh. No worries. Life is all just a mystery to me, but we'll get there.

What happened to you being a good influence on me? Don't ENCOURAGE me to cram! :/ Oh John Green's amazing, well I think so. I was really into him early last year - his books are very ... teenager appealing? I don't know, you might think he's awesome or that might just be my inner teenage fangirl that's raging about him. You just get really attached to his characters who coincidently all are these misfits that want to leave their mark on the world. That's why I brought it up. ~ Anyway, your right about leaving a mark on the world. I mean, for me, I'd rather that there was something left of me even after I die. Some kind of footprint to show that I made a difference - however big or small. There's always those stories you're hearing about people's lives being saved when a stranger was nice to them or just smiled to them. The domino effect, what goes around comes around - it all seems so simple when we talk about it. And maybe it is. Maybe being kind, happy and positive is the only thing stopping us but no one is actually doing it because of stupid things like thinking that it won't work or that our actions don't matter... Hmn. ~ What happened to the Teaching thing? I remember it was one of the first things we talked about - both wanting to be teachers! Did you change your mind?