Thank you for the friend invite! I am happy to give your story a look, but I tend to read My Chemical Romance fanfics myself. However, if you want get some feedback while also finding some great stories to read here on Mibba, you should try out the Comment Swap feature we have here on Mibba! It's a great tool!
If you have any questions or need some help with anything, feel free to PM me or any of the site staff! We are all here to help you! (And I personally think we have a GREAT staff!)