September 29th, 2009 at 04:55am
-deep breath-
Okay, so after the dance, Skyler wanted to talk to Blu about me and I didn't know what he talked to her about and then she texted me, she said that he only wanted to be friends and it hurt me because I once again tried really hard to be with him, but it didn't work out and it hurt even more because he didn't say it to my face and I kept blaming myself because I told myself that it never would have started if I hadn't danced with him, but Ciara says he shouldn't have said yes.
Then the next few days, I was kinda upset and bitched at everyone because I was insecure about myself and Blu tried to make me happy, but I refused. During that week, I kept listening to the song "T-Shirt" because that was, well, the song we slow danced to. ): Then the next week, I saw him with this girl names Hanna and she's a bitch that was all over him, thinking he liked her when he actually doesn't, but I still felt jealous and didn't like it while Blu told me that he thought I was ignoring him when I just wasn't able to talk to him because I was afraid it would be awkward again, but then we started talking again and when I went camping for the weekend of Labor Day instead of go to the football game, he left me some voicemails and we talked on the phone which made me happier. Then when we were back in school after that weekend, we hung out, but then Blu told me that he has a cruch on my friend, Ashley and it just hit me in the stomach again that he likes someone that isn't me again and I became sad. AGAIN. It didn't help that I got sick that same day and my nose was stuffed, I was coughing like I was dying, and since I was sick, I avoided Blu because I just wanted to be alone. That pissed her off and then she started IGNORING me and I didn't feel any better and after my other friend made me cheer up, I still didn't get to talk to her, but now we're talking because she apologized, but now Skyler doesn't talk to me at all and I still can't get him off of my mind and I just want to go away from all this stupid high school shit.
Besides, I like someone else. (: