friendscallmebillie / Comments

Well I talked to her today, she said its because she doesn't have a computer to use right now, and shes already not aloud to call me and see me in real life (because of something that happened in the past)

Well she use to pick on me and when I told her I didn't think she was messing around and all she said ok and sorry and since then she didn't really like talking to me much, and I don't really care if she wants to be my friend or not, she hardly talks to me online and there is no way I can see her in person anymore, even if she wanted to.

Nope, I talked to her a few days ago, but she didn't really seem to notice I was gone :P

I have also noticed, this one person who I use to be friends with, if I say "I don't want to be your friend anymore" she doesn't accept it, but its been over 2 months since I have talked to her and she doesn't seem to care, I find that weird.

Don't give me that "you can be whatever you want" bullshit, you can't do something just because you "believe" I am not 7, I know what limits someone has, maybe if you knew me in real life you'd be less willing to help me, people seem to get along with me in person, but in real life they hate me (someone I got along with online, ended up not wanting to be around me after we hung out in person)

Kinda did not get what you said.

fighting spirit is no good with no power.

Well I didn't seem them today.

Well, if they try and get away when I go to look at the license plate, I guess the golf ball will make them stop :P, and since I know a few broken fences in the area covered with bushes and leaves, I could get away through there, but If I see them I will try and get the License #.

Well today, the 8th is my birthday, it was ok till I walked home, some assholes for the 2ed time, called me from their car, said "Fuck you!" "Its not a joke" in public, in front of a store, if I get their license plate #, do you know If I can call the cops?, otherwise I was going to bring a knife and a golf ball with me from now on, so next time I see them, I will throw the golf ball at their car, and if one of them gets out, I will kill them/him, so yeah let me know if I get their license plate # what I can do, because I am not sure if I am allowed to call the cops or not.

Them asking for money ruined the whole thing? I doubt it, and I still don't want to try any religion, a psychiatrist told me to try getting a religion, and none interested me, I am not going to devote my life to some God who won't show himself, or provide even the slightest bit a proof he/she/it is there.

My family use to be christian,but we stopped going to the church and Sunday school because they kept asking for money, and forcing us to give money, my mom didn't want to deal with it anymore, and I have read the bible, looked at other religions, I don't wanna base my entire life on something that I know is a lie, yes I know religion saves people, I mean I would hate people for believing something like religion if not for it saving people, it seems like a lie to me but it saves people so I don't really care for it. Besides I don't like any of the "rules"/"laws" the religions have, I think the only way to know for sure whats real is to die and find out, another plus for me being dead.

(Hope Mibba doesn't screw up before I finish typing this time) I don't have a religion, they all seem like bullcrap, all just have a whole lot of flaws in them, and nothing for proof, just a whole lot of evidence that its all fake. So I just believe what I want to, and if I just try to live for your promise and it doesn't come true, I am thinking I may just snap and kill people, so I don't want to do that, I should die before I harm anyone.

I'm about 1/2 way done...leaning towards 3/4. I think everyone will enjoy it, one of the climaxes comes up in this chapter. I shooould have an update this week :)

I hate thinking about it, that's why, and I know for sure if I had a way to kill myself with no pain or only a second of pain, I would do it, if those other people don't matter, then it doesn't matter if I die, if they don't matter, then I am not being selfish.

lol, yea im definitely having a hard time writing out this story. Either I dont have the time, or I just dont have any inspiration. oh well. At least you;re almost done. I barely even come on this site anymore..too many children and weird things going on around here.

To answer the first question, isn't it selfish for them to want me to live like this, when they don't even talk to me? or say hi? or just yell at me?, Its my life, I should be able to do what I want to do with my life, not just do what other people want me to do, and the second question, there is one thing means something to me, I really don't want to say what it is.

haha yeah.
i've been good, how about you?

btw, what was your question? I must have overlooked it.

Well when I go to school, I have to sit there watching and listening to people having fun being happy, and I walk by my old friend everyday, we use to talk everyday, and now we don't even say hello, its the same for everyone else I know, I log on to an instant messenger and say "Hello, whats up?" and they say "brb" or something and don't come back, they only talk to me when they have a problem or when they are bored and can't find anything else to do or someone to talk to (and yes they have even admitted to that being true) and so I kill myself, I don't care that people get sad, don't see why they would be, I mean just has I am typing this my mom was telling me how bad a person I am (its true she really did) I am ugly, I have no talents, I am not smart, I have no friends, people hate me, I should die, it all goes away, I get out of people's lives and way.