friendscallmebillie / Comments

I don't really care what happens has I get older, not like I am going to talk to more people, or even like the people I have to be around when I am older, and I am not going to be doing what I like, I don't really do anything I like right now, don't even know what job I want when I am older, no clue what so ever, and I am basically on my own money wise, I see myself in a crappy one room apartment, working 40 - 50 hours a week, for shit pay, my entire life until I die. Nothing really to look forward to.

lol popular already? i havnt even wrote anything :S

im tom btw :)

how are you?
xx

Well, you saying my view point will change after school is like when everyone says life gets better, and I keep learning it doesn't, so I do not know if I can believe its better after school. I use to get told my school years are suppose to be the best, and after school you'll want to go back because you had more fun in school, makes me think even more its just going to get worse.

Well, I have to go to collage after high school or else my mom will kick me out of the house, because my dad will stop having to send her child support (she told me this) and I can't get a job this year or next, and I have to hope the places near me are looking for people when I start looking, and I am not a grade or 2 ahead, I am where I should be, and I do do all of my school work, and when I get home not much to do, and I don't have to live for one person, I just need a reason to be alive, and I don't know why you keep saying these 4 years, I have been depressed since the start of middle school, going on now, and all I do is take advice from people, I don't act like someone else, and you don't know what I did, if it was not me who did it I wouldn't be able to look at them (not that I care much for myself) and I don't have anything but my life, so I think I should end it now, "Things can only get better" that's never true, things can always get worse, and I am sorry talking to someone on the internet doesn't help, maybe that's why talking doesn't help me, I have never talked to someone in person (that I wanted to, just people who are paid to talk to me, which makes me feel uncomfortable), and all I can tell you, is the same I tell everyone who tries to help who I know can't, just give up now, I will waste your time, and maybe even make you feel like crap.

haha wow, that was a really long time ago.

To your comment - I am not telling people living with them is horrible, I hardly even talk to my "friends" has it is now, and I have only seen one of them ONCE since I last went to school with them, I go to school with another now, but we don't hang out, she told me I annoy her and make her mad, so I tried to not do what annoyed her and all, but she still felt the same way, and my family if they talk to me, its yelling at me most of the time (not saying its that way all the time) and I do have more then 4 years with them, after high school I gatta go to collage, and even if I go to one out of state, I have to come back to live with my mom till I have the money to get my own place, my family is very poor (yes I know I have a computer, its a piece of shit, and it was real cheap, so I don't wanna hear I have a computer so I must have tons of money) so I can't get a place right after collage, and I will still have bills to pay from loans just so I could go and I am in high school now (to your bit about me not being in high school) and even if I get a drivers license, what am I suppose to drive? and I don't care much for my family, its my friends who I feel guilty for what I did. I can't forgive myself for what I did to one of my friends, and they couldn't forgive me either, I know there are at least 2 people who want me to just die, so what do I have to stay alive for? I have not really had a conversation with anyone in person in over a week, that tells me no one really wants to talk to me, I even skipped school today, just because I didn't wanna be around all those people, seeing them, they are so happy with all their friends, having a good time, only had something like that twice in my life, first time, I got back stabbed by the friend who I hung out with all the time, second time I screwed it up, not everyone can be happy, for one person that is, there is someone who has to suffer, I am tired of trying to get someone to care, to rather hang out with me then someone else, to talk to me other then a time they are bored or have no one else to talk to.

Its a way to say sorry, its a way to make it all stop, its a way to make things easier, its a way to move on, that's why its an option.

I've been both busy and just stuck. I'm almost done though, so definitely this week there'll be an update. Thanks for the journal comment, I'm starting to think that only cool people have scolio...lol.

Still working on the chapter. I think i have like 2 pages done so far though.

lol, I'm sorry for the long wait. But I'm about 1/2 way done :D I think the chapter will make up for the wait though.

Thanks!

Thanx lol
so your names Billie ???????
LOL

lol, cant stop a crack addict. I'm reeeeeaaly trying to get a chapter up, but things keep popping up at school.I'll attempt to have one up within the next week though, im sorry for the long ass wait

Hey my aunt is named billie :) Haha thanks for the poem comment
i think it was about an ex girlfriend probly

yea i understand..

most people don't think at all...

you do get credit for that, because it did start a conversation.
& i think just my comments are lonely, because i delete them. hahah

i'm not lonely.
what gave you that impression?

lol, i think you should get on that too. I suscribed to Breakable ages ago and beautiful, but havent seen too many updates....

lol, glad i 'disconfuzzled' you. Yeah, tre does have a right to be w/ his kids. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

she did actually, but that was with Billie's kid. She got pregnant the day/chapter before Tre find out the truth.