KillLui / Comments

yes, he didn't have connection i guess.
But he did text me about tonight. i'm going to his house for a bonfire.
I'll be meeting his family...
I AM SCARED AS HELLLLLL. D:
Everyone is telling me to be myself, but I don't exactly know who i am yet. WTFFFF> FML FML. o.O

I know it's gotta be fucking hard. :/
I think you should start talking to him though. Like, talk more, become better friends and hopefully he'll fall for you, and you wouldn't be the one doing anything to his girlfriend. then again, wo fucking cares about her. YOU deserve to be happy. YOU YOU YOU. <3

Hahahah Lui, I love you. xD
We'll both be widows if that ever truely happens. ;o
And I see. :/ At least you're thinking better than I would have.
I wouldn't give a shit about her in my opinion. But I understand, and you're not ugly, or whatever you were implying. o.O

Yes, I am in love, Lui. And I'm scared that in the end it
wouldn't have been worth it... He promises he won't hurt me and that he loves me. I wish i had yo number so i could forward you everything he has said to me, <3
I'm just fucking scared, Really scared. And if I talk to him about it... again, I'm scared i'll really lose him. D:

AND WHAT?! WHY?! NO DON'T LET THE WHALES WIN. D:<

I know, I am trying I am.
:/
And that's possible, but still. I get so worried, but I can't help that I'm in love.
D:
X_X

I know, I need to learn how to fucking breathe and not get so paranoid of all of this, but I seriously cannot help it. :/
It's my anxiety taking over and it fucking sucks. :(

tyler and this girl brittany that I'm friends with but not rreally really close with.. Well they had some thing before I guess? They never went out, just flirted a lot and shit, from what I'm told... He posted a video on her wall like, 2 hours ago.. and it was a song from the band that [b]I[/b] introduced him to... Idk if that means anything. The song is Firework (by katy Perry) and shit, and like....

I don't know what the hell to think. i did text him and asked if I could ask him something... but that was like a fucking hour and a half ago... and he hasn't replied. He texts off his ipod since he doesn't have a phone.. Either his ipod died, hhe doesn't have connection/wifi, he's ignoring me, or just too busy...
I hate this feeling i get. and I'm sorry about bothering with you about this, i really really reallyreally really am. But you're one of the FEW people that I trust.

:'(

HEY xD
So, I've got a new Jacob Black story coming out soon.
Check out the summary, does it sound okay? :o

http://stories.mibba.com/read/371159/Down/

haha, YES!
I'm really happy. My friends said they've seen a change in me, too :D
And when he kisses me, OMG, I feel butterfliessss <3
!
lol.

Haha I see.

So! How are you doing? (:

Ohhhh >.<
Lol I see, that makes sense.
I never check my email.
:B
But I always check if stories are updated... on here.
lol.

I activated it.
But I'm confused, what does the activation thingy do?
And how did you know it wasn't activated for me or something?
o.O
And I know, I'm reading it right now! :D

Hello again, lol.
alright, so yeah, she wants to stop.
But she's going to want to stop after Jacob explains to her what happened,
and explain that he was the one who basically saved her life. And she'll start realizing and remembering that the pain she felt the previous night, shee doesn't want to feel that pain anymore.

And then like, Jacob should have a watch on and it should go off and he says that it's a reminder to change the gauze on her chest and put more healing cream on it. And that's when she sees the scars like, across her chest, some of them having stitches because they were deep. And (if you wrote any of that, I'd just put in a flashback of then night before...)

But like i said, you don't have to help, lol.
:X

I don't know why that's not working for you, hahaha.
And okay thank you <3

I'm alright... it was just awkward with Dalton though.

And i don't know if you remember, but with Tyler before, I did tell you that he asked me out that one time, and then right after school, he broke up with me through text because he "didn't want a relationship and it was awkward..."


And he won't reply til like, an hour later, around 5 my time.. Hopefully he [i]will[/i] reply, though.

Thank you.

And today. OMFG. >.>

So the thing with Tyler, we walked to class together - his class is near mine. And like, it got awkward cause I'm shy.. around guys i like, mostly. and so after he left, my friend Kristie came back and told me that he told her that I was shy and it got awkward... :( I felt like shit and almost started crying in class. :T

So I texted Tyler - though he won't get it till he's out of Track. i told him that it hurt that he'd basically call me awkward. And that I was sorry, but I'mm shy around him because I really like him. And I'm afraid that if I open up and be myself, he'll judge me and leave again... :/

As for Dalton... >.> Well My friends don't really like him.. so today we were at lunch waiting to leave, and out of nowhere, they begin to talk loudly and hide me from something. -They were hiding me from dalton. So after they left, him and i talked, he was pissed that like, they'd do that, but who fucking cares... Anyways, he thoughht we were still together, but i told him,: "No, we aren't because I told you before, I need to be single for awhile, I'm a sophomore, I'll have time for relationships later. If you truly loved me you'd understand."

It got a bit awkward, but then he had to go and.... [b]he kissed me. :x[/b]
Yeah, I know.. my friends flipped shit.. But when he kissed me, I felt shakey, a very light feeling in my chest, it wasn't as strong as it USED to be...
I'm not sure if that's a sign or shit..

SORRY, this is venting.. and like, yeah. If you don't want me explaining my shit to you, PLEASE tell me, i don't want to bother you!
<3

Haha that's very true, actually.
Bah, but yeah, I'm gonna stay single, I shouldn't care what Dalton thinks...should I?
:/

I'm already in therapy for just over all general crap..
But I can't open up to my therapist like I could open up to you or anything. :/

But it's okay, I just need someone to at least listen. <3

Oh it's alright, haha.

And.. the two guys that I both like very much.
The first guy is the one Tyler guy that liked me, kissed me and asked me out,
but then at the end of the day broke up with me cause he didn't want a relationship and stuff. Do you remember that?

The other guy is Dalton, my ex - the one who broke up with me to get his grades up and stuff. He's a senior while Tyler is in my grade.. Dalton will be going to College, but it'll be a Kish, a Community college in my town, so I'd be able to see him, I think..

I like them both... Tyler and I talked about being each other's firsts... Idk how the conversation was brought up, but it was, and Idk, dude.. Plus we made a plan that right after college, we were going to take a road trip to gether fro Virginia to California... But I don't know what will and will not happen.

I'm most likely going to California no matter what, after college, unless I move out to California for college - but i'd have no one to be with :'( (Move here PLEASE <3)

But yeah, anyways. I'm having that Whole Twilight love triangle crisis between the two. dalton and I have been arguing.. and I'm not so sure that he cares nor understands the shit I'm going through (medications, therapy, shit). He says he loves me and he cares... but I don't fucking know, dude.
:(

I like them both.. Another problem? When Tyler and i text, it'd not awkward at all, it's fun. But once we're like together in person at school, we both get shy and it's hard to say much..

But it's the opposite with Dalton. When we text, it's awkward as fuck. But when we're together, i mean, I'll be a bit shy, but within minutes we're laughing together and stuff - but I'm still quiet.

FUCK MY LIFE. JUST KILL ME.
I don't want to hurt anyone...

(Sorry, my venting is a curse, I swear D: )

That'd be great :D

And jeez, Lui! Hahaha, don't like, fall over onto the tracks lol.
:P
UGH, but dude I really need someone's advice - aka, YOUR'S.
>.<

:O
TAKE ME WITH YOU <3

Daw, otays, have a good night xD
And OMG, we learned about Rococo stuff in History today, haha :P

Butt, I'm listening to music and getting ready to go to the movies to see [i]Beastly[/i] :D