Honey I'll be Your Heroin - Comments

Wow. I think that was the best thing I've read on here, poem wise. I mean, it's gorgeous, and completely original. I love the line [i]Honey, I'll be your heroin[/i], no I love all the lines.

It's amazing. Loved it!

Like what [b]AmorarEsDeVivir[/b] said, the repetition really stands out here, especially the whole "push pull repeat" (which I loved, btw). It's kind of ironic because the "repeat" can be describing both the actions in the poem and the actual repetition itself, which I found cool. I also love the personification of heroin, like it's a person that's actually controlling you and giving you that rush that you love so much. The lines "I hardly even know her / I trust her with my life" really bring the whole addiction thing into focus.

And then that last line "honey I'll be your heroin"...gahh. Genius xD Again, you really pulled the personification off so well here. Well done!

This is really awesome. I love the repetition. And I don't know if the unexpected rhyme was intentional in the last stanza, but that added a little something. I like random rhymes in otherwise non-rhyming poems. Especially at the end. I think it adds a note of closure.

I'd comment on capturing the essence of addiction, but having never had any addiction I can't really say much on that.

this is really good,!
D:< Gosh damnit, I love the way you write!

Very good, as long as no one is actually doing drugs. I think that there is kind of a dark simplicity to this. Really, really good work.