Unyeilding Time - Comments

The end takes some figuring out but I like this imagery

[b]I danced in the forest with the rhythm of life, Free spirited and ready to travel the footsteps of unknown paths,[/b]

And I like this truth

[b]Halting I knew not what to do,
For the youth seldom can they see,
Which way one should go.[/b]

Over all it is very relatable

Time is one of those complex things to write about and I like this idea, but I'm not sure it goes deep enough for what you want to convey. Try playing around with more symbolism, stronger words, or maybe approach it from a different direction.

That's some serious sh*t. Wow! Great effort. I'm not saying that it's just awesome or crap like that. But it's really deep, yet understandable. It actually reminds me of the old poets. They use to write these type of poems. It's lovely. Keep up writng. You'll ONLY get better. =D