Inhuman (with outro) - Comments

This is pretty deep. The chorus was amazing. This is really good.

First of all thank you or enterwellmy contest. I will PM the winners and post them on the contest forum as well.

"Its proof of what I couldn't keep." That line tied knot in my throat. I would have this on replay if I heard it and cry myself until I start feeling better. Most of the lyrics in here brought back memories most of which were regrets. Only a few songs can do that, so this really speaks to me. Good job and it was really well written. I only found one mistake, "You're lower then the bottom." Its than but who cares this poem is great.

Oh my goodness. If this were actually played, I would totally buy it and put it on my mp3 player.

It’s got a very good feel to it; pretty dark. It really does feel professional, and I can really imagine it playing on the radio or something. You have a talent for this, it appears, and you should definitely keep at it!

It made me sad, but in a good way I suppose. You can tell that you put a lot of work into it, and that it came from your heart, so it’s an epic win in that respect :)

This is really sad, EverRose! And guess what? It's going on my support journal, darn it! I love the emotions you protrayed in this song. I can tell that you really wrote this from your heart. :)

Again really sounds like three days grace to me. I only have one sugestion (If you don't wanna hear it just skip me i just thought you may want help not just "This is great") This line: 'You dug it in deep.' i would write: 'You dug it too deep' but that's just me. Just really minor words that can be added to increase emotiong or make the lines fit together more smoothly rhythmically. In all it was a great song. Want to hear music!

I am so sorry I got to you so late, the thing is.. I left work and don't have a computer at home.. but here I am..

anyways.. I loved it :D it seems like the perfect fit for a rock or metal song :B which totally turned me on (not in the sexual way xD haha) and I can definetly confirm that you have talent :) I liked this very much! It would be so cool to actually put a voice and music to this :D

This is a beautifully written emotional piece. I can only imagine it being set to music. The inner conflict really shows through, and your ability to put so much of yourself into writing is just.... Brilliant. I feel as though I use that word quite often, but I really feel at a loss for words over this piece. Very [b]very[/b] well done!

My jaw dropped. I could image music added to this. Wow, brilliant. I love the talking a back to the person in the stanzas. Then the outro, was really emotional. It almost feels like an argument with yourself. Over all, I loved it.<3

the chorus was amazing!
i loved this!!
i could nearly get the tune in my head!!!1
well done!!!

Damn that was awesome. I absolutely loved the chorus. There was just so much emotion to it, it was amazing. The wording seemed fast paced, almost. Maybe it was all me, but seriously, I was reading it and just had to read faster because there was so much emotion. It seemed like I could feel the emotions in the lyrics. So yeah, amazing. <3

W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L. Loved it truly. It was prefect. Loved the description, it almost made me feel what you were thinking when you wrote this. I can tell you spent a lot of time on this. It is just great, I even had a beat in my head as I -again read or red lol- it. Truly amazing, and wonderful. great job.

In the line 'But I'd never sink further then you.' Do you mean 'than' rather than 'then'?

You are one seriously talented song writer. You don't just write about what seems interesting at the time but, what you actually feel and how you have reacted to the situation. Please write more, I loved it really! <3

I simply loved the line 'I'm stuck in a world of told lies, but they're my own cries!' It is so effective and meaningful!

Wow. Simply amazing. I've always toyed around with songs and never been able to get the rhythm and rhyme just right; you, however, did so while writing such a deep and meaningful piece. I would love to actually hear this. Hit me up if you ever sing it yourself and put it up on youtube or something... I also have to say that I absolutely adored the end.

i really can't even like comprehend how well this is
this is something i would expect from someone much older than you
i mean, this is beautifully well written
it flows wonderfully and the meaning is so.. real
it's very relatable as well, i just... my gosh it's so good
inhuman is also a really good title for it, an eerie kind of thing going on :)
i can't give critique on this because it was literally so good
makes me feel like the biggest amateur around xD
but seriously, keep writing, because I can see someone actually singing this
let me know when you write another please :)

I don't think I've ever said this about anybody's work. But... I am completely, thoroughly, and truly impressed. It's not just that I love it, that it's amazing, but... I'm very impressed. :O
It's so powerful. And there are so many parts that made me stop. Think. Keep reading. Stop again. Think again. Reread. Continue. One part of it especially just... it stood out to me, and I'm not sure why. "Where were the sirens
When my world was collapsing?" I can't put my finger on why that made me pause for so long, why I love that line so much, but it's really great.

The entire poem is. The meaning, the execution, all of it was hauntingly wonderful. I can honestly say that I freaking love this song! Excellent job. :)

Oh my gosh that was amazing. I love it truly. It really made me think about what was being thought well this was being written. Truly beautiful.

This is absolutely beautiful <3 I loved the way the lines flowed together, and how much emotion was put into this.

If you really think of yourself as a monster though, don't. You're not, you're too wonderful to be a monster.

Bravo <3

Oh my, honey. This was brilliant! It sounded like a real, honest-to-gosh song. It's heartbreaking, really, and it's perfect.

Oh man. I almost seriously cried, and the reason being? I could probably 100% relate. Your writing is absolutely amazing and you have a way with words. It flowed so well, you have a great talent here. This is briliant work :) I hope this is something you wanna do some time down the road. Just, you wrote somethin that I could relate to and that made it even more enjoyable than it alreay was. Keep up the amazing work <3

I just completely adored this one! It pretty much broke my heart, but it was amazing.
This line was probably my favorite :[i]Your disguise didn't get you far.
It left me wondering who you really are...[/i]
It just flowed to well, and as another commenter already said there was this sort of harmony in the poem.
I honestly think it's one of the best (that I read) that you've written, and I'm sorry that it's about such a loss. <3
Amazing, amazing job! <3