Beneath Her Smile Lies a Gun - Comments

I've read my fair share of poems that end this way, but I'm happy to say that this one didn't make me want to slam my head against the wall a few thousand times. I'd have to say my favorite lines were the last six. It could make someone looking to end their life realize that it might not be the best option out. Excellent job.

It's a good poem has a nice message but I think you should maybe write one where the girl gets saved and maybe how to have other options besides suicide,

The first stanzas I got that "nails on the chalkboard" feeling. I loved it. xD This seriously deep though. The apology really captured my eye. Then the imagery after was intense. The story in this was well written. You've got amazing talent.

This was well written. Again, I'm not too into the while abuse and dark emo theme but you have written this very well. I'm not into reading poetry much and wouldn't know much about critiquing it, but I think this is perfect the way it is. :)

Wow!!! Thanks for entering this in my contest!!! You can enter up to 3 poems so keep writing!!!!

I loved this, it flowed together. A lot of people can relate to this as well. I think the title is brilliant to explain the poem without giving to much away. I hope you write more.

I loved this.
Every second.
Wow.
I honestly thought I was reading lyrics.
I could imagine this being a song.
very well done.
intense. sad. Painfilled.
Ah-maz-ing!

I think it's horribly sad that I and many other people could relate so well to this and I applaud you for writing this.
It was beautiful and it just hit me so bad that I almost had tears in my eyes.
I'm a bit speechless right now if I'm honest and I just can't think of the right words to express how much this poem is just, amazing.
I usually don't like sad poems all that much but this one was good.

I loved it. Amazing, amazing work., <33

This girl so fragile, and no one understands her or cares. She's tired of the pain and wants to end it all with a bullet. I relate to this girl, I went through things that made me want to end it all too. I almost cried, It's just eye opening how humans suffer in life. I loved it, the way it sets a message inside of my head. How it relates to people. Great Job.

-Pinkly Smooth

Intennnnnnssseeee! But beautifully written! I love it!

wow this is deep i felt the pain but its rly good

This WAS really intense, but very beautiful as well. I could relate to how she felt when you said that she would say to other people, "I'm fine." and would just smile. It's kind of sad, though ;( Awesome poem, though(:

This is a really intense poem. I like it, but it really makes me want to burst out crying. The title should be "Beneath the smile lies a gun" Or something like that! I don't know! I really like this !

I really wish I could help you with a title.
But this makes me think of my poem Faking Smiles.
Except I end on a happier note. because Faking Smiles is my persnal feelings.