April 13th, 2013 at 10:12pm
@ writingismypassion23
Do we have to be a certain age cuz I'm 11 :) I write, severely interesting stuff. :) I have a 'voice' according to my teacher. It's weird because teachers suck!
Here in this Home - Comments
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March 31st, 2013 at 05:42am
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@ writingismypassion23
Welcome <3
March 31st, 2013 at 05:41am -
@ XandraIsAZombieSlaya
I'm like dying right now from you comment. Omg. :DMarch 31st, 2013 at 05:40am -
BEAUTIFUL!!!March 31st, 2013 at 05:27am
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You're such an amazing poet. Sheer talent!March 22nd, 2013 at 06:20pm
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I really like this! I am absolutely terrible with poetry, but I can clearly see that you have a talent for it :) I love all the descriptions you used, and I think poetry is a strong point for you. Very nice work!March 20th, 2013 at 12:24am
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Very beautiful. As someone below me has suggested, I would stick to a single rhyme scheme. Other than that, this poem is about perfection. Keep it up. You're a talented writer.March 17th, 2013 at 02:38am
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Siiigh. You're so great at writing. Keep it up!March 16th, 2013 at 07:54pm
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Also, if I absolutely had to make a suggestion, I would say that perhaps you could commit to a single rhyme scheme for the ends of your stanzas. Some are non-rhyming, some are ABA scheme and some are couplets. You may have done it on purpose, and if so, I might suggest keeping that deliberate chaos theme throughout the piece. While it isn't a huge mistake, it is something that attracts notice. Overall though, it is an exceptional piece. Keep writing!March 16th, 2013 at 04:46pm
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Also, if I absolutely had to make a suggestion, I would say that perhaps you could commit to a single rhyme scheme for the ends of your stanzas. Some are non-rhyming, some are ABA scheme and some are couplets. You may have done it on purpose, and if so, I might suggest keeping that deliberate chaos theme throughout the piece. While it isn't a huge mistake, it is something that attracts notice. Overall though, it is an exceptional piece. Keep writing!March 16th, 2013 at 04:46pm
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Wonderful piece about love, loss, and life. I love your use of repetition within the first lines of every stanza, and your stunning imagery and voice. This is a piece that speaks directly to the heart of the reader, and is terrifically, intimately relatable.March 16th, 2013 at 04:43pm
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Wow this is really good! Love lines 7-8; 25-29 especially. Very creative. Nice piece of work you have here :)March 15th, 2013 at 02:59am
You can hear and feel the passion behind it.
I'm sorry it wasn't uplifting, but I know it's impossible for every situation to be so.
I hope things get better for you soon, but in the meantime, great poem! :)