Lips of Blue - Comments

WOW! ... that's dark ... but its sooooo beautiful, I love it, its powerful and it reaches to the emotions of love, I love how you did point out how most relationships go.
And the 'Oh wait you're dead' bit all-be it dark it has a twisted humour to it :)
all in all well done for a chilling but thoroughly good poem :) A*

This is really amazing! Dark and amazing. I absolutely loved it!

Second line:
Twas a beautiful tale at first, a gift from above.
It should be It was.

I liked how the first four lines describe so beautifully how relationships most of the time start nicely but along the way they change.

The descriptions of the dead loved one as well as the feelings the one being alive had were described nicely and I enjoyed the rhymes in this.

My favorite parts are:

I love your eyes flat, void of all life,
I love that the reaper took you with his scythe.
Don't you see, darling - oh wait, you're dead,
And yet I still see your pretty little head.

The one still breathing seems sarcastic and it gives another aura to this poem, making it all the more like-able. She used to love him but not anymore so she's thankfully death took him away.

and

My life was leaving me and going to you,
Your lips are pink, but as for mine... They are blue.
My last memory on this earth is the fear in your eyes,
Followed by my lifeless body aimed toward the skies.

The person who is alive is dying and the dead one is returning to life, lke the dead person is stealing the life from inside her thanks to the last kiss they shared. The last kiss she wanted to give him for the sake of the beautiful times they shared when they first got together, when the magic was still there and their relationship was like a fairytale.

You truly seem like a published poet.

~Marian.

Second line:
Twas a beautiful tale at first, a gift from above.
It should be It was.

I liked how the first four lines describe so beautifully how relationships most of the time start nicely but along the way they change.

The descriptions of the dead loved one as well as the feelings the one being alive had were described nicely and I enjoyed the rhymes in this.

My favorite parts are:

I love your eyes flat, void of all life,
I love that the reaper took you with his scythe.
Don't you see, darling - oh wait, you're dead,
And yet I still see your pretty little head.

The one still breathing seems sarcastic and it gives another aura to this poem, making it all the more like-able. She used to love him but not anymore so she's thankfully death took him away.

and

My life was leaving me and going to you,
Your lips are pink, but as for mine... They are blue.
My last memory on this earth is the fear in your eyes,
Followed by my lifeless body aimed toward the skies.

The person who is alive is dying and the dead one is returning to life, lke the dead person is stealing the life from inside her thanks to the last kiss they shared. The last kiss she wanted to give him for the sake of the beautiful times they shared when they first got together, when the magic was still there and their relationship was like a fairytale.

You truly seem like a published poet.

~Marian.