You Made Me See - Comments

@ cruciatus.
Thank you :)

I love the rhythm of this, and the word choice is brilliant too. It was very intense, and you have great description of what its like to be in a toxic relationship as well as what its like to battle depression. I can't wait to read more of your poetry, because you're very good at writing it.

I also really like the rhyme scheme; it's very effective, amd works for the poem. The rhythm is also brilliant, and the poem flows really well.

You've done an amazing job of capturing the feelings of someone stuck in an abusive relationship, stuck in a downward spiral of depression. And I love the imagery of the first verse, it's very vivid and intense. Your use of language throughout is wonderful.

@ Lex Luthor
Thanks huni, you're spot on pretty much :)

Normally I don't really care for intense rhyming, but this is just so beautiful that it didn't bother me. I've actually got tears in my eyes, because of how sad this is, of how broken this girl is. The fact that at the end, it just gets to be too much, it's heartbreaking.

The second stanza does makes me pause, though, in a good way. When you're suffering through depression, or trying to pretend that everything is okay, you cling to the fact that you can beat it, that you'll get through it, that you are in control. But then you aren't, and it does feel like you can't escape.

The fifth and sixth stanzas also makes me pause for a second. The fifth because of how much pain there is, and the last one because of the fact it's so hard to accept.

I could be entirely wrong about what this poem is about, but that's my personal take on it. You did a great job. I'mm definitely going to recommend it.