Her Only Wish - Comments

Hello! I'm a judge for the Magazine's contest and have finally gotten round to leaving comments, so I apologise for the wait!

This is really heartbreaking. You tell the struggles of the girl so clearly from her friend's perspective, about how she only had that one wish that continues to be her wish until it's fulfilled. It's agonising to watch someone who you care about suffer in such a way and there is absolutely nothing you can do to help, except just be there as a friend. It could happen to the best of us, ending up in the friend's spot or even the sufferer's spot.

I like how you've structured it because it flows nicely, and I could almost feel the sorrow from the narrator at watching her friend deal with her problems. I think you are great at poems and enjoy reading them when I do!

I'm here as a judge for the Magazine contest!

I really like the way this poem is laid out. It has a slightly different rhythm to it than most things and being a free-verse, I wouldn't even expect to have a semblance of rhythm. It's almost like this is trying to be a verse poem but didn't quite make it and although I'd usually dislike that style of structuring, it really works well here. It has this pull-and-tug in terms of rhythm that is just lovely to read through.

This poem is really heartbreaking, though. I know all-too-well what it's like to be friends with that one person that seems to have never-ending bad luck (I was that kid for a while as well) and to have that one friend is almost like having a lifeline. It definitely seems this way here, that the narrator being the one friend also makes them a lifeline. Despite that, it's always horrible to read about anyone, fictional or not, having to go through struggles such as this one.

I was honestly expecting this poem to take a miracle turn at the end and have the character cured of all the ill-luck that had gone their way. Having it like this, however, makes it all that more realistic and easier to relate to as a reader. Lovely job!

I like this.

You paint the picture of the girl very well with your words. I can almost feel her struggle, trying to make ends meet, supporting her sick mother, and paying off the debts. It is heartbreaking and I'm assuming that the girl mentioned in this poem is still young. Maybe somewhere in her 20's? It is such a heavy burden to be carried by someone so young.

And she has a friend, a lovely friend who understands, who's always there for her. As the person below me said, sometimes just a little care from someone can make all the differences. It will make her stronger. It will make her see that this world is worth the struggle.

This is such an emotional piece written in a simplistic but beautiful way.

Good work, Maria!

This is sad. All I could think of is the burdens this poor woman has, but she has a friend who cares and sometimes that makes all the difference.
Good luck in the contest. =)