PS: great title too.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:46pm
that was very, very good. lovely imagery, it made everything connected. it had very good balance. it depicted pain without getting all "why me!" it said what it had to say.
my favorite part was the ending. it was a great ending. i loved the way it didn't need to resolve itself, or wrap anything up, it just ended.
there were one or two spelling/grammar mistakes. i don't know if they were intended to add to the poem, but if they were, just make sure you have a reason for the mistakes being there. don't change grammar just because it looks cool or whatever. but you could have had a reason, i don't know. just keep that in mind.
overall, good job! well written =)