Can I ask why the first stanza has two lines instead of three, like the rest?
That tends to work in select poetry, not all. Like if it was dialouge, I would understand. But it breaks the flow.
Also, two or three of the poems I've read have had My Chemical Romance song titles instead of your own, which is cool, but I'd like to see if you can come up with a title that's better than their's. It'll be awhile before you can actually post it, since coming up with a title is a total bitch, but as truly great poets say:
A writer's work is never done.
That tends to work in select poetry, not all. Like if it was dialouge, I would understand. But it breaks the flow.
Also, two or three of the poems I've read have had My Chemical Romance song titles instead of your own, which is cool, but I'd like to see if you can come up with a title that's better than their's. It'll be awhile before you can actually post it, since coming up with a title is a total bitch, but as truly great poets say:
A writer's work is never done.