A Marked Heart - Comments

deeeeep
and beautiful
and niftily written
^__^ <33

i like this 1 alot too
but man ur killing me w/ these long poems

oh and also there's meant to be spaces that make it more clearer of two people speaking, i'll modify that now.

originally the argument was in different colours, blue and red but i don't know if 1) you can get colours on here and 2) how to do them even if you could, also don't know how to put things in italics yet so sorry for the confusion.

I love this, and I love your writing style, or the style you used for this poem =].

this is great. i like how it starts out simple, and grows into this intricate story.
and the lines 'this tale is taken from where the gathered crowd saw it themselves' and 'you do not go to a better place/just one that needs you' are fantastic.
my only real complaint would be that the argument between the two people 'if you hadn't fed his mind/He was obsessed, etc.' is a bit confusing at first; maybe make one speaker italics and another regular text? idk, just my opinion.

oooo cool