Admit It In A Foreign Language. - Comments

I enjoyed this piece. The repetition gives it a natural rhythm. Push toward grammar though. It'd make this piece much more enjoyable if you used grammar and punctuation throughout (you started kind of at the beginning but it stopped).

I also think you need to try and make a push toward using REAL things. No vague generalizations - Believe, promise, become like this, all time low, etc. Try to show those things. It'd really improve this piece.

This has to be my favorite.
It's incredibly powerful, for one thing, and I'm diggin' the shit out of it, cuz it totally captures the way I've felt before.
I've honestly felt this sort of hopless before.
And oh, have I questioned myself and God if there are better things than what life can give.
But wow, IDK.
This is just very... wow, it's incredible, and I think you are an insanely gifted poet.

The last few lines have a lot of power behind them.
It's got religious overtones to it without getting on my nerves.
Good work.

Love it!
i love how you wrote it and how it sorta captures you as you read it. nice and smooth.

I really, really, really love this.