That's a really good poem, brother mine. It has a great flow and I like the imagery. Just curious, is that 'u' meant to be a 'you'? Because typing out the word wouldn't disrupt the flow but having it written as 'u' throws the reader off, I'd say.
Also I'd personally remove the 'the' in the sentence 'Why our brains towards the lust do bow' to improve the flow but it's of course up to you.
Also I'd personally remove the 'the' in the sentence 'Why our brains towards the lust do bow' to improve the flow but it's of course up to you.
Overall, it's reallt good, well done.