Things Are Shaping up to Be - Comments

DETAILS DO IT.
Reason one: You KNOW you want to.
Two: It would make one hell of a chapter.
Three: I just like reading stuff like that because im insane 8D
PLEEAASE

DETAILS DO IT.
Reason one: You KNOW you want to.
Two: It would make one hell of a chapter.
Three: I just like reading stuff like that because im insane 8D
PLEEAASE

This story is so frickin good!
Keep up the good work :)

Oh, and I don't hate Jake...But I don't hate Ryan.
Jakes just a dick...in a naive way.
Ryan is way too innocent for the whole situation.
Brendon is kind of stupid.
My opinion. XD

Maybe describe it in nightmares or flashbacks.
But make it abstract.
My opinion.
:]

I don't hate Jake at all. Honestly, I think that's it's all Ryan's fault. He's stupid. : \ Bloody teen hormones and the whole "I'm always right, blah, blah, I know what's best for me" shit.

Anyway, details should be included because it would add to the tension in the story. Also, depending on how it's written, it would be really insightful and help readers get a taste for the whole miasmic side to the events.

I dont know if you should get into the rape next chapter, I think maybe Ryan should think about it or tell someone later on and then you will detail it. But I dunno.
deeetails, but now or later... yeah, whatever.

I have to.. sorry... I hate Jake >_>

Not necessarily go into detail but give the basics and enough information so that we can sympathize with whatever character and really understand what they're feeling. I feel bad for Brendon more than anyone else, really. All he can do is try.

No please don't. I cried just reading the words. Poor Ryan. :(

Yes details.
Not 'cause I'm a sick fuck, because I'm really not, I swear >.< But it'll definitely actually make me pity Ryan a little bit =p

no,you shouldn't go into detail, or I might cry :/
but yay, you updated
and yay, it's amazing :)

i think that ryan should end up telling brendon what happened. not necessarily going into full detail but add bits and pieces in there. like in a dream or something.

No,
you shouldn't,
because I really don't want to go on a killing spree.

oh my goodness that was quick!! XD!!
yes i hate Jake. I don't like him, he's a jerk that needs to rot in the lowest and most dispairing pits of hell. and that's putting it lightly.
Why would Ryan let that happen??!!!! I don't understand why he would let something like that happen to him. It just seems irrational in every sense of the word. Stupid. Poor thing.

Now.
If it's important to the story line then i'd suggest adding, no matter how much it will pain me to read it. But if all we really need to know is that he was date raped then ... it's up to you.

How on earth is Brendon going to react?!!! Oh no!!!!

haha. I hate Jake. with a burning passion. i want him to go and burn in some godforesaken hole in the ground. ...okay maybe not that bad...yet!!!!!!!! We'll see after this stupid party that has Ryan chasing after his "love" Whatever. XP!

Ryan is being annoying. Come on! He's your best friend and maybe you should have thought about the part where he wouldn't interfere if there wasn't a problem!! XPP!!!!!
No. He doesn't know the meaning of love and Brendon is completely right!! XP!!!!!!!!!!!!! If he did then he'd realize that Jake is just using him for whatever reasons he has. Jerk. Not love.
Brendon is smart and Ryan is just being a bitch about the whole thing. Open you eyes and you might see that Brendon is far more than jealous, and he's actually concerned about you. Stupid Jake. XP!
okay, i've said my peace and can be better until the next one where i will shamelessly bag on Jake once again. :)
congratulations on your graduation. :) (hehe, that rhymes; wow i'm in a mood)

I don't like Jake but I have to say Ryan is starting to annoy me too. Brendon is the only one I really care for at the moment. I just want Ryan to realize how silly he's being. I know he's blinded by "love" or whatever but... I just want him to be with Brendon really. But no rush. I still love your writing and this story. :)

you wanted a pointed?
get Brendon to kiss Ryan!

You know, I kind of like how Ryan is turning out to be the one in the story that whines, bitches, and complains about his best friend just because he's trying to look out for Ryan and save him from heartbreak. And, I absolutely love how Ryan is so caught up and blinded by his "love" for Jake that he can't see that he is the one ruining his friendship with Brendon because of his relationship with Jake, and the situation not being the other way around. It is very realistic (and reminds me of my mother...)

As for Jake, he could fall off the face of the planet and into a black hole for all I care. I don't like him. There's something that you foreshadowed in his caricature that I don't like. I don't know what it is exactly, but I don't like it. Maybe it's the fact that he's a bad influence for Ryan. (But like I said, I don't know.)

And as for Brendon, he has a good reason to be acting like a total dick to Ryan. For Christ's sake, his best friend was convinced by his boyfriend to drink and smoke weed. And then the two get caught. (Yeah, definitely screams 'fantastic boyfriend' to me.) But anyways, I like the fact that Brendon is distancing himself from Ryan because of what he's become. Smart move.

So, how's that for critique? I didn't really have any pointers, so I just decided to rant about each character. (And I'm dead serious about the whole Jack-falling-off-the-face-of-the-planet-and-into-a-black-hole thing. You did wonderfully on making his characteristics and personality come to life. But I just don't like him.)

Anyways, I miss talking to you, Ermin! And I can't wait to see what happens next.

Love you, m'dear.
Jordan.

oh m,y christ this is so amazing!!! congrats on the graduation btw :))) I NEEEEEEEDDDD brendon to wake up and smell the fluffy pink unicorns!!!! SOOOOOO IN NARNIA! And Ryan needs to stop being suck a whiney bitch "oh he loooooovvveesssss meeee" oh shut the hell up?! pisses me awfff -.- lol i love tha your taking your time with it tho- good call ;)) cant wait for more!

YAAAY, finally an updateeee :D
Love it! Keep writing ^^
This is one of my favorite Rydon's :3