I Don't Like His Skinny Jeans - Comments

Amazing update
Can't wait to see what you have planned :arms:

It makes me sad that there are rarely any fan fics that are like... Patrick not Pete and not Joe... I haven't come across one for Andy either *shrugs*

This is way better than my first story... haha... keep going it's really good.

I love this story
More soon?

First, I have to agree with the very first comment, this is very good for your first story, much better than other that I have read.

Overall, I like your wrting style. I like the many aspects to the story, and it sort of makes it disorganized in a way that is positive because it mirrors the way that life really is. One thing I would suggest though is to have breaks with words as opposed to using --------. If you just put simple sentances such as, "Later that day I/she was..." You know what I'm saying? When you use stars or dashes everything seems so abrupt and it feels as if you didn't complete your thought.

On the other hand, I like your description of Willy, even if it was unintentional. For example, in the first chapter you wrote, I wasn't ugly, but then again I was no Marilyn Monroe. I really like that because it gave me a picture of her, more than just telling us about her or describing her looks. The fact that she chose Marilyn over any other pretty female in the world sort of shows her taste, you know what I mean. I really loved that.

Another slight problem that I noticed it the dialouge. But the looks of it, you really tried to keep it natural, but at times it seems that you worked it too hard. You focused too much on thinking of 'funny' or 'normal' things to say. You almost lost your voice I think. What I do with dialouge is I actually speak it, every single word. I make sure that they sound okay, and really think them through before going through with them.

I think that overall chapter two was my favorite. The writing was exceptional as well at the describtion. I like how their meeting wasn't comfortable, but it wasn't exceptinally awkward though, that is something that took me a while to master.

I have to go, I am sorry for such a short review, but overally amazing job. Keep up the great work! :arms:

Whoo hoo!
New update=super terrificness.
I can't wait for the next one :)

So... I pretty much love you for writing this :]
Patrick is a beast & this story is amazing.
Yay you for writing a uber radd Patrick story!!!
Update soon pleaseeeee.
^.^

Whoo! Comments! I was about to comment on my own story 'cause I felt lonely....

Would it be awkward to tell you I love you and I love this story and that you need to update this or NO PATRICK FOR YOU.?
XD

This is your first story? This is really good for someone's first story. It's original and well detailed. I seriously hope you update soon. I need to know who killed the moment!