Darkness Surrounding - Comments

love this update soon

I cannot wait until for more (:

I can't wait to see what you're going to do with this story :) <333

Awsome I hope you post again soon

I love this! it's really good! Update! hehe

thats good

Chapter 5:
He took a shower in a house that isn't even his? :shock: Weird. :XD
Wow, that was an intense chapter. I love it!! :mrgreen: :crazy:
You still have grammerical errors, and that is what would keep you in the Errors List for stories here on mibba. If there are a lot, without warning, your story could be deleted. That's what happened to my friend's stories. :shock:
Anyways, I love the way you pour your heart in writing. You write well. I can picture everything and the plot is interesting.
xoXO
zilly

Yay! An update!
Wow, this whole scene was really sad and intense. I started crying too. Poor ghost, I feel a bit bad for him because he had originally tried to help Skye but it was all in vain. It seems he is still trying to help her but takes out his anger on her when she pushes him away. I also see some light in him, for trying to get the real truth of the abuse to the PRS gang.

The only problem I really see is some minor grammar errors. For example:
“After it yelled at me it pushed up against the wall and left deep purple bruise on my arms.” She said completely ignoring my question.

It should be: “After it yelled at me, it pushed up against the wall and left deep purple bruise on my arms,” she said completely ignoring my question.

Also, in earlier chapters, you don't use capitalization, or spelling, for example: “yeah, yeah!”I preplied back.

It should be: “Yeah, yeah!” I replied back.

Also: “hi im ryan buell from prs” he said. I replied back “im augustana skye hennessee but you can call me augustana, skye, ana, or august.”

This should be: “Hi, I'm Ryan Buell from PRS,” he said.
I replied back, “I'm Augustana Skye Hennessee, but you can call me Augustana, Skye, Ana, or August.”

And, one more thing, whenever somebody says something, it should be in a separate paragraph. :cute:

Please, don't hate me, cause I really like your story and want to see it do well. Other than those minor errors, I really love the detail you put in each chapter, and you have the peculiar ability to evoke such emotions, that reduced me to a crying lump of blubber. :XD It's also obvious that you put effort and hard work into each chapter which is something that I really love. :cute: Keep up the good work!

Thanx alot!...yeah the ankle thing was in a dream....but it had nothing to do with PRS....i'll send you an email about my dream....its super weird...i have like the wierdest dreams ever. What blade part?...im trying to think about what you are talking about but im stumped so remind me!!

Wow, up to chapter 4 is where it got intense!
amazing, i really like where the story is going ;) you have some imagination to write about the blade and ankel thing :D
No wonder, the song Welcome To My Life came to my head as Simple Plan's song. And until I got to the bottom, I was right about that. It's still cool that she could play guitar :)
As for some constructive criticism, many of us get lazy on reading and making edits on our works. I know I do sometimes, but it helps to re-read over them to make the story more professional-like. Its mostly punctuation stuff. Like, the capitalization for names of people and the beginning of what someone is saying. Some periods changed to exclamation points or questionmarks and to add some commas when they are needed. There are a few repeated words, for example: my my or and and.
I really enjoyed reading the chapters though :) Really awesome :D

wow, that is such an amazing first chapter!! I could sort of relate our stories together about the abusive stuff and all :mrgreen:
I have actually seen this "ghost" figure a few times in my house. He's like this really dark shadow that is medium in height, has curly-ish hair and I can never see his face at all. Weird, huh?
I'm actually going to subscribe. And that means you should update soon! Now that I've read it, I will be able to recommend it to people when I can. :tehe: