Astronaut. - Comments

Agh. I promised myself that I would catch up, but I don't have enough time to comment...but hell, I'll do it anyway. Chapter six was by far way too amazing to simply read and not comment.

“Jupiter, tell me what’s wrong.” Worry was splashed across his face like a crimson flame.
Ummm. I fucking love this.

“It’s not okay, Noah. It never was. I don’t think it ever will be again.”
GOOD. I know this sounds bad, but I'm glad that Jupiter and Noah are fighting. She needs to kick his ass - he deserves it. I would be angry if Jupiter - the strong, independent girl - took Noah back without a fight. He needs to suffer. And I'm not saying that because I'm mean or I love misery or anything. He actually needs it. It will be healthy for him to realize all of the sadness he put Jupiter through; he needs to experience that, too. Otherwise he'll never learn to love her as much as he could/should.

She realized as she said this that it was true. She wasn’t in love with Noah. She needed him, yes; she had needed him ever since the moment he had walked out the door. She had wanted him every night, thought of him every morning. Her love for him had declined, however, as more and more of her life disintegrated. There were so many things that she had been through since his departure; she wasn’t sure she’d ever be the same. She wasn’t in love with him anymore.
This is sad, but again, I'm sooo glad you put it in here. It provides conflict. Noah and Jupiter aren't going to get back together after he left her for four years - they can't. It's not that easy. And now that Jupiter has fallen out of love, he needs to fight to earn it again.

Ahh. I don't want Noah to go all romantic and try to win Jupiter back by singing to her or something. Ew. That's not him. Again, I know I'm probably a terrible person, but I want them to suffer over it. I love reading a story that can truly break my heart.

SHE SAID FUCKING!
I'd never think she would say that.
Though I'm glad she did.

Your writing is insanely beautiful :]
I love Noah and Jupiter.

i loved chapter 6, so far it's my favorite chapter =)
i feel bad for noah

but i understand jupiter
i can't wait for what comes next

Awe. I love this story.

I honestly like it the way that it is. Maybe a bit more of the past, to give detail.

But with the way you write, I'm just happy to read.

I guess that I would like yo get to know their past a little bit too :D For some reason I see Noah as the the guy that played Sawyer in Lost. o.O Funny.

i love these two last chapters! They we're completely beautiflul! And I watched America's got Talent too. I got chills from listening to them sing last night, they were amazing and so is this story :)

“Worry was splashed across his face like a crimson flame.”

I seriously love every poetic line you do. I wish I could do it too, :cry:.

“.It was like her inner soul was collapsing in a storm of sorrow.”

:cheese: Haven’t I already told you how awesome you are? No? Then I’ll just say it again, you are awesome, Word!Smith.

"Not a single flicker of emotion escaped the cage guarding his soul.."

This made chills run down my spine. It was that good.

I’m not exactly sure what I want you do next. I like being surprised, :XD. So, I’ll just jump along the car ride and wait to see what you have next :D. And I really feel bad for Jupiter, about her being infernal. But not as much as I usually would because the thought of children scares me like heck.

i saw them....they set it up like she'd died and then she turned up fine.....i almost cried....almost....like thought about it....
I think you should have another memory where the three of them are all happy and such.....three meaning her, him, and Laura Joan

'Beauty is a summation of the parts working together in such a way that nothing is needed to be added, taken away or altered'

And honestly, I think this story reflects that.

personally, i think happiness = beauty.
when someone is happy, there's just a glow around that person that makes them stand out and shine;
a smile is always more beautiful than a frown.

love the update.

<3!

Nah, I just changed my username. I don't really like it better, I might change it back. Lol.

Haha! You made a new account?!

AAAAAAAAAAAH. Yeah, I like it. But you already know that. I just want the whole world to know. :] Also, LOOK. IT'S FLEUR. Ahahah.

wow. Amazing ^^

Just about pretty amazing.

I wish you had written a little bit more about the current situation, but this certainly adds more of a backdrop to the story.

Love as usual.

"A fluttering gasp blew past her porcelain lips."

Her porcelain lips :shock:? Seriously. Where do you even get that?

And I’m really happy that Noah said ‘pardon me’ instead of just ‘excuse me’ because I can totally envision him standing there, fretting about Jupiter in his golden skin. You describe him perfectly,too. So props to you .

"She lifted a hand and waved her fingers slowly through the air, like she was trying to catch spider strings."

I fell in love with that line from the moment I read it, like seriously. There were a bunch of lines I loved too but I'm going to be posting the entire chapter If I named each one :D.

And aww, Noah’s so sweet, and he’s already in love with Jupiter :tehe:. And whom is this husband? Hmm?Hmm? We shall know soon, I hope ?
And your descriptions are beautiful, it's like something out of a book. And that's why I love reading this so much.

I'm gonna' stop bothering you and ranting now, haha

I totally forgot to comment this when I got home, then I saw you had added a new chapter :mrgreen:, so I decided I would.

"She knew what it was a second later when he raised his head to the side of the building, lifted his arm, and jerked his hand forward in a classic “throwing pebbles” swoop."

I liked that sentence really much :D. It’s very descriptive and I think it wouldn’t sound as classy if you just said he threw it at the ground or something.

"She had always wanted to paint, to be an artist, “free of the frame” as Mama would say; she also lacked all talent whatsoever."

I liked the phrase ‘free of the frame’ I wish I could rape it, but alas, I cannot :cry:. And I like how you just slipped surreptitiously something about Jupiter here and there, it really adds to this story’s excellence.

Gorgeous.

...That's really the only word I can think of to describe what I just read.