Children of War - Comments

  • Queen-of-Spades

    Queen-of-Spades (100)

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    Just wanted to say, love the story, and it would be great if you started posting chapter again.
    February 5th, 2011 at 10:30pm
  • NerdAlert!

    NerdAlert! (100)

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    this story is so awesome
    June 19th, 2010 at 07:48pm
  • BlackxLovingxBlonde

    BlackxLovingxBlonde (100)

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    Awesome
    Just plain and simple awesome
    July 13th, 2009 at 10:37am
  • ninjapoptart

    ninjapoptart (105)

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    Lol, theres my writing coach! Ha, I'll revise it once I'm done with the new Underworld chapter ;)
    June 22nd, 2009 at 11:53pm
  • pandafyre

    pandafyre (150)

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    Rather than explaining everything in that first part, I suggest that you show that there is no war, or explain it in pieces, rather than lumping it together. Also, I would give a bit more description as to location, and possibly give a description that gives the archbishop more character; i.e. he's OCD or he hates pretty things or something of that nature. But I do love your ideas; utopias are neat to think about. Keep going :)
    June 22nd, 2009 at 10:10pm