Blurry - Comments

That was so descriptive without over ruining it with so many words, if that made sense.
The first chapter, with the..'picture' of that woman and him following then watching her lift up the kettle was saddening, his pain that he felt as if it were real to me.
The second chapter was just 'aww' with the little boy with his daddy, naww.
And the 'gone fishing' note. Nice.

Awh, that made my heart go when you described him reaching out to her.
And the pain being worth the small moment of contact.
Perfect! <3

What I meant by the last two comments is that I haven't read them before, not that I didn't read them now. Which I did x]
Anyhooooo, I love your details. This is extremely poetic, like all of your other works (:
Lovely job! <3

Subscribers! :D

I really love all the detail in this. It's really lovely. :) Gee's my homeboy. lol *subscribes*

Woww. This story is amazing[: Keep them coming! You're a great author. I loved the creative lines you have in this story, it makes me want to keep reading. Nice job[:

Revenge was all he thought of, as he studied him- living his normal life, as if he wasn't a killer. As if he hadn't murdered perfection but two long months ago.

I don't know exactly what about those lines made me concentrate more on the plot of the story. Maybe it's because they said a lot about why Gerard was so angry. Even though that was in the summary, it still speaks to the reader in a way that you're just left there thinking:

Whoever killed "perfection", I'll go after them first.

Honestly, I asked Aaden to do as she did and I'm unendingly appreciative of her for it. I was thinking of taking this down and fixing it up some before reposting it, Aaden convinced me otherwise. She's a bit of a star that one ;)

I appreciate your comment too.
The last chapter will be up sometime in the not too distant future, I hope.
Thank you!

um, whoa? The commenter above me did (no offense chick), kinda over critisize, but I really agree with that comment. This 3-shot is (in my opinion) going quite well. Like Aaden said, you have a few writing errors, but over all, I think it's a very good story-- expressive in imagery, (if all errors were gone) well written, and just plain... great! :)
Can't wait for the... last chapter?
Update soon! :)

I would like to start off by saying that if you do keep this up you may want to proofread it, you have a few grammatical errors and awkward sentences which I will try to point out as I go along.
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Part 1
Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock. The ticking noise reverberated around his head, he had to think.
I love seeing onomatopoeia, I don't think it's used enough. It's really a great way to open a story, I find it very grabbing.

It happened again, he mention her and there she was, his beautiful angel.
That needs to be either "he mentioned" or "he would mention." I love it that he refers to her as his angel, it shows that he thought she was beautiful, and in some sense, saved him.

Gerard walked over to her his eyes glimmering, the tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.
There should be a comma between "her" and "his." Without the comma, the sentence is awkward and doesn't make much sense. The second comma could be a semicolon, if you want it to be.

He couldn't do anything but watch as she screamed in agony, her body writhing on the floor, a mist gathered over her and he closed his eyes tightly seeing the red haze of the inside of his lids. Replaying the blurred scene of her death, over and over.
The imagery here is amazing, it shows the pain and torture associated with her death, for both her and Gerard.

He scanned passed the bushes, the neatly trimmed lawns of his neighbors, his paranoia making him spin around to look behind.
That "passed" should be "past."

Sobs overcome his body as he shook, holding knees to his chest. He felt like a young boy all over again.
Change "overcome" to "overcame," it's in the wrong tense. You may also want to think about putting the word "his" before "knees," otherwise I may wonder whose knees he's holding and think about how incredibly awkward that would look.

Part 2
(I'll calm down with my Nazi skills here)
Something Gerard once took as a curse, now however- a blessing.
This sentence is a little awkward, you may want to try to reword it. I love the contrast you used here, it proves how empty Gerard's life is now and how much it has changed since losing his son, his best friend, etc.

No, he had to priorities.
"He had priorities" or "He had to prioritize."

His hands ran through his short hair, revealing his irritation before he repeated the question the officer had.
The body language you use throughout this is really good. I really liked this, as well as the act of Gerard rubbing his temples. Not a lot of authors explain why a character is doing this type of thing, but you do, and I find that wonderful.
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Overall, I think this is brilliant. Your plot line is unique and rather enticing.
If you continue it, I will be sure to read it. I definitely don't think you should delete it.
This is, in my opinion, one of the best things you have written and it deserves to be completed.

Excellent work, darling. You have a real talent and you showcase it wonderfully here.
[/sorryIwassuchaNazi]

Oh god, I loved this.
It was such a poetic piece, as well as sentimental.
I loved the style you wrote it in as well as the way the words seemed to fit together.
It captures the reader instantly.
I'm glad it was finished when I started reading it otherwise I wouldn't have had the patience to wait for it. >.<

That was amazing,
I loved it to say the least. <3

thank you. (:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I loved the last part "Gone fishing."

One of the best MCR fics I ever read :)

you guys are great.
thanks Abi, that means a lot because you, yourself are incredible (:
I'm so jealous >.<

Oh my! This has to be one of the best MCR stories I have ever read!
You my girl, you have talent.
I can't wait to read the last part.

xoxoxo

this is really good :) dont delete this one! love you xxxx

Brilliant has such a great like rhythm to it. It also captures the reader and makes it very hard to stop when you are interrupted by wee gits on msn great story so far write more soon love you xxx