Devastation - Comments

yay finally get to read 2 more chapters :D

and for some reason the whole bread thingy ma jig

i found that hilarious :D

pretty cool cant wait for more :tehe:

good update! =)
thomas the tank engine ROCKS!

i like it!!
if you want to improve it, thats great. if not, it's still great.
totally up to you
but i like the plot and everything =)
*subscribes*

hey girly
does this count as a comment?

should i be reading an update any time soon? even though i really should be studying for my art exam now

yep since we're both in sydney (same school system) im only over flowing with assignments and tests U_U

but anyway nice nightmare...(no sarcasm attached =P)

hehe

thankyou but i got to many assignments and test to study for right now to got hrough and edit it but ill try when i get time but ill post more anyway im up to chapter 25 i think it was so yes this is going to be a long story

good chapter =]
if you want to improve your writing and maybe more people will read so you dont have to torture us :D here are some basic tips:

when writing dialogue try and add some description to make us the "readers" feel as though we're right there watching whats going on yeah?

like an example from your current chapter would be (the stuff underlined):

“Hey I just realized something” i spoke up, glancing towards him

try and use easy stuff like that because it lets us keep track of you know the...atomsphere if thats how you can say it lol of whats going on whos looking at who
ya know

and that should make your chapters fantasmastastic <<< yes im aware thats like the most effed up word ever created but you get my drift

so keep them coming
and if you want more improvement
just ask :D

:tehe:

I COMMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!xoxo

Ok. People please tell me how I can improve. I would like to know if you like the length of the chapters, because I can make them longer if you want, because I'm almost finished the whole story on a word doccument on my computer. And there is always going to be more, until I say, so please don't ask.

-does a dance-

more??xoxo

ooo first comment =]

an evil smile aye

lmaoo like the one billie has hahahahahaha i can so picture that :D

i hope you get 2 more comments soon
so you can post the next chapter up :)

<3
xxx

finally lol thats it im going to post comments on here more then 3 times to keep these chapters coming :D

good chapter
what does the word 'signed' mean, like the way you used it confused me because i only know one meaning and thats to write your signature for example

loved it and more soon

xox

lol!xoxo

I need to see 3 comments before I update again.
Should I make the chapters longer? Because I can if you want me too.

clarinet.. psh, trumpets are more hardcore XDDD

lol, more soon???xoxo

lmao wow all three of them at the airport

and i was wrong it wasnt billie it was actually tre

its funny how quick u update i love it

i wish i could update this quick

its awesome keep going

:D

bahahaa sucked in billie

serves him right :D

i wouldve probably done the same

cool more soon luvyy

Lmao
She kicked him.
More soon????

LoL!! DON'T KICK BILLIE JOE!!!

xD

more soon?xoxo