This is really a cool idea for a story. The way you write, you can really connect with the characters and feel a part of the story. Please continue when you can, it's a lot of fun to read. :]
I knew I looked an eyesore - you forgot to put "like" in this sentence.
Then end was a tad confusing since you switched the characters, you might want to do something about that. Maybe a page divider or just the person's name before the change...
Your writing is fantastic, I'm really glad I clicked on this. Please continue this. I've only read the first chapter, but I plan to read more. I'm subscribing, keep on writing. =)
I BET LORRAINE TURNED INTO A BIRD! O_O