This is my first review in a while ... let me know if I missed commenting on anything that you'd like to know about.
First of all, I like the layout and the summary. The layout is simple and classy, very easy-to-read, and the summary is to the point and is a good outline without giving much away. This gives a good first impression. Brownie points to you.
The chapter is very interesting and well-worded. It was a perfect introductory chapter, not giving too many details that the reader couldn't absorb it, but enough to give background information and a nice set-up. It intrigues me. You definitely know how to start a story. For example,
He wasn’t in control. For the first time in his life, Dylan Ashford wasn’t in control. He didn’t have a say. He didn’t even have the right to argue.
The first line. It's thought-provoking and open to the imagination. Even more brownie points to you. It is, overall, a very good first chapter.
Now, I can't spend all my time praising you. In fact, there isn't much to criticise, but I'll see what I can do. Hmm ... there's the hyphens. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think when using a hyphen in placement of a word (i.e. "He splashed cold water on his face - it was nearing forty degreesinside.) then there should be a space on either side. I think in the second line at the very end it says 'decision- their decision' when it should be 'decision - their decision'. A very minute error (if I'm even right), but as I said, I can't find much wrong with it. Another hyphen issue ... some of the words should be hyphenated, such as 'jail like', 'orange skinned', 'white haired' and 'smoke filled'.
That's it. That's all I've got. Other than those teeny-tiney hyphen issues, it's great. The following chapters should be very interesting. I'll be looking out for them.
This is my first review in a while ... let me know if I missed commenting on anything that you'd like to know about.
First of all, I like the layout and the summary. The layout is simple and classy, very easy-to-read, and the summary is to the point and is a good outline without giving much away. This gives a good first impression. Brownie points to you.
The chapter is very interesting and well-worded. It was a perfect introductory chapter, not giving too many details that the reader couldn't absorb it, but enough to give background information and a nice set-up. It intrigues me. You definitely know how to start a story. For example,
He wasn’t in control. For the first time in his life, Dylan Ashford wasn’t in control. He didn’t have a say. He didn’t even have the right to argue.
The first line. It's thought-provoking and open to the imagination. Even more brownie points to you. It is, overall, a very good first chapter.
Now, I can't spend all my time praising you. In fact, there isn't much to criticise, but I'll see what I can do. Hmm ... there's the hyphens. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think when using a hyphen in placement of a word (i.e. "He splashed cold water on his face - it was nearing forty degreesinside.) then there should be a space on either side. I think in the second line at the very end it says 'decision- their decision' when it should be 'decision - their decision'. A very minute error (if I'm even right), but as I said, I can't find much wrong with it. Another hyphen issue ... some of the words should be hyphenated, such as 'jail like', 'orange skinned', 'white haired' and 'smoke filled'.
That's it. That's all I've got. Other than those teeny-tiney hyphen issues, it's great. The following chapters should be very interesting. I'll be looking out for them.