Amazing, Because It Is. - Comments

Wow, this story was so original, I havent read one single ATL story that was about a ghost. Your story was amazing, i loved it so much. you are a very talented writer(:

Wow, this was amazing, the ending was genius, the end was heartbreaking. Thanks For Entering My Competion x

I cant remember how I found this, but I am truley glad I did.
You had me crying at the end, but I'm not going to hold that against you. :)
Thank you, for putting the time and effort into this, it has truley made my day.
I am sorry for your loss, I have never lost someone close to me so I dont know what its like, but I can imagine how painful it would be.
Again thank you, as the title says 'Amazing; Because it is.'

A friend suggested this to me, and oh my god i'm so glad she did. This was absolutely incredible.
I was legit crying at the end of it. It was absolutely heartbreaking.
And very original as well. Nicely done.

Published that without my last bit - overall really beautiful and touching! Nice work and good luck with the contest you entered it in - the greatest thing you've written - that's how I came across it.

I felt a little unenthusiastic about your introduction - the whole 'this is not a normal cliched story' type bit. Generally people say that and then fade into cliches within the first page. But it began really well, and continued so, you sincerely surprised me.
I still think there's room for improvement, but it's certainly much better than average.
The following things would be worth looking at:

Lengthening chapter size,

Drawing a little more description into the setting within the first few chapters - we launch straight in with the grief, which is great, but it also means that we miss out on a lot of introduction things. For exmaple, it was only chapter 2 when I learnt our heroine's name but my mind just skipped over it because of the passing reference. A careful look at putting in a few more bits of mis-en-scene would probably captivate more readers.

Also, extending the first part before we meet our ghost, setting a scene in which a ghost could realistically exist - the new house being old, making stairs creak, finding a draft in her room etc. - would help keep the suspension of disbelief - mine went as soon as I saw that and I wouldn't have kept reading hadn't it have been for the good writing. It does really lower the promising tone of the story - from chapter 4 onwards everything is less believable. But if you set it up well, then readers will believe it and go along with it.

Try not to rush things - I think that's partly the problem with the introduction and the introduction of your ghost; you rush into and past them before the reader can quite grasp them. Explore their meeting a bit more, build up that first conversation, develop a paragraph or two about how things enfold from there.

Also the title could be a little more relative to the story.

And of course, your character pictures etc. could go into the Mibba character's function.

Oh, and there's a smiley randomly in the middle of chapter 7 that seems to have no particular reason for being there!

If you wanted to attract more readers straight away I'd change the summary to an actual blurb-type and get rid of all All Time Low references altogether - that way it's entirely original. Still us Alex's picture of course, because he's pretty.

Things I love:
The quotes at the beginning of each chapter.
The pictures of Brooklyn's bedroom etc.
The language when you get into a bit of description.
The fact that Brooklyn moves on at the end.

this story took my breath away
your writing is beautifully flawless.
i hope one day i achieve that amazing style
AlanahAmazing.

THAT WAS AMAZING.
I love the ending, and it was just lovely:')
Thanks for writing it, it was the most unique Alex story I've ever read.

this was very good!! i loved it!!! though it was sad it was also very touching!! you are an excelent writer too!! XD

Wow, what an ending it was absolutly amazing! It is by far the most creative and unique story ive probably ever read! I found a chapter of it on quizilla and knew i needed to find it on mibba! It took me like days! But amazing story and i can not wait to read other ones you have!

I know so many people have said this, but this is completely, the best Alex story I've read.
I loved the whole thing! {:

Holy crap...
Hands down, probably the best Gaskarth story I've ever read (:
How you described everything...it was just chilling.
I loved the storyline; it was original and completely different from any other story out there.
Oh gosh, I was grinning like a fool and my heart was skipping beats every time Alex was there.
But when you had that little part where he poofed off, I could feel myself tearing up and an unsettling feeling in my stomach.
Ah, and that letter Alex wrote...I actually cried. Haha, no joke, actual tears fell.
Basically, I have fallen in love with this story and your writing.
I'm excited for other stories that you'll be writing in the future, and I know there's already one that's started (;

Damn, my comment isn't good enough for your story x3

OMG!!! I LOVED your story. I started reading it on quizilla and when I saw that you moved it here, I HAD to finish the story. It was so great. I almost cried. It really touched home for me too, but in a different sense. I almost lost my father when I was 8. The experience of almost loosing a loved one and then having to watch my cousin grieve over her father less than a year later was unexplainable. Having been in that situation really makes you appreciate life. If you still read things on quizilla, there's a story by gimlifish called 'Weightless' its a JackxOC story but it really makes you value life.

-xlostinmyownworldx

Oh my god!
I freaking love this story.
Although I'm a bit sad to see it end, I loved it!
and Brooke getting pregnant with Alexs baby? freaking genius.
So yeah, just wanted to say that I think you're an amazing writer and I love your stories :)
p.s. I read them on quizilla too :)

I have no clue as to how long this was over for, but i decided to comment anyway since you have grown a love for comments.(as do i too) (:
I loved it. It made me tear.!
I loved the idea ! Never heard about it before, original.(:

ha. I was reading this on Quizilla.
and your story reminds me slightly of Kissed By An Angel.
Which is one of my favorites<3

dont think i'm crazy, but i just subrscribed even though its over.
i want to be able to find it again when im in the mood to read something this beautiful again.
thank you for this story, when i read the summary i was curious and now i am really happy i dedicated a few hours tonight to your story, it was great.
i love the idea, i love the emotion, i love everything about this story, i'll be reading it again sometime soon. :)

I declare this story, the best I've ever read! I can not get over how amazing it it and everything. I can not describe how this made me feel. Its unbeleivable! Thank you for writing such an amazing story. I loved it. I'll be sure to pass this on to my friends :)

of course it was a sad ending, but it makes sense
and its still cute :)

That was a wonderful way to end it
(: