That was really good. :)
June 25th, 2010 at 07:53pm
Aw, it's already finished! I'm a little disappointed. I love the way you write so much; just wanted to spend a little more time in this world. But that's okay. I missed so many chapters I'm not even sure I can make a completely comprehensive critique (apparently I like alliteration), so I'm just going to share a couple of thoughts that stood out to me.
I'm a pervert. I was totally hoping for a hot sex scene, so Angie could be like "Matt is amazing!" and be like "what the eff was I thinking?" I mean, sure. We all love Zacky, but in this case I wanted Matt to finally get his chance.
I mean, yeah, he got his chance...a lot of times. And he got the girl. But at the same time, we're all hormonal =P I feel severely deprived. Hahaha, I'm joking though. I really did enjoy the way you loaded the scenes with sexual tension, yet at the end there is so much more emotion expressed through the writing. It shows the significance and seriousness of Matt and Angie's relationship.
I am disappointed by the lack of Zack though. I wanted to see his reaction to their relationship and happiness. But at the same time, I'm glad you ended it the way you did. He did deserve to be caught. And you're right; that would haunt him for the rest of his life. His entire teaching career is pretty much over. Which, I suppose in a way is justified. Since that pretty much ruins his life.
This was a lovely short story. You managed to create such a great rapport between readers and the characters, and there wasn't even that much to work on (in the sense that the story only spans a short amount of time; like a week lol). It takes a lot of skill to do that, so I applaud you. I mean, you made me dislike the oh-so-amazing Zacky; and that's like, impossible hahaha. Well done!
