Countdown to Self-Destruct - Comments

I would just like to start off by saying that this was a really great idea for a story! Sending himself e-mails, I don't know, that was just really clever. I've seen the stories about how people meet online or whatever, but yours was just simply about your main character. And another thing that I really liked (I enjoy the small things), was how you did your chapter titles backwards. Because the story is called 'Countdown to Self-Destruct' I thought it was really clever that you did the chapter titles counting down. (:

and in the silence i thought to myself, i am losing everyone.
From chapter three. But that ^ was my favorite line in the whole story. I don't know why, but for some reason, it was just so easy to completely understand exactly what he was thinking right there. And how his world was just unraveling and it was all so easy to understand and relate to, because at one point or another, everyone has sort of felt that.

All the while reading this, I feel it necessary to have the comment page open in a separate tab so I can remember to write certain things. After reading the fifth chapter, about how he couldn't love Holly, even though he wanted to, I just feel so sad for him. The fact that he literally could not love her and it made him sad, made me sad. But I think that, all along, he really did love her. Maybe not so much in a romantic way, but in the way that he wanted her there always, because she could understand him and help him pick up the pieces when no one else could. To me, I think that's love in its own way. I think he was just too preoccupied with how he doesn't know who he is, or what to do next, to realize it.

I thought it was a nice touch at the end, how his spelling and everything just go so bad. Like you wrote it as if he was writing it with shaking hands and was teary-eyed and couldn't see quite well.

The ending though, Jesus. That caught me off guard because I was really hoping he would turn it all around. But the whole time, all I feel is sympathy for Ryan. I mean, we all have monsters inside of us, but in this story, his was so bad that it overcame him. Because he couldn't let anyone in and that was just the saddest part of all.

This was a really good story to read. Not because it made me happy or made me really sad, but because it left me feeling something and thinking something. Your story honestly made me think, something that's rare on this site. And I've struggled with addiction and monsters and loneliness and everything in this story was relevant to everything in my life at one point or another, so to read it, and see it from Ryan's point of view, that was just... it was amazing.

The ending was sad and happy at the same time. Completely bittersweet.
Sad because he left his monsters drive him to that state.
Happy because he finally killed the monster inside of him.

There isn't anything negative to say about this story. I mean, really, if you look at it, it was pure soul from one guy, just pouring his heart out onto an e-mail that only he would ever get to read. Like he said in the first chapter - to go backwards in time, almost, to look back on his old mindset. But he never did that. He never looked over them again.

Maybe that was one of his biggest downfalls.

Either way, I really am glad that I stumbled upon this story. It's left me with something that I don't think I'll soon forget. It's sad to see you leave Mibba (it was in one of the author notes) but good luck in your college endeavors! (:

Oh God, please, please, please. Update. It's fantastic. It's a painting of the mind of Ryan Ross. Just... amazing.

I don't know how to explain how beautifully that chapter written, even though it's dealing with such a person in such a terrible mind frame and so frightened. It was just full of raw emotion and I'm blown away. This is truely one of the more thought provoking and talented stories on this sight.

I understand you wanting to quit after you finish your stories. It's time to move on with real life. But it was great while it lasted and you will be dearly missed for you are, by far, one of the best writers on this site. Thank you for gracing us with your writing and I enjoyed it all so much.

This is beautiful and wonderful and I'm in love.

Ryan, he's a piece of work.
This is flawless though. :)

I've never commented on this story before but I just thought I'd tell you that I really really love it. I find it to be hauntingly poetic if that makes any sense. I don't know, there's just something so innocent and desperately sad about it all at once.
I kind of flinched a little when you pulled the cocaine thing into it though, I don't know, like I really somehow wanted it to be ignored, but when he confirmed that he did do it I just found it sounded so sad. Not because he seemed sad when he brought it up, but because he just sort of mentioned it and didn't really care, like it was nothing to him, and I just found that moment so heartbreaking.
I loved how when he talks about love it's capitalised, almost as though it's just something so amazingly inspiring to him. To just say love would have probably been cliché, but to speak of Love just made it seem like something awe inspiring and unreachable.
I'd say that this is the most unique writing style that I've found on mibba and I really do enjoy all of your writing so I can't wait to see how it turns out.

I kinda want to punch Ryan in the face. But in the best way possible... there's nothing wrong with that right? haha

I sincerely love your writing.

reading this actually made me very sad, i actually feel really bad for ryan reading this. but then again, in this chapter i feel bad for brendon cause i can jsut picture his big brown puppy eyes and thoughs huge pouted lips. god im creepy hah. update was amazing, as always. can not wait for the next one, maybe you wont make me want to cry in the next one? haha.

This story, plain and simple, is brilliance.

I love it. And I promise I won't leave them alone if they ban you for the mistakes.

This story would be unrealistic and annoying if it didn't have mistakes >O

Wow, another amazing, unique story!
You are so talented and I love this perspective!
So excited for more!!

I had exams this week, sorry it took me so long to read/comment. I don't know, whenever I read this story I get lost in Ryan's thoughts. Sort of like there my own, does that make any sense? It leaves me feeling his emotions and thoughts. It was weird...But in the best way possible. I don't think that made any sense, but I hope it did. My thoughts are all over the place., and I'm confused myself. haha :)

That last line just killed me. I love how simple this story is, and yet so crazy complex it is too. More more more! I'm going to be so sad when this is over, I can already tell haha

I like it a lot. Anything with Ryan, I love. And you make it so real, like those are his real emails! :)

I love spencer, hes so cute! just thought you should know, i was actually screaming at my computer screen when he was all "im losing everyone". I really hope this ends happy :(

wow! i just love it. i mean it's great to know what's going inside Ryan's head (even if it's not really real). it kind of explains stuff (even though it's probably not how it happened). i love it.. i really do.

I feel bad that is has taken me so long to finally read this update. It’s been a busy/stressful week. But I’m happy I got to end it with this update. My headache is consuming my brain, not in a good way. But I really enjoyed this. I’m going to lie down for awhile…

i love this story. it's written really well and it makes me think. the way ryan talks to himself is how i sort through my thoughts. only i do it in my head instead of through e-mails to myself. :) it kinda makes me think about how these awesome boys in bands are actual people and could really be thinking things like this. sometimes they seem so unreal, like cinderella or something. almost fictional. it's a really cool take on things ryan could be feeling. i dig it.