DeadAlive - Comments

That's not long. That's only five pages when you copy and paste it onto word and delete all the spaces between the paragraphs. Unless you have like 40 chapters, it's not even gonna crack 200 pages. Just thought you might wanna know. I'm not really into the whole zombie thing, but I'm impressed. You've got talent.

Hmm, I'm not a zombie fan, but..this was really well-written, and kept me interested the whole time! (:
I really like it so far. You have a really good start, so the story should come along smoothly.
The characters also seem very well-written, as they have good relationships with eachother.
This is going to great. (: I can tell!
Good job!

Ah. Yes. I have read this before, and that was about a week ago. You should update more often.

Anyway, I was intrigued from the beginning. This little bit: “That,” Fletcher said, probably pointing a disgusted finger at the screen was absolutely...wonderul. How can a finger be disgusting, you know? It makes me think about it, and I love when stories do that. A disgusted finger...what a metaphor. Props on that.

I love the play on Zombie Media, by the way. Dead or Alive, I believe, is a zombie video game, correct? So, DeadAlive, nearly the same, lets us know already that we're going to be reading a zombie piece. And then, of course, you forshadow even further with “Oh, what, Dead Rising? This game’s amazing, you should see this! Look, the main character can actually reach into a zombie’s abdomen and rip out its intestines! It’s so cool!” I resumed the game and went to show just that on the screen. I think this brings suspicion towards the character speaking as well as, again, forshadows what is to happen later in the text.

There are no flaws that I can see.

Well done. [Or, as Electric Goat said, Epic Win]

Doctor

I am a huge, huge zombie fan. Bah. Zombie stories are so hard to find - I'm glad you commented on the journal. This is amazing girl.

I don't really read zobbie stories but then again i dont really find them. But hell i loved this one haha XD
I am really interested in where this is going and i really want to read more :)

Jesus Christ on a carousel, it was a motherfuckin’ zombie.

Epic win. I really like it so far. I rarely read good zombie stories, but this is starting out great. You got to some good stuff in the first chapter without seeming too rushed, which is really hard to do. I like the relationship the characters have with each other, it seems pretty real and I can see you're heading a good direction with this.

Keep up the good work!

PS. If you like zombies, I have a zombie fic! :)