Even If Saving You Sends Me to Heaven - Comments

I just finished it and it's AMAZING. I love it and you should publish it! I love the way you make the characters imperfect, and with a bit more detail and a little fine-tuning, you've got yourself an amazing book that I would buy in an instant. I hope you get through whatever it is that you're going through, and know that if you need help, let me know. :) I'm here from comment swap and am so honored that I could read your amazing story.
(Please finish it soon! I must know what happens!)

I have only read chapter one, but so far it seems pretty interesting. I found your story through comment swap and to be honest I like your writing style only a few misspellings but hey we make spelling errors here and there lol. Anywho keep up the good work and I hope you get many reviews and update often. I hope you can check out my story as well sometime, its horror and mystery (Not sure if your into that lol) Oh I almost forgot to mention I like how you added a picture in the background of your writing it's a very cool effect, I like when authors do that as well show a picture on what their characters look like, sorry I'm rambling XD As I said before good luck and keep on updating.

Well, I've only read the first chapter and the description but this is a very good idea for a story. I think I will continue reading it because lately I have been thinking a lot about what happens after you die. The idea of purgatory is something I never even considered. I like the way you write, but it does seem a bit rushed. There wasn't a whole lot of description. I wanted to know more about how the main character felt about this Purgatory. She was kind of thrown into it and was immediately just like "I guess this is what I have to do now, oh well." Something about that is just a little hard to believe for me. Anyway, keep it up. I'll be reading it.

Well, I've only read the first chapter and the description but this is a very good idea for a story. I think I will continue reading it because lately I have been thinking a lot about what happens after you die. The idea of purgatory is something I never even considered. I like the way you write, but it does seem a bit rushed. There wasn't a whole lot of description. I wanted to know more about how the main character felt about this Purgatory. She was kind of thrown into it and was immediately just like "I guess this is what I have to do now, oh well." Something about that is just a little hard to believe for me. Anyway, keep it up. I'll be reading it.

Well, I've only read the first chapter and the description . I think but this is a very good idea for a story

Sorry it took me so long to comment (from the Swap) but I was super put off by how many chapters there were - at first. After I started reading, I devoured this. It's got an excellent concept and you've materialized your characters so well that I feel like I can connect with them (Danny is my favorite, no lies).

Throughout, there are QUITE a few spelling throughout the entire of the story, some are really obvious and some less so. But they get pretty distracting.

In a few places there is dialogue where you forgot either a beginning quotation or an ending one, in a few places you didn't have any at all.

In the most recent chapters, I was a little put off by Zane and Arianna's near doing-it. My father died of brain cancer, and he had absolutely no drive to do ANYTHING months before he was diagnosed. I know it wouldn't exactly work well with your story, but that might want to be something you include in future chapters as he grows more ill. In fact, if you have questions about later symptoms that you can toss in for Zane, I will tell you - no problem!

Now that I'm done nitpicking...I really did enjoy this. I usually don't sit down and devour stories on Mibba, but I did for this one. XD This has actually got me to interact with the text - sometimes where I get fussy over certain details I would change - but I say that's a definite bonus for your story, because I don't really interact with printed text, either.

I'm subscribed, and I really hope you update soon! I can't wait to see what happens with Zane and Arianna (and maybe Danny too...?).

OMG I got this on Comment Swap a while ago and just got around to reading it.
I thought I wouldn't liek it but I do. I love it!
The concept is so different and your writing style is great.
I literally got shivers when Danny confessed everything to her. And then when she and Zane kissed, omg i almost fainted. I was like 'omg you're gonna go to help Arianna, you're supposed to be guarding him, not doing such things with him!'
I love how the story's going and I definitely want to see what happens.
Update soon!<3

i'm loving this so far. i'm a few chapters in, and i really really love the idea behind it, it's really unique! i think the thing i love the most is that she's feeling/thinking everything that he is, so even though the story is in first person, we get to know zane more than we would normally.

the characters are really interesting, and i'm already wondering about how she died in the first place, so good use of mystery there, heh. <3

Just. WOW!

I need you to update immediately because i am emotionally attached to every character in this story and im crying and i need to know what happens next before i pull a Zane and launch my tv remote at the wall.

Thank you :)

Loved the update. I like Ariana's stubborness with regards to how she feels about Zane, but I get the feeling that she's starting to realise that Danny might have been right x

(sorry continuing the comment here, accidentally pressed enter)

The first chapter kept my attention and I enjoyed reading it. You didn't spend too long on descriptions and kept a creative way of wording things to keep your readers captivated. The dialogue was believable and so far I enjoy Arianna as a character.

The idea for this is quite unique. I've always been interested in religion and I don't think this has ever been done before. Plus the handbook and the way Arianna thought everything the angel did was annoying was very comical. Bravo.

The only thing I have to say is that Arianna seems a little bit too 'okay' with the fact that she's an angel. She probably should be a little more freaked out about it, if anything.

But otherwise this story was very well done. Keep up the good work.

I love this so much! Great idea, and very well done. I love your style, it's very unique.

Can't wait for more!

Well, the comment swap brought me here about an hour and a half ago, and I've been reading this ever since. And I've got to tell you, I'm pissed that I have to wait for an update! Seriously, this is an incredible story. It's captivating and unique and believable without being boring at all. I love this Arianna/Zane relationship and I love everything about the individual characters. However, I feel bad for Mara. I want her to come back and hug Zane even if it hurts Arianna... Also, I think the twist you made with Danny being the shooter was phenomenal and totally unexpected. I can't wait to see what happens next!

I think you have a great, unique idea. Like you said, most people only consider Heaven and Hell.

I didn't spot any mistakes in the first chapter, and you managed to keep my attention for the whole thing, so well done. I think you're a good writer and you made a good start to a story, so good job :)

OMG this is a great idea for a story. Angels have always been a favorite subject of mine in my religious studies. You are also very clever with tying in Purgatory to the mix of everything. Arianna is also a great lead, and she is very real. You have a nice style of writing which gives everything a sort of flow. I also did not see that many grammar errors. Keep up the great work!

Wow! Well I must say that this story is written very, very well. You have a very unique writing form. You know how to include descriptions in your words and how to convey emotion in you dialogue. Not a lot of people can do that so I definitely commend you on that (: I enjoyed the characterization you give to the character and how you portray them as real people. You words flowed very easily and it was a pleasure to read this story. Keep up the good work, because you have talent!

The layout is nice and simple, I like it that way. The story was very well written, full of detail and description. The summary pulled me in right away, curious about the rest of the story, which did not disappoint. The story flows very nicely and the chapters are good lengths. Overall, it's an awesome story! Keep up the great work!

Wow!!! I love a) the idea of this story b) the characters (funnily enough, Danny's my fave) and c) the way you're writing it. It's easy to read, but the content makes the reader emotional and care about the characters. Great job, I can't wait to read more!

This way this story is, is amazing! Extremely descriptive and just full of detail. The words flowed so beautifully; this is just a wonderful piece of work. Keep up the great writing! You have a real talent for it! I subscribed, I really can't wait to read more!