As You Wish. - Comments

I can't believe I still hadn't commented on this, goes to show how distracted I get. Anyway, and it may be a little biased, but, I usually read fan fictions. Probably because I'm a little fangirl myself, haha.

But I've never read anything like this before, I've read about princesses and such but the way the wrote it was so... blah, the way this was worded is damned good.

You do make subtle sexy.

Jack's a little weird, but, weird is good. Really wish you would've kept up with this story.
The layout is simple but pretty, I'm not that big on over the top layouts. Kudos

Gorgeous layout and picture at the top. So easy to read, too.

Summary is just awesome - it really pulls you in, even though it's so short and simple. It's great!

The prologue was really nice. I really got a good feel for what her life was like, and how horrible and unfair it is for that to be taken away from a child. It really seems like a good set-up to a unique story.

Didn't spot any grammar mistakes or spelling errors or anything like that, and your writing style is very good, in my opinion. Good job on that :)

It's great to see the concept of being a princess from Sophia's mother's point of view, in the sense that fairy-tales are not a part of being one. That's just...I never thought of it like that. The two always seemed to be eternally bonded, as though one could not exist with the other. But it seems as though it is serious business, and I like that aspect you're taking on it. I've only read the prologue, but I'll definitely be continuing on! Great job :)

I like the story so far! It’s descriptive, the story runs smoothly with description and you have a way with telling a story and the interaction between the characters. Really great job, keep up the great work! I look forward to reading more!

I enjoyed this. I really like the idea of the story, and even though it's been done before it's different enough to give it a bit of an edge. I really like Jack as a character and the way he and Sophia interact.

This story is captivating in it's own whimsical way and something about the simplistic background makes me like it even more.
Overall the idea is a little cliché, but that doesn't mean you can't change it up. I would also suggest maybe adding more dimension to the characters. In general, the story is well written, cute, and definitely something to brighten someone's day.

This is story is interesting, I love fantasy stories and deff gonna try to keep up with this. Also I thought you are writing in a very beautiful way. I envy Sophie in one thing... ¬¬ not going to go to school. I wish I was tutored at home. Great story and keep up the great job.

After reading for awhile, a few chapters through. I really did enjoy the story... It's not my cup of tea mind you, but it's still very cute and very beautiful, I love Sophia and the maids... The language and diction could be imrpoved some, though not that dramatically... (I write with a dictionary by me)
I say... This deserves a 4/5. Really do love the characters, Jack seems like a weird fellow, but meh. I love the story... The dialog needs work, but thats normal for most people in books... (George R.R. Martin even had trouble with Dialog) anyway, lovely story lovely characters. needs just a few more word choices and your set... Don't take anything I say "Literal" Because its just constructive criticism. I hope you the best and have a good day ^_^ -Zeed

After reading the first few chapters, my general impression is that this story is fairly well written. I personally believe that the characters are a little cliché and mary-sue ish but that's mealy my subjective view. The language used could be improved to make the story more sophisticated and embellished if you wanted to but it's fine the way that it is. The descriptions could be more detailed as well. I hope your not offended by anything that I've said. :) xx

This is a cute story, and I grew to love it more after each chapter. There were a few grammar mistakes, but everyone is human. Humans make mistakes. I can't wait for your next update though, and I have to say that I enjoy both Sophia and Jack. Olivia is a nasty little girl, and Rosalinda is annoying. I hope you post soon!

i love this story! update soon! :D

story comment swap
In the Prologue, I really liked that instead of just saying oh Sophia was the way she was because she was, you had the backstory that Sophia was once a child that believed in fairytales and it was her mother who changed that for her.

One thing I did notice is that you're not quite doing dialogue correctly. Like in the second chapter paragraph four:

"As you wish, Princess." He said softly after a moment, his voice as sweet a dozen roses.
This is what you have, and if you're going to say 'he said' then it should look like this:

"As you wish," he said...

Unless you're ending the quotation with a question or exclamation its a comma, and if you're going to say s/he it has to be lowercase. However if you're going to say a quote and then continue then you don't have to lowercase it.

Here are some examples so it makes sense:

"As you wish, Princess!" he exclaimed.
"As you wish, Princess?" he asked.
"As you wish, Princess," Timmy said.
"As you wish, Princess." He looked away from her.

I think that's pretty much the basics. Otherwise, there's a lot of information on dialogue online.

From what I've read, this has the potential to be a really good historical fiction story. I noticed a few fragments here and there that but that can easily be fixed by reading through your story once in a while. Overall, I did end up quite intrigued with the ending of Part 2. It left me wondering enough to read more, as I am always interested in a good romance and would like to know who the mysterious guests are.

I just saw a trailer to the upcoming movie Brave by Pixar, and in some ways your story reminded me of it, and it is probably because of the mother haha. She wants Sophia to act and be a certain way, just like the mother of the main character in Brave which, in my opinion, sucks, but they have to obey their parents, right?

I really like the characters you have created, even the maid Maybelle. Also, I really like your style of writing. It is very descriptive and a bit whimsical! Maybe it’s just my imagination, but I just love the way you describe people because I could almost imagine them in my head. Your vocabulary is amazing and it really brings the story to life. I could see the world that Sophia is living in just from your ability to describe everything you are seeing in your head. And not only are your descriptions and vocabulary astounding, the way your story flows is amazing. I always try to make my writing flow and try to avoid being choppy, but sometimes it can become difficult when my ideas are shooting out faster than I can type.

Keep up the great writing! I really like your story and the direction it's heading.

^____^

Gah! I'm like attacking this story. I'm sorry. Lol. Anyway, I really like Sophia because I can kind of relate to her. Again, I love Jack and this whole 9 chapters of goodness needs to have more chapters of goodness, otherwise, I shall be upset.

This truly is interesting. Sorry for posting twice, but i re-read it. This is gorgeous.
Update soon(:

This is a beautiful story. Jack's a total cutie (:

This story is fantastic.
The details are great and you to an awesome job showing us how Sophia is feeling.
Can't wait to read more.

I LOVE this. Please write more. =]

Aw, I like Jack. He's adorable.

i kind of like him :) x