Into the Void - Comments

ok so I thought I would comment on both as mine is longer than your one.....I must say I wanted to read the other more than this but this is a good story and is quite interesting. I'm not say I didnt want to read on but I was more intrigued by the first. Your very good at descriptive writing. You make it very clear to picture. All in all your a very good writer :) xx

Okay iam loving ginger head since he pisses off this jessica chick. though i wonder what will become of him and his future role:)
oh where oh where has Stefan gone, oh where oh where can he be?
loving the charaters and descriptions oh everything:)

Wow. i really like the way that Summerland and all of the Realms are described :)
This story is my new addiction.

omg this is so good!

I like this a lot.
The whole idea of it is very unique and creative.
You're a really good writer:) Very descriptive.
I can't wait for more.
:D

This story has me intrigued.

I was drawn in from the beginning. :)

Also, I love this sentence: But at night the moon flawed everything, darkening the shades to something very different even new. I don't know why ... but I just do. :D

Love the humour: Arthur was laid out on the couch, snoring so loud I’m surprised animal control hasn’t barged in yet.

The imagery/descriptions were very good. Very creative work!

Another thing I love about your story is that it's got no grammar/spelling mistakes. Which is always one of the highest factors in a story.

I'm most definitely looking forward to reading more, so I'm going to subscribed, too. :)

But yeah. It still reminds me of the movie The wrist cutters. :P
Your writing has improved.
Aelf had a big job to do. XD

There, I commented.

I really liked it. I thought it was generally really well written and descriptive.

I have a question about your banner: The guy in it, is that Jackson Rathbone? I was just wondering about that because it looked a lot like him. But I could be wrong.

Okay, so seeing as I promised I'd read this I'm gonna analyze every ounce of it.

Layout:
The layout is pretty cool.. not too distracting and I like the way it looks like rain but seems to be spit. Or some other white substance.

Characters: (images)
Stefan His image is pretty dark, which can be hard to tell what he looks like. In turn begging for more description. The actual character description was pretty interesting, I like how you started it off.
Aimee The image is sort of overtaken by her hair but other then that its very good, I like the description. She was born on Halloween which almost insists upon her having something strange about her.

Summary: Although the pictures are dark, that might help adding to the atmosphere of the story, however you might need to add more to the general description of the story in this case.

The banner on chapter one:
I don't usually say anything about banners but this one I had to talk about, its a good general idea but the text in the upper left corner is hard to read and pretty un noticeable. I had to double check it.

Summary: You might have to edit it, or get who ever did it if not yourself to edit it and make the colouring lighter.

Chapter One:
'But at night the moon flawed everything, darkening the shades to something very different even new.' I like that bit, I've never thought as the moon as something that shows your flaws.

'Unlike the sun, the moon brought out the reality in the world.' This is a nice short sentence, but you could elaborate to say why the sun doesn't bring out the reality. As if your saying: "The sun simply covers up those flaws like poorly chosen foundation on a cheap girl," or something along those lines. Because then you get some imagery in there.

'The hairs on my neck stood up, but still I didn’t turn around to him' I loved that bit! One of the most thrilling pieces of imagery and literature a person could put in a story.

'By 'other pictures' I meant my pictures of the dead, my friends.' That bit is very creepy, but definitely adds to the theme. And the 'my friends.' bit shows me that my theory was right about her being a little creepy.

'His clear green eyes stared at me with child-like innocence.' This is slightly cliché but shows what you mean well.

'“I did remember,” he mumbled. “I was hoping you didn’t.”' haha aww, thats such a sweet line. One of my favorites in the chapter.

'...and smelled like ass.' That line made me smirk. :D

Summary: I really liked that, honestly, I don't really enjoy reading a lot of work by people that advertise but I do it myself so I can't say much but that was amazing! I loved every piece you had written there. It's really nice work and I agree with every one else, you should keep it up and keep your mind in the same frame you had for this first chapter.

If any one would like having a story criticized like this and can handle criticism then do contact me.

Ahhh! This is totally awesome. It honestly freaked me out when Aimee saw that Demon behind her mom's tombstone. I was like 'woah.' Ha, anyway, I really love this. It's fantastic!

I love it but after reading the description I thought to myself "Is this Dr Who Inspired?"
Because it sounds a lot like Rose in the last episode. Also the title is called into the void what the doctor says on the last episode of second series where rose "dies".
Just being curious and Nosey :)
Anyway its good

That's really good, I quite like it.

I like the idea, it's very unique. I think I have an idea where you're going with this but it's a little early to be sure.

Can't wait to read more =)

This sounds like it’s going to be a very good story.
Can’t wait for more.

Wow, this is definatly interesting. It's very creative already and has nice description.