April 20th, 2008 at 02:25am
I feel so awful for making you guys wait three months for yet another update.
Please forgive me?
Holy Shit.
- The Jiggsaw.:
- Again. My delays. They're horrible burdens because you stroke such words onto a page of an updated chapter. Really. I find it hard to even begin my comment, let aside make it through the whole thing and end it. God Fuck. Thank you, is really what I need to be starting my reviews off with. Thank you for writing this; thank you for putting up that journal advertising this; thank you for keep going with it. Your sense of writing is beyond what I've known. It's... it's... it's perfect. And perfect never floats in my eyes. But you do. /=
Beams of fluorescent lights cast shallow shadows amongst the small room, mixing in with the rather drab furnishings randomly placed around the space. A padded folding chair to the right, a stretch of a leather sofa in the left-hand corner. Exactly three potted plants accompanied the orange shag carpeting, and close inspection made me realize that they were fake. (Actually, I could see the plastic details from across the room…)
Damn it. You have no idea how close I came to shedding a tear or two for that paragraph. You. Have. No. Fucking. Clue. I wanted to cry in the dust of the beauty of those lines. The only time I've cried in the magnificent beauty of something was reading "The Catcher in the Rye," "The Perk of Being a Wallflower," or Zodiac's work, or listening to Bright Eyes, and our friends in My Chemical Romance. Other times, I've cried at the dripping sorrow of things, but hardly is there ever so much intense beauty that shatters me. You're one of the top up there. Good work.
I liked the fact that your character just did not have any need or desire to go to a concert. In fact, I /adored/ that she detested the thought of herself crowded beneath hundreds of people who were all intimate in melody and lyrics to the point where she'd probably feel left out and pushed under the weight of their rising voices. I think it's one of the things that makes me love her structure so deep into my veins. She's real, not painted to thickly or just loose brushes against porcelain. She's realistic and herself. Not some old, worn down character you'd find after opening any top selling book.
Again. Thank you.
Other than the incredible plot, if there is one thing that really stands out in this story; it's your magnificent descriptions.
Gail’s stomach lurched. Her mind spun like a deranged carosel, and her heart was beating it’s way out of her chest.
That's a very intense description that certainly stood out in my mind. A deranged carosel is a very unique description, although the last one I would think of, that fits perfectly in with the story.
For extra effect, she swiftly brought her bony wrist to face, expecting her thin watch to have been there. It wasn’t.
This shows clearly, without being too up front, how difficult her husband's obsession with the case must have been for her to deal with. All of her movements seem to be altered, in a bad way, by her husband's case.
And the cliff hanger at the end is really going to bother me until I figure out more of what's going on. The way he just ran out like that? There has to be something happening, and I think I have an idea what, but I suppose I'll just have to wait and see.
You are an incredible writer, and I enjoy this story very much.
I love it. Update again when you can.
Forgiven for the late update, I love it just the same. :cute: