Just Sleep - Comments

This was inspirational - you're very talented!
The ending could not have been better either, and the dialogue was really powerful.
The use of the tape recorder was fantastic too, I would never have thought of using it.
Well done! ;D

Wow, that was amazing.
You used "big words" xD, so to speak, and I feel you described everything very well.
I sometimes hate when too much vocabulary is thrown in and it just complicates everything and makes the story drag on; you didn't do that.
Great writing - keep it up!

Courtney, this is a very very very well written One-shot. You use words like awesomely....lol. But I think you get my point

woa, that was som pretty powerful shit. i really loved that. the way you used the tape recorder was just perfect.

<3

Wow. The ending blew me away. Him going to a meadow, with the tape-recorder...and then kills himself. Wow. This is really an amazing one-shot, I really liked it.

I don't think you should continue with this since it's excellent the way it is.

I really really liked this a lot.
A great read.
And I loved the ending.
It was so sad..

You know, I was thinking that I could probably continue off of this story instead of leaving it as a one-shot, but that's just a thought.

However, I highly doubt our do it.

I like - scratch that . LOVED it :]
It took my mind away.

That was really, really good.

Woah, this was mind-blowing!
I really, really loved it.
I did make me cry though...
Great job
-appaulds-

I'll have you know that it's currently 6:23 AM for me. I have to leave for school and I'm sitting here ready to cry.

There was nothing wrong with this at all so don't look for constructive crit here. This was amazing. The description was perfect, and the ending was so sad. =[

I reviewed this for the cult. Could you R&R "Conviction" for me? Click on the word "people" in my siggie.

i think it was amazing.

So far, all of you have been a great help and have given me really good reviews. I thank you all very much! :D

Just a reminder: I would appreciate real reviews and constructive criticism. I can't excel if I'm not critiqued properly – adequacy is my goal.

That was amazing.
I really liked how the ending was really unexpected to me.
I should have taken a hint from the chapter title, but I didn't.
Really good work, it just flows so well.
I love the half fiction half reality to it.
Great job.

Oh, oh my gosh.
That was beyond anything I could possibly describe without having to make up words along the way - I mean, really.
Your writing has such a magnificent quality, you use words that aren't that common these days - and they fit perfectly.
I loved how you didn't over dramatize anything, or give a elaborate character backgrounds.
The whole simplicity of the oneshot was beautiful, and the ending? My God.
It was almost as though you had taken cloth and woven Gerard Way's recollection of nightmares into a outstanding and chilling story.
Honestly, I am envious!
Keep up the great work. I'd like to see more of your writing here!

(I'm also sorry for the poor quality of my review, but I am really just speechless!)

That was incredible.
Honestly... It was amazing.
A little short, but that's okay. Any longer and it wouldn't have been... Right.
With the amount of detail you gave, I really felt as though I was there.
As someone else has said, it was great how you used hardly any dialog.
I really loved this and I hope you keep writing because this was simply wonderful.
The whole thing was just perfect.

I loved this! I was breathing heavily as I read it. A few spelling and grammar mistakes but it was still really good. You should continue to write. I, of course, have a favorite part:

He tosses and turns in his sleep as images excessively flood the inside of his eyelids to complicate his sleeping farther more. The horrifying images make him murmur curses into the open atmosphere. His breathing hitches in the back of his vocal chords as he feels something embracing his neck which eventually makes it throb. A taste, familiar taste, bites at his taste buds as the squeezing gets tighter; it was the bitter taste of blood. Finally, the squeezing makes his breathing staggered until his lungs’ feel as if they were filled with butane and he is gasping for oxygen.

I could feel everything that was happening. It was just amazing. I love how you write. I agree with Twilight_Freak. It does sound like something Edgar Allen Poe. Very dark and desolate but I still loved it.

I have to agree with all of the people that also commented this. This was a truely amazing one-shot and it was very discriptive. I could perfectly imagine what was going on as the I read it. As Jeana has said "This kind of thing reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe..." The ending really did make it seem like somehting Edgar Allan Poe would write. It was sort of a dark thing to have written, but I still enjoyed it.
The way you made this one-shot made me sad. I would have liked to see more added to this. But, in the end I can't argue. It's really amazing and I enjoyed it.

Everyone that posted a comment on here is right. This is an amazing one-shot, and it's very detailed. This kind of reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe, except it's not disturbing and scary and you didn't marry your thirteen year old cousin..
Still, your work is truly amazing and you are my story hero!

tht was just amazing
its one of the best one-shot i have ever read

I loved how you made him record the exact words that are being spoken at the beginning of 'Sleep' it just topped it off

This was definitely the best One Shot I've ever read. You had some really good descriptions and you didn't bother yourself with trying to put in enough dialouge. I know it would've been hard for me to use that much monolouge, because I'm usually a talker.

There weren't any grammar mistakes that I could see, but I could've run over something. You had a really big vocabulary and ...

Jesus. You just did a really great job on this.
I'm looking forward to reading more by you.

-- Mikey