Dear Diary, Love Chelsea - Comments

We started this journey, you and I, together about six years ago. Biologically, in seven years we are an entirely different person, and I do believe I'm a different person. I've carried a lot of resentment towards you in these past years, a high school of flinching when I heard your name, summers of hoping you'd never call, thankful when I didn't see you in the hallway. We haven't spoken in so long I've forgotten what the sound of your voice is like. We are going in two different journeys, neither of us truly know where we'll be in another six years.

The best and worst parts of me are because of you. You helped shape me as a person, and for that I cannot hate you, nor can I blame you. See, for some reason we both decided to visit where we began, and for some reason we are both back here.

I have a best friend now, who I can confidently say loves me for all of who I am, she knows about you. She knows about some of our fights and what you've done for me, she's my person completely and I guess I've always needed one. After we lost contact, after we began to hate each other, I lost my way, because even though I believe fully that you weren't good for me--- we weren't good together, that is--- I needed someone. I still need something, and I'm trying to get myself away from that.

When we walked into middle school, we didn't know who we were, and now we do. We are both eighteen, legal adults, and we know who we are. You are happy with your boyfriend and your decisions, you have God, and you have your life. I'm gay, atheist, and happy. And that's something I never thought I'd admit. I'm happy.

It's funny, reading through all of this, because this place started me on writing. It's why I'm currently a few pages into a project that I'm working on, and I'm going to go to UCF to pursue journalism AND creative writing. The tides that forced us to meet have allowed us to go our separate ways, and I believe that whatever happened, it's for the better.

Thank you for that. You've helped shape me into the person I am, and without you, I wouldn't have Nicole, and I wouldn't have my happiness. Just as I'm sure your boyfriend brings you happiness, Nicole brings that to me. Playing cupid with her and helping her, and knowing in a year I'm moving in with her makes me more happy than I can possibly articulate.

Reading through this is actually entertaining as to how stupid and immature we both were, we attracted drama with our cores and loved to start chaos for attention. I felt like I was justified but I wasn't, I wanted the attention of everyone around me, including you, and I'm sorry for anything I've caused.

I think this is the last time I'm saying goodbye, and after years of bickering, I'm glad I knew you, Chelsea. You were a large part in what made me who I am, and I can never say I regret knowing you, I only regret how I may have acted at thirteen.

Now that this has gotten extremely wordy... Bye, Chels.

-Alex.

The cutting, I have done, doesn't bother me. the suicide, you are lucky I am not around or you wouldn't /need/ it. I would ring your neck on the spot

do u even read my entries?

*cries EVEN LOUDER* haha,

i said hush!

*cries louder*

oh hush

*cries*

im noy buying you a new outfit alex!!!!

You and Ur boyfriend= me puking
LOVE YA
I NEED A NEW OUTFIT

I like this.
But um, why does PaperthinHYMN comment like 4734957467 times?

HAHA, I am re-reading this whole thing, and i got to the day we became friends, the field day, we became friends because:
Monster
I got to sleep on u

That is why!!!! Haha MONSTERS BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER

Of course YOU would think that...

Oh, dont forget the two monsters between yesterday and the day before! OH, in my eyes, there is hardly any dilation!

haha, thanks! I am loved! Read my diary, if more people comment i might feel obliged to update more! haha, well, THE FIELD TRIP WAS FUN!!!
Haha, Tiauna wrote that she missed me in my folder for Research, haha
Well, I am slightly sleepy, UPDATE THE DANG STORY!!!!! Hehe

i love this its cute. but i gotta say what i almost loved more are the comments by alezandra_1309... haha just saying(:

DONT GO TO GEORGIA, NO, NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!
I might be moving there....

GRR U THAT IS MY PLACE
Who is the 'she' the one u called a b... is it me?

Did u really say the S word???
Ur grandma would have KILLED u!!

That might be something we agree on, Abortion is just away for people who screwed up to get out of their screw ups, damn, put the baby up for adoption, don't freaking kill it! Abortion is screwed up!

I kno who ur talking 'bout, wont tell her tho, ur secret is safe with me!