Dance with Me - Comments

Your three longest comments in a row! Here is the third and final part xD
I have finally finished reading this story and will certainly be reading the sequal!

First I have to say the piano/singing together scene was a perfect breaking point where they'd go from teasing to something more serious. You chose a nice, creative way by letting them sing together. It just really fitted both Justin and Nat, because them both have a love for music. By not making them kiss, you made that moment even more special in my opinion.

Since there's a sequal I thought Nat would eventually go to the audition. But I'm glad you made her have a hard time chosing wether to do it or not. It again made your story more realistic by making her worry about her brother. Any real sister wouldn't just leave her little brother for some guy. And letting her friend take care of him was a good solution to make her be able to go on tour anyways.

Now that I have read the whole story, I have to say my favourite chapter was the one near the end with the swings where justin learns to 'caress'. They had such great tension but that part was absolutely amazing. You wrote it in such a way I could really feel the tension, I even had the 'butterflies in stumach' feeling for a moment xD

You did a great job on this story and I'm glad you liked my comments. It was a win win situation I guess ;)

PART II xD By now I'm at chapter 21 I think and I thought I'd leave you another superlong comment :p

I'm glad that you let us know about Natalie's situation (need of money, no parents, ...) in a natural way. You let her pick up her brother and come 'home' en the reader figures it out for him/herself. I hate it when people just make their main charachter think 'I've lost my parents and in life in a crappy home with an evil aunt' in stead of using real situations. It also makes your story more realistic. That is a strong point for this story, it's not too fast, but step by step. Only the morning after Nat slept at Justin's house was a bit unrealistic because his mum would've put more effort into contacting her parents and getting her home in real life.

It's really good that you have both Justin and Nat's POV. This way we can know what’s going on in both their heads! Especially because they are the main characters. As I read the first chapters I was really glad this wasn't a typical jb fanfiction. A lot of writers make Justin fall head over heals when he first sees the girl (she the most beautiful girl I had ever seen blablabla) or they make the girl throw herself at Justin's feet. But you didn't do that and I love you for it! It created great tensions between the two of them, first anger that is now slowly turning into love.

Just so you know this is also one of the first jb fanfictions were I started to like the girl more than Justin himself :p Nat is a very good charachter. You describe her very well! We get to know a lot about her and in some kind of way I really liked her after a few chapters. I personnally think you do have one big weakniss: there are a lot of typo mistakes in your story. That's a pitty because the story itself is really good but some people might get annoyed by all those little mistakes. Maybe reread a new chapter before posting it or pay more attention when you're reading. But besides that this story is awesome and I'm already thinking about reading the sequel too! =)

So are you ready for my superlong comments? xD

First I have to say I love the fact you have your own original story lay-out that fits the story.
Your summary is very well written! We get a short description of the main characters and you tell us a little bit more about what we can expect without giving everything away. It sucks when you already know everything by just reading the summary, but as I said you did a great job. The lay-out and the summary are what got me interested in your story and they made me decide to read.

From the first chapter I knew I was going to like this story! You describe situations very well: for example in chapter 1 she's going to be late and you write a few paragraphs about that. It's make your story interesting and realistic. Some people would use only one sentence to describe that and that's kind of annoying to me. We, the readers, can't see what's going on in your head when you write a story, so you have to describe well, but so far you're doing great! :) I also love that you try to put depth in your story (dancing is a way of life/chapter 1). And to finish you made your story interesting right from the start: being late, letting us meet her enemy, the enemy who is left in charge

Anyways, if you haven't noticed I LOVE THIS STORY so far xD appart from the few typo mistakes I can't really say anything bad about it :) I'll comment again when if read a few more chapters!

I absolutely adored this story. I seriously loved it, and you know how i feel about Justin, so enough said.

The story was realistic, which is why i loved it. It wasn't like some stories where she hates him the first 2 chapters, and then the third chapter she likes him and at the end of the fourth chapter she loves him to but doesn't know how to tell him. I like how their relationship went at a steady realistic pace.

I also <3 loved the tension between them. It shows that their was a connection their from the beginning with Nat and Justin.

I also loved how original the plot is. Sure, there are a lot of stories on here where the main attraction is a dancer or a singer or someone famous but you changed it just slightly so that it was original. I loved original the story was, the characters and overall I simply loved the story.

I'm sure the sequel is just as good =D

Hi! I'm not a Justin Bieber fan but I decided to read this anyways because the plot seemed good.

Natalie is a really interesting girl; I praise you for being able to create a character like her. You could probably give Justin more depth, but other than that, the characters are good.

The scenes they had together were cute, I especially loved the Starbucks scene. But I think the part that got me really into the story was the comment by the fangirl, "I'm half black."

I honestly wanted to slap this written up fangirl for saying something so ignorant. I'm really glad you wrote that in though, because it makes Natalie and Justin's relationship so much more real. And it also allows for the reader to be in Natalie's shoes because I'm sure she would have punched that girl, haha.

I spent 3 hours reading this, and I loved it. Thanks for the good read, I'll be subscribing to your sequel. I expect great things. :D

OMG! I loved it:).The cookie part had me rolling,so funny:)

Loved it :) And yay for happy endings

: D

Love, love loved it! Can't wait for the sequel to start. This was a great story, well done!!

:D

I loved this chapter so much.
I was in hysterics when I was reading the cookies part and how Dante was like "Your Mum shared cookies with me last night." or something along those lines. This was a perfect ending!
And i admire your writing. I will be subscribing to the sequel :D
This would actually be one of my favourite JB story that I have read.

love it

update soon

Review game

In Chapter 21, there is just one thing you forgot to do.

Bieber, not only did you sing with him but he sang with you and liked[.b] it.

there should be a / after the second 'b'
instead on the dot

Yesssss! :D
Oh my gosh. I love them; update soon <3

love your story so far..... keep updating and start the next one soon.... i was un able to go on the computer, so i got behind on all my reading but yours was the first one i went to read...

Love this story, can't wait for the next chapter :)

I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they are sooo perfect together(:
update soonnnnn

That was sweet. (:
I started reading this story yesterday, and now that I'm all caught up, I have to say that I'm glad they finally realize they have feelings for each other, and Justin even fell for her.
This last chapter gave me the warm fuzzies. I can't wait for an update!

Whooo! That was quite a heated chapter xD Man they are an awesome couple or whatever label they're considered ;) Can't wait for the sequel! I know you won't disappoint (:

Geez, Justin's a little hands on. Haha
: D

Oh goshhhhh, that is soooo cute. <3

gah this is adorable.
hes fallen for her, shes fallen for him.
AWE. couldnt get any better. hehe.
can't wait for the next chapter!<3