Obscurity - Comments

I love it. Its very original.

You're right, it does make more sense now. I loved the descriptiveness of this chapter (if not all of them), it makes me curious as to where you're going with this. The fact that you're writing about a disease that's real is what makes this story so saddening.

I genuinely love how odd this is. You describe things brilliantly and I think that even when he speaks nonsense, it i at least a little poetic. I might put a link to it on my page :)

LOL...its getting soo much more sensable now...cant wait for the update!!

<3

Mental! I loved it! Ah...But the disease is all too real and that makes me sad. :(

I love how the chapter flowed from start to finish. Anyway, I don't really know what else to say. It was another amazing chapter, it's not as confusing anymore. More soon?

YAY for updates.....im still a little confuzed but I am starting to get it....cant wait for the next update

<3

From habit, she ran her hand through his choppy tousled hair. His hair reminded her of a strong, concentrated coffee with burnt toast. Brushing his hair, she noticed the faint caramel highlights; it gave him a touch of warmth. She slowly retracted her hand and he shook his head, readjusting himself. His locks fell, just bordering the edges of his face and barely touching his cheekbones.

The description here is just beautiful. I loved the narration in this chapter... I like how well-written this is and the unique concept.

Hey, this is absolutely brilliant! - the interlinking of thoughts and actions is extremely well written and overall really interesting:) I especially like the presentation of Jet's mind processes - your writing technique ensures that the narrative is still easily understood despite his convoluted thoughts! LOVE it. Definitely subscribing - looking forward to the next update :)

Wow. I quite like this.
It's written very well and it's very interesting. I'm definitely going to subscribe. Can't wait for you to update soon. :)

Wow. Just wow. This is amazing. The way that you explained the way the person thought and how twisted it is, but still makes sense since you let the reader see how the thoughts and words connect. I can't wait for you to update. I'm subcribing.
:)

INTERESTING!!!....lol....confuzing but I'm sure it will be easier to understand once you have more chapters

**subs**

hope you update soon@@@

CHECK OUT MY STORIES!!!

A little on the confusing side, maybe putting the person's thoughts into italics? I'll stay on board for sure, =)

huh?