:) I think the fact that this story takes place in another country makes it very intriguing! But I think the beginning is a bit mundane. I don't think you have to mention ALL the details when you're writing ;) Also, I like your characters! Sayuri seems pretty clever and you've left the plot open enough that the reader wonders about what's going to happen next (i.e. Who are the mysterious neighbors, what is Ujiteru going to do next? What's up with the dude with the blue eyes? etc.) I hope that helped! Update soon because I subbed!
May 21st, 2010 at 12:51am