When Silence Roars - Comments

  • rains.in.spain

    rains.in.spain (155)

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    :) I think the fact that this story takes place in another country makes it very intriguing! But I think the beginning is a bit mundane. I don't think you have to mention ALL the details when you're writing ;) Also, I like your characters! Sayuri seems pretty clever and you've left the plot open enough that the reader wonders about what's going to happen next (i.e. Who are the mysterious neighbors, what is Ujiteru going to do next? What's up with the dude with the blue eyes? etc.) I hope that helped! Update soon because I subbed!
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:51am
  • man overboard!

    man overboard! (155)

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    Awesome update. the new guy seems like he'll be interesting. keep it up.
    May 20th, 2010 at 07:40pm
  • Howl

    Howl (100)

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    Something has been confusing me: Whenever the next person speaks you must start on a new line, preferably after leaving a line open. That way we know when it's two people speaking and not one. You kept on having conversations in one paragraph.

    I wonder who's the new student???
    May 20th, 2010 at 09:30am
  • Howl

    Howl (100)

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    Why does this story sound so familiar? Serious de ja vu. But I'm loving it and looking forward to more yesh!
    May 19th, 2010 at 06:04pm
  • man overboard!

    man overboard! (155)

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    Loved chapter one. You have a real talent for writing, I like how you continue to use many descriptive words. keep it up.
    May 19th, 2010 at 12:23am
  • man overboard!

    man overboard! (155)

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    I really like this so far, keep it up. This story has a lot of potential.
    May 17th, 2010 at 10:25pm