this isn't a bad story that you have it's just when u move to one seen to another i get lost, i lose track of time, you don't tell how the character get from one setting to another theres a lot of holes in the story it just gets me confuse, again it isn't a bad story and i don't mean to offense you, you just need to clean it up a little and be more descriptive from one scene to another it would be a really good story to read.
the helicopter needs to malfunction and esplode, but Jasmine, Ashton, Sean, and Freddy survive cuz they sweet like that! i'm stuck between Sean and Ashton. omg!! Sean and Ashton. Sean Ashton!!! the guy from lord of the rings.he played sam!! lol.i love them both though.