August 26th, 2012 at 03:10am
You're not allowed to have links in stories. That's the first thing I noted the moment I opened the first chapter; Dujo created character pages for a reason.
A second is that this layout is really hard to read. Bright green text on a black background? Yeah, that hurts eyes. Also, your chapter titles have no need for all the signs - you're able name them "One, two, ect" or "Chapter One, Chapter Two, ect" - this'll make the story look tidier.
This story seems a pretty dragish; maybe you should work on making it a little more interesting.
You didn't have to be so mean. Also, I wrote this story a long time ago so it was before Dujo really established the character pages.